Feeling down,is it PND?

[joliebebe]

So Im new to this area of MDC but Ive been having a hard time since ds2 was born. Ds1 whos 2 has been driving me up the wall, and Ive been having very bad thoughts about myself and the kids, some I would be too ashamed to admit on here. Ds2 is 3 months now and is a very 'easy' baby, so Im getting a full nights sleep and my schedule during the day is relatively laid back. But I just snap so easily and over the most minor things that DS1 does. Like if he doesnt go down easily for his nap in the afternoon, it almost drives me ballistic and I end up taking it out on him I dont know why Im not coping with these everyday things that really shouldnt be such a big deal. I thought about postnatal depression, but I always thought that it ment you wouldnt be 'down in the dumps', moody and etc, but Im not really like that. Although the general 'tone' of my spirits is more down than before Ds2 was born. What do you think?

ETA: When DS1 was 3 m/o we moved to France, then when I was 6months pregnant with Ds2, we moved back to NZ, then moved again to a different part of the country two weeks before my due date, and moved into our new house when I was actually overdue! Sooo..... as you see there has been alot of disruption, but we just cant seem to stay in the same place for very long, and currently we are planning to go back to France. It has never caused me too much stress, but maybe Im reaching my limit?

[LifeIsBeautiful]

Hi! I've been dealing with depression since probably 11 years old. My suggestion to you would be to take the quiz if you haven't already. It will have a list of symptoms and usually if you have a majority of the symptoms than a doctor will diagnose you as depressed. Firstly, I would get a diagnosis if I were you. I know it's hard to tell your doctor about this and even embarassing but they are so understanding. If your depression is severe, which I would classify as having suicidal thoughts than the doctor can prescribe a medication. If your depression is mild than you can try natural remedies, I can give you a ton.

[joliebebe]

I tried the link for the quiz before and couldnt find the page, but I have have just got it now and scored 83. The relationship between DH and I is a huge factor as its not so good right now. I dont have thoughts about killing myself, but everything is overwhelming, and I feel out of control. I do have thoughts about harming my kids, which is what really scares me.
The thing is dont want to take any medications, as Im breastfeeding. I did take St Johns Wort for a while but its not advised during lactation and I found my supply was affected. What other natural remedies can you suggest?

[LifeIsBeautiful]

I will be honest with you. I have had depression for a very long time. I have researched it along with other mental illnesses extensively. There are basicaly two solutions... cognitive therapy and medication. When combined, it is the most effective. A book that changed my life is called "Feeling Good" by Doctor David M Burns. The book deals with thought patterns. I would suggest you try that and see if the depression lifts. If you are determined to go the natural route, combine it with excersize and good foods. Unfortunately, depression is such a complex illness that it can not be cured by a herb or something like that. With my depression, I was unable to get enough ambition or strength to even go outside. I hated to wake up every morning, I cried myself to sleep. I really did need to take medication in order to start excersizing, cooking, meeting new people.
BTW, I had a friend who was depressed and never reached out to anyone for help. She hung herself. People need to realize this is a serious thing and some of us wish we could just 'stop' but we can't...