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Househunting conflict with DH - Help! - Page 2  

post #21 of 34
3/6/08 at 7:54pm
All I have to say is that the mortgage is going to be cheap compared to the utilities, just ask your husband how much fun it is to pay the gas bill/electric bill!
post #22 of 34
3/6/08 at 8:25pm
Herausberger, too bad you are going to busy with a wedding. I live in West Monroe.
post #23 of 34
3/6/08 at 8:52pm
There is a lot of room between 125k and 200+k to reach a compromise. Yes, talking to him about the whys are important but he may not be able to articulate it for you.

Would you trade in your new SUV for an economy car and let that extra monthly payment go towards a home? Does he see the home as a status symbol? Is it a gift for you? The big, new car suggests maybe he expresses love through gift giving. Perhaps he wants to be the kind of person who can buy the home more than he wants to own it. Maybe bring up some other places you'd like to spend the $ (retirement or vacations) and get him hooked on that.

If this is going to be your home for the next 10-20 years, then I do think its wise to consider growing room. Will the kids eventually have their own bedrooms? (My Dh considers this a big deal, though I don't) How about a guest room for visiting relatives? Home office?

We bought very frugally in our home, and though the low fees allow us to do some things important to us (cut our work hours), we do also lament not having spent a little more $ to get a little more house. An extra 20-30k in purchase price would have made a nice difference in our at-home lives.
post #24 of 34
3/6/08 at 9:07pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herausgeber View Post
Yep. And I will be home this weekend, though I have to spend most of my time in Monroe for a wedding. Next time I come home to NW La, let's get together. I don't know any other AP mamas there.
Definitely! We'll have to think of a place to meet in Minden. We're over that way all the time. Not sure if there's really anything fun for the kids, though--maybe Shreveport/Bossier instead? Just let me know!
post #25 of 34
3/6/08 at 9:08pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by bc1995 View Post
Herausberger, too bad you are going to busy with a wedding. I live in West Monroe.
My MIL lives in West Monroe! Man, who would have thought this thread would have turned into a mama meet-up waiting to happen?

Thanks for all the advice, mamas. Valian, what you said was especially helpful. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said DH wants to be the person who CAN buy that house than the person who lives in that house. And yes, he does express love through extravagant gift-giving, definitely. He also just bought me a $200 cell phone I didn't really need for Valentine's Day.

I really like the idea of trying to save the money we would have to pay on a house like he wants, to show him how unrealistic it is. I honestly don't think we could save $2000 a month, so it's crazy to even think about taking on a mortgage with that kind of payment!
post #26 of 34
3/6/08 at 9:22pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by becoming View Post
We're looking in rural north Louisiana/rural south Arkansas/rural east Texas. This is one of the houses I wanted to look at that DH wouldn't.
______________

Wow -- that house would be well over $700,000 in my neck of the woods !! .. its a great house
post #27 of 34
3/6/08 at 10:25pm
i would just show him the numbers. take your current budget... add up how much you pay for food, car payments, gas, insurance, etc, basically all the essentials except for mortgage and utilities. take that total, say its $1500. then take how much your dh takes home each month, say $3000. tell him that after paying for all the bills that have to be paid, you have $1500 left over to pay for the mortgage, utilities, and any other extras (savings, vacation fund, college funds, retirement, entertainment, etc). basically bring him back to reality... that if he wants a $200k house, XYZ is what its going to cost for the mortgage, insurance, and property taxes. then tell him you called the listing agent on a 123 main street that he liked and that the utilities were however much a month. let him see that he would have to give up his daily starbucks or you'd only be able to go out to dinner once a month instead of twice (or no golfing saturday mornings with the guys, or whatever he likes to do).

then come to a compromise. like a PP said, maybe a $150k house. just figure out where you're comfortable. oh, and keep in mind what property taxes are. not sure how much they are in the areas you're looking at, but where i am, they can differ $2,000+ a year for comparably priced houses, which can make a BIG difference in the monthly mortgage payment.
post #28 of 34
3/6/08 at 11:57pm
I PMed you, but here is one more point to consider - If put down 20% cash on a house, you will not have to pay PMI (mortgage insurance). With the lower priced house, it will be easier to pay 20%.
post #29 of 34
3/7/08 at 12:01pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by becoming View Post
Definitely! We'll have to think of a place to meet in Minden. We're over that way all the time. Not sure if there's really anything fun for the kids, though--maybe Shreveport/Bossier instead? Just let me know!

There are actually some really neat parks.
post #30 of 34
3/7/08 at 12:53pm
Lindsay, please let me know the next time you are this way and have some time to get together. Kiroli Park would be fun.
post #31 of 34
3/7/08 at 1:13pm
You can can barely get a small lot here for 200k. Two lots down from us is small ranch house on the market...with 16 acres, not sub-divideable...and the asking price is 1.2 million.
post #32 of 34
3/7/08 at 1:22pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Herausgeber View Post
There are actually some really neat parks.
I admit to never having been to any of the parks in Minden. I used to work at Minden Medical Center, but I really never explored the town much, other than Wal-Mart (we just recently got a Super Wal-Mart in Springhill, before that we had to use Minden) and the restaurants.

Carrie, we've never been to Kiroli Park, but my DH has mentioned it before. I think my MIL might live really close to that area.
post #33 of 34
3/7/08 at 1:56pm
Don't forget the extra life insurance on your hubby (to pay for higher mortgage), that can add costs too!



DEEP discussion is needed. Need to get to the core of what is driving him. And then comprimise.

You BOTH have to be happy!
post #34 of 34
3/7/08 at 3:42pm
All I can say is wow. That house ... is just, WOW. Where I live, that would run about $600,000. Sigh.

Moving on.

A few ideas:

1. Go to Dave Ramsey's website http://www.daveramsey.com/etc/reales...gageCalculator
and see how much INTEREST you'd be paying on the larger mortgage. We just put in our numbers and realized we could pay off our $165K mortgage in 7 years and save $82,000!!! Tell him to think of how many toys he can buy when you're mortgage free!!!

2. If reason fails, then meet in the middle. Cut the difference.

3. Meet with a financial planner that HE chooses (so he can't cry "set up) and have a neutral third party go over your money realities and dreams. He might "listen" if the advice comes from a professional.

Best of luck, mama! And happy house-hunting!
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