Hello,
I posted here about a month ago about my wife Lilly who had been sexually abused as a child and had a lot of fears and anxieties about the birth of our first child. We took the advice that many of you had given me and found a doula. Our son was born a few weeks early and although it was often very intense it was an overall positive experience and I think very healing for Lilly. Her self- confidence is the healthiest I have ever seen in her.
Lilly got a little panicky at first when she realized she was in labor but she soon calmed down and seemed to feel more in control. We snuggled in bed for quite a while in early labor and rubbed her belly and back. When things started to pick up we called our doula who came over and helped support us. I was so focused on Lilly that I had forgot to encourage her to eat a bit to keep her strength up so I was very glad that our doula reminded us about that. We all decided it was time to go to the hospital when Lilly no longer felt like talking even in between contractions.
When we got there Lilly was five cms dilated and our doula made sure that the doctor went slowly and talked her through the vaginal exam. Unfortunally, Lilly's tummy was very upset throughout most of her labor. She had some diarrhea and vomiting throughout most of the labor. Having stomach problems infront of strangers was one of her biggest fears but with our doula's help and our sensitive nurse it didn't turn out to be too bad. Our doula suggested that she try laboring on the toilet so she wouldn't feel so panicky when she felt a wave of intestinal upset. This really helped Lilly relax! I had a whole arsenal of comfort measures ready to employ but effleurage on her belly was mostly all that she wanted.
Transition was INTENSE but didn't last to long and although she was a little panicky she responded well to our comforting and calming. Pushing was difficult at first and she was very upset with the sensation. Our doula had explained before to the nurse about Lilly's history of sexual abuse and the nurse suggested Lilly try thinking the word "out" (apposed to in) while she pushed. This really seemed to help and when she would get panicky and upset and would remind her that the sensations were from the baby coming out and nothing was going in.
We were overjoyed when the baby was born. I could barely see enough to cut the cord because I was crying so much! We went home next day and things have been going great. Lilly is so proud of herself for making it through without medication and for being able to get through something that she was so afraid of. She seems so empowered by the birth and I really think it provided some healing for her. She is going to continue to see the psychotherapist but I think this birth experience has really helped move her recovery along. She loves nursing our son so much and I love watching him gaze at her and nuzzle and smell and (sometimes even lick!) her while he nurses.
So I just wanted to report our successful birth experience and thank you for all of your suggestions, especially the one about getting a doula. I never thought that birth could be so powerful and healing.
Thanks,
Lucas
I posted here about a month ago about my wife Lilly who had been sexually abused as a child and had a lot of fears and anxieties about the birth of our first child. We took the advice that many of you had given me and found a doula. Our son was born a few weeks early and although it was often very intense it was an overall positive experience and I think very healing for Lilly. Her self- confidence is the healthiest I have ever seen in her.
Lilly got a little panicky at first when she realized she was in labor but she soon calmed down and seemed to feel more in control. We snuggled in bed for quite a while in early labor and rubbed her belly and back. When things started to pick up we called our doula who came over and helped support us. I was so focused on Lilly that I had forgot to encourage her to eat a bit to keep her strength up so I was very glad that our doula reminded us about that. We all decided it was time to go to the hospital when Lilly no longer felt like talking even in between contractions.
When we got there Lilly was five cms dilated and our doula made sure that the doctor went slowly and talked her through the vaginal exam. Unfortunally, Lilly's tummy was very upset throughout most of her labor. She had some diarrhea and vomiting throughout most of the labor. Having stomach problems infront of strangers was one of her biggest fears but with our doula's help and our sensitive nurse it didn't turn out to be too bad. Our doula suggested that she try laboring on the toilet so she wouldn't feel so panicky when she felt a wave of intestinal upset. This really helped Lilly relax! I had a whole arsenal of comfort measures ready to employ but effleurage on her belly was mostly all that she wanted.
Transition was INTENSE but didn't last to long and although she was a little panicky she responded well to our comforting and calming. Pushing was difficult at first and she was very upset with the sensation. Our doula had explained before to the nurse about Lilly's history of sexual abuse and the nurse suggested Lilly try thinking the word "out" (apposed to in) while she pushed. This really seemed to help and when she would get panicky and upset and would remind her that the sensations were from the baby coming out and nothing was going in.
We were overjoyed when the baby was born. I could barely see enough to cut the cord because I was crying so much! We went home next day and things have been going great. Lilly is so proud of herself for making it through without medication and for being able to get through something that she was so afraid of. She seems so empowered by the birth and I really think it provided some healing for her. She is going to continue to see the psychotherapist but I think this birth experience has really helped move her recovery along. She loves nursing our son so much and I love watching him gaze at her and nuzzle and smell and (sometimes even lick!) her while he nurses.
So I just wanted to report our successful birth experience and thank you for all of your suggestions, especially the one about getting a doula. I never thought that birth could be so powerful and healing.
Thanks,
Lucas
congratulations!
