my ds is 19 months old.... it isnt any better

[NotTheOnlyOne]

I just weaned off Lexapro because I found out I am pregnant. I am pretty sure its completely out of my system by now. My ppd is is a bit better then it was. I am not having intrusive thoughts at all. But I just feel tired and exhausted all the time. I feel like I am depressed and for sure not like myself before I had my ds.

I am terrified of going through this again with this new baby. I am terrified of bonding problems (although I did not have those problems with my ds) I just really really really dont want intrusive thoughts to come back after the baby is born. That was the scariest most miserable time.

I am terrified of losing the bond I have with my ds. I will have to stay in the hospital for 3 or 4 days (medically needed c-section) for this "birth" and I am so scared my ds will hate me when I come home from that with a new baby.

How do people deal with this stuff? I know I am not alone!!!!! But it doesnt make it much better.

[LynnS6]

The pregnancy hormones can really do a number on your body/mind connection.

Karen Kleiman has a good book about pregnancy after PPD:
What was I thinking?

Do you have a psychiatrist you're working with? If not, I would highly recommend that you see a psychiatrist to treat your PPD and a midwife/OBGYN for the baby/delivery.

There are a number of options during pregnancy:
-Going back on meds once the first trimester is over
-Going back on meds 2 weeks before your scheduled due date
-Going back on meds immediately upon delivery
-Not going back on meds, but having a plan in place with a psychiatrist and therapist so that you can go back on meds if you need it, so that you have the support that you need.

The book that I listed above gives ideas for a PPD-plan that you can work out with your partner and medical care providers.

If it helps, I was on meds for all of my pregnancy with my dd. She's a happy, healthy, vibrant 3 1/2 year old now. For me, the risk of meds was less than the risk of me not being medicated. I know that's not the case for everyone here. I know that this is a natural living site. But, there are times when the judicious use of medication is the best thing for all involved. Don't be afraid to talk to your family and your care providers about this.

[NotTheOnlyOne]

thank you.

I do have an appt with a physc. on April 16th. I have made SO many appts in the past and cancelled them because I am scared to go. I think I have cancelled like 5 or 6 times. Its unavoidable now though. I have to go. I hope and pray that this will make the difference I need.

I know there are women out there who are way worse than I am. I cant imagine what they are going through. WHy does this happen??? I feel broken. Like there is just one peice out of place somewhere and if I could just find it I could put it back and everything would be great. I have been taking mega doses of Omega's for months. I thought that was the missing piece. I guess I was wrong though.

[carolina~mom2be]

hugs momma! I can TOTALLY relate and my little girl is 18 months and i'm preggers too!!! I haven't done anything about it yet....but now is the time. I think i'll start with better diet, excersize and omegas and go from there.... I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone...i'm at the exact same place. I'm also thinking that low iron may be my culprit...let me know if you need to talk! I'm always here and would love to chat!
Lee Ann