*Update and birth story* post 45 co-worker scheduled for cs (for a 9# baby) - Page 3

[rmzbm]

Now maybe she'll understand MDs DON'T know everything. I hope in time she is opening to talking about it. And hopefully she will be thinking that you were right and be more open. My over 10 lb baby (at LEAST that big!) was 7 lbs 15 oz. Hard lesson. Glad to hear she and the babe are well!

[barefootpoetry]

Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug

Just wanted to update that the baby was born via c-section yesterday. 6# 11 ounces. I think mama and baby are both doing fine. She text me a picture last night and asked me to come visit them tomorrow - so obviously she isnt mad about the e-mail thing.

I'm sad for her that after all this that the baby was actually SMALL. Oh well, i need to try and not get so emotional about things i cant control.

When I made my first post on this thread, I almost typed that I was willing to bet $5 that this baby would come out 6 pounds and change. But that seemed horribly rude of me at the time, so I deleted it before posting.

I'm glad they're doing well, and glad she doesn't hold ill will towards you - not that I think she would. Maybe she will start to think this over herself sometime soon, esp. since her baby was sooooo much smaller than the doc told her he would be.

[cappuccinosmom]

Could you approach her more along the lines of "Wow, so how do you feel about that?" and then if she expresses disappointment, validate her, and then if she seems open to going further, give her the info?

[3cuties]

Wow, I can only imagine the pressure on her. The thing is, the information that you sent her may lead her to eventually question this c-section. And perhaps lead her to VBAC her next baby. I mean she has to wonder about the 3 lb differential.

ETA: I hit submit too early -- I think you did a great job in your email and as a friend. FWIW, I routinely send personal stuff to friends/colleagues at work and we are lawyers. LOL. We have worked together 7+ years. Recently, a co-worker asked me, "Isn't c-section safer." To which my head spinned and I sent him a bunch of links (his wife is newly pregnant). I think it depnds on your relationship with the person -- and we are all in a better position to judge the relationship than people online who do not know it.

[ErinsJuneBug]

One more update -

I saw the baby and all is well..and i found out that SHE NEVER EVEN GOT THE E-MAIL! I am so sad, i should have called her. I sent it on a friday and her c-section was monday and she just didnt check her e-mail.

Well her OB checked her dialation at 38 weeks and she wasnt dialated. Her OB said that her pelvis was too small and the baby was too big and that she would probubly just end up needed a c-section and that labor and a c-section would be too tramatic for the baby.

Anyway, her epidural didnt work and she was put out under general Her partner couldnt even be in there, so neither of them saw the baby be born.

Of course she kept saying that she was so greatful that the baby is healthy and that she is ok.

Baby is breastfeeding great, and i spent a lot of time helping her learn to nurse.

She didnt express any dissapointment over the delivery, but i'm not sure if that will last. I'm sad for her, for what she lost and for what she doesnt even realize she lost.

-Erin

[balancedmama]

Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug

One more update -

I saw the baby and all is well..and i found out that SHE NEVER EVEN GOT THE E-MAIL! I am so sad, i should have called her. I sent it on a friday and her c-section was monday and she just didnt check her e-mail.

Well her OB checked her dialation at 38 weeks and she wasnt dialated. Her OB said that her pelvis was too small and the baby was too big and that she would probubly just end up needed a c-section and that labor and a c-section would be too tramatic for the baby.

Anyway, her epidural didnt work and she was put out under general Her partner couldnt even be in there, so neither of them saw the baby be born.

Of course she kept saying that she was so greatful that the baby is healthy and that she is ok.

Baby is breastfeeding great, and i spent a lot of time helping her learn to nurse.

She didnt express any dissapointment over the delivery, but i'm not sure if that will last. I'm sad for her, for what she lost and for what she doesnt even realize she lost.

-Erin

[turtlewomyn]

Originally Posted by ErinsJuneBug

She didnt express any dissapointment over the delivery, but i'm not sure if that will last. I'm sad for her, for what she lost and for what she doesnt even realize she lost.

-Erin

When My DD was first born I was just so happy to meet her the c-section didn't bother me as much, after months past I started to have PTSD symptoms related to the c-section. Your coworker may be upset, or she may not. If she does express regret at some point, you could direct her to ICAN, I have found it very useful in my recovery.

[doularosemary]

I'm wondering what do doctors say to a mom after they have performed major abdominal surgery to deliver her from this GIANT baby and the little darling turns out to be actually below average birth weight???

Ooops:

[erin_brycesmom]

Originally Posted by doularosemary

I'm wondering what do doctors say to a mom after they have performed major abdominal surgery to deliver her from this GIANT baby and the little darling turns out to be actually below average birth weight???

Ooops:

IME, they often tell the mom that thank goodness she went with the c-section because the cord was around the neck and the baby would have strangled had she tried for a vaginal birth. Or insert some other problem that is probably not actually a problem.

[Banana731]

Originally Posted by doularosemary

I'm wondering what do doctors say to a mom after they have performed major abdominal surgery to deliver her from this GIANT baby and the little darling turns out to be actually below average birth weight???

Ooops:

That's a good question and I would LOOOOVE to know the answer to that one. Seriously you think they make stuff up afterwards? Maybe the OP can ask her friend what the OB said afterwards.

[turtlewomyn]

With regards to things the OB's say, the PP is right, they will say "Oh, the cord was wrapped around the neck" or "Oh the cord was really short" or something along those lines. I know other women that this has happened to. My baby turned out to be "big" (they were only off by 1.5 oz on their U/S estimate) so of course they didn't need to say anything to me. I did talk to the U/S tech later (she became our friend, long story) and she said that the doctor had said something to her about how accurate they were on the U/S.