I thought it was a myth, and that you were all liars.

[sunnymw]

Really, I did. I thought that when you guys brought it up, you were just relaying horror stories that may have been distorted from person A to B to C and to you... you know what I mean? Like somewhere along the way, the actual message got mixed up.

I thought that you guys were all just weird, one of you at a time coming to post every now and then about the shockingness of this thing... like, we've discussed this a million times, why another thread on it? It isn't even REAL! It doesn't even REALLY happen except to some celebrities! Why must you start another thread on it?!?!

Well, today I found out why. Today I met my first real-life, in-person Total Elective I-Don't-Want-to-feel-contractions C-section mom.



I guess that to me it just seemed so... unreal and dangerous and crazy, and OMG who WOULDN'T want to birth vaginally?... I guess I just never processed that there really are people out there who DO it, and doctors that ALLOW it... it blew my mind!

What made me sad though was the lack of informed consent, and some of the things this woman's doctor told her (I WAS NOT SURPRISED though, we had the same OB). What also made me sad is that there were six of us in there, and only 2 of us had vaginal births (or as the other mom described her pitocin and epidural birth, "natural births"... which considering what we were up against I guess hers was pretty "natural").

One of the older mamas chimed in and said "I had 12 hours of pitocin and an epidural, then a c-section, and I didn't ever want to do that again so next time I just had the c-section, it was great."
I, the lone freak, said "I had 12 hours of pitocin without an epidural, and I don't ever want to do THAT again, which is why I'm having a homebirth this time."

Then we discussed homebirth--none of them knew that was even POSSIBLE... and how HB was the only way you could VBAC (which they were all told was "not possible"). It was a very interesting and informative discussion from there on out!

But yeah, now I know that those women really DO exist, and I won't roll my eyes every time I see a thread on here started about it


PS) All the c/s moms were talking about how great it was to have such a short bleed after birth since it was all taken out... OMG... wow!! It was only 10 weeks! I told them that it really does depend on a lot of other things--mine was only 5-6 weeks. I was soooo tempted to tell them that, if they want a very very short bleed after their next births, they should just eat their placentas. But I didn't have my camera with me and those pics would have been PRICELESS...

[starshine1001]

Hehehe! I naturally birthed a 10+ lb "turkey", had just a little tear, and bled for about 10 days. I've also met "those people", and to me it's so sad! I was talking with a friend of mine about that the other day...how it's so awesome to feel the birth...the baby moving down, crowning, the head being out with the body still in, then the release as the baby comes wooshing out...I couldn't imagine it any other way! To allow our bodies to do what comes naturally is a powerful thing. And you don't have to have major abdominal sugery either!!

[rmzbm]

Well, meet me. I had 2 failed vaginal births and was so scared of trying again I scheduled 2 more sections. They weren't needed, it was total fear. HB is the only way I can VBAC, to be sure. And I am. But after 4 sections...there is nervousness, not fear, but alot of unknowns. And I have no more choices, all my options are now stripped from me. See? They're STILL in control. I can have another c/s or do it my way. No birth attendant would touch me with a ten foot pole.

I recommend pitying these woman rather than judging. They are victims of a very messed up medical establishment. I am sure they have no idea what they are really setting themselves up for. I never thought I was making bad or wrong choices. Quite the opposite.

After the way they give you your vaginal birth, can you really be surprised more woman don't want it? I sure don't still...which is why I choose HB.

And, FWIW...I never bled more than 3 or 4 days.

[channelofpeace]

I have had two c-sections and one vba2c, which was induced for medical necessity in a hospital. And while the recoveries were night and day and that alone makes me favor vbac, i am with rmzbm on this one... hospital birth sucks. While i am very glad i got my vbac, it was extremely traumatic... complete with unwanted, ptsd-inducing vaginal exam that probably further sensitized me to kell anti-bodies because the doctor tried to "break my water again" and scraped my babies head and made him bleed. So it is no wonder people think c-section is preferable of the two. Sad really.

Honestly the part that bothers me the most is the lack of informed consent and the lies that are told about the safety (or lack thereof) of vbac and homebirth. Oh, the lies and fearmongering.

[felix23]

Meet me. I'm having a repeat c-section for personal reasons that I will not discuss here. I am very informed and my decision is to go with a repeat c-section because of some very personal reason. My reasons, by the way, have nothing to do with not stretching out my vagina or avoiding pain. I am also not trying to advocate c-sections because that is against the UA. I know that a vaginal, unmedicated birth is USUALLY best, but for me personally I do not feel that a vbac would be in my best interest.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by felix23

Meet me. I'm having a repeat c-section for personal reasons that I will not discuss here. I am very informed and my decision is to go with a repeat c-section because of some very personal reason. My reasons, by the way, have nothing to do with not stretching out my vagina or avoiding pain. I am also not trying to advocate c-sections because that is against the UA. I know that a vaginal, unmedicated birth is USUALLY best, but for me personally I do not feel that a vbac would be in my best interest.

Your body, your journey. Wishing you well!

[danotoyou2]

Oh the bleeding thing... I've had both.

A cesarean - bled for 6 weeks.
A VBAC - bled for 6 weeks.

The only difference? With the cesarean I had HEAVY bleeding for two weeks, and with the VBAC I had heavy bleeding for two days (just light flow after that).

[sunnymw]

Originally Posted by felix23

Meet me. I'm having a repeat c-section for personal reasons that I will not discuss here. I am very informed and my decision is to go with a repeat c-section because of some very personal reason. My reasons, by the way, have nothing to do with not stretching out my vagina or avoiding pain. I am also not trying to advocate c-sections because that is against the UA. I know that a vaginal, unmedicated birth is USUALLY best, but for me personally I do not feel that a vbac would be in my best interest.

The difference is that I am glad that YOU, at least, are going into it with fully informed consent. I am not against elective c-sections at all, , if you know what you're getting into. It's your birth.

Originally Posted by rmzbm

I recommend pitying these woman rather than judging.

I do. They have no idea just the sheer awesomeness of what they are missing. But FWIW, if I HAD to birth in that same hospital again, with those same doctors, my Gosh, I may just have to choose an ECS. It's crazy... at this hospital you can either have a c/s or a miserable vaginal birth experience. (And ofc you can't VBAC...)

[tinyshoes]

as for bleeding...

during a typical vaginal birth, a mama looses 500 ml of blood

during a typical cesarean, a mama looses 1,000 ml of blood.

How long a mama bleeds during her post-partum is related to many factors, one of which is: RESTING and not doing activity that disrupts the interior of the womb, as the large placental cite heals. Inside every post-partum womb is a huge soft-scabbed owie, where the placenta was--and when that gets disturbed, like doing that load of laundry, pushing the cart at Target, lifting a toddler, doing a lot of stairs/walking, that will certainly prolong post-partum bleeding.

as for "unusual" (by MDC standards ) birth choices...

When Survivors Give Birth by Penny Simkin explores some of the reasons why women choose the birth scenarios they do. Certainly the American Childbirth Industry and the obstetrical monopoly in hospitals affects women's birthing choices, but there are some other reasons, too, that motivate a person's choices.

[meowee]

I had a traumatic 4th birth. All births unmedicated up to that point. 4th was home waterbirth. After what I went through, if my OB offered an elective CS, I would consider it. Probably wouldn't do it, ultimately, but I can understand coming from a place of trauma, when your trust in the birth process was shattered. So I don't judge.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by meowee

I can understand coming from a place of trauma, when your trust in the birth process was shattered.

So can I, sadly.

[bobandjess99]

Originally Posted by meowee

I had a traumatic 4th birth. All births unmedicated up to that point. 4th was home waterbirth. After what I went through, if my OB offered an elective CS, I would consider it. Probably wouldn't do it, ultimately, but I can understand coming from a place of trauma, when your trust in the birth process was shattered. So I don't judge.

Yep, me too..after 2 horrificly painful UC's, I'd never do it again. Really. After this last birth, with hellish back labor and just pain beyond imagining....nope.
If I somehow accidentally got pregnant at some point in the future, and decided to go through with it...I'd either schedule a C/S or get an epidural at 1 cm......(completely possible in my local birthing climate, by the way....)

When you have a horrible experience, I think it's natural to desire to do it differently....look at how many moms on here are here wanting a midwife/homebirth/UC because their hospital/OB birth was so horrible...well, some of us have horrible "natural" birth expereicnes too......

[Jannah6]

As for the bleeding, I had the longest with my c-section. My friends mom and I were just talking about how unnatural c-sections are. I told her that women elect to have c-sections and she was

Personally, I'd rather go through 24 hours of labor than have a section. But alas, my dreams of another vaginal birth are gone. I had a vertical uterine incision, so there is no VBAC for me.

[felix23]

I bled for less then a week and it was all very light. But I was spending the majority of my time sitting in a chair looking at my dd in her isolet, so that might have something to do with it. But my period started back exactly one month later, and boy was I bummed. :

[zoebird]

I do not feel that a vbac would be in my best interest.

while you haven't ennumerated your reasoning--and i do not think that you must, need to, or should--i can trust that this is right for you and support your decision 100%.

i think that there are women who choose c-section routes for very valid reasons, but thta the majority of women getting them are not getting all of the information or truly making a reasoned decision.

if they were, then there would be fewer c-sections. but, that doesn't mean that all c-sections are bad or inappropriate or wrong or unreasoned.

[3cuties]

Originally Posted by meowee

I had a traumatic 4th birth. All births unmedicated up to that point. 4th was home waterbirth. After what I went through, if my OB offered an elective CS, I would consider it. Probably wouldn't do it, ultimately, but I can understand coming from a place of trauma, when your trust in the birth process was shattered. So I don't judge.

I hope I am not prying -- can you elaborate at why it was traumatic? I had a scary transition with my third (still processing), it was scary due to pain. After that I thought -- I am getting induced next time to avoid all this. But here I am planning a HB. So I very interested to hear why it was trauamtic -- if you prefer to pm me, I would love to read. Thank you.