6 1/2 year old attending a birth?

[CawMama]

Just wanted to ask for some feedback and resources from you all. My sister is having her second child, and asked me last night if I thought it would be a good idea to have her 6 1/2 year old daughter attend the birth. I answered with an exhuberant "heck yeah". I think she is looking for some re-assurance that it's a "good idea".

Her daughter is pretty mature for her age, and is really interested and educated about the human body.

Can you recommend any places that might have articles or write ups about this topic? Or would you be kind enough to share any personal experiences?

TIA!

[rmzbm]

Don't know about articles, but I see no logical reason NOT to involve a child of ANY age. Unless they choose not to. My 6 YO DD will be at mine.

[loudmama]

Unless a child is in their teen years & able to be by themselves, make sure there is a care giver. Even if the child can handle all the mess & sounds of birth, they may get bored. Labor can be long & boring for those not involved. Plus, Mom may decide she wants the child to leave as well.

Otherwise, I think having your kids around is great. I had planned for my 5yo DD be around, but DS came so fast, no one but the hospital staff was there. (I was on hospital bed rest & it was 4am.)

L

[tinyshoes]

I plan to have my 6.5 yo and my 4.5 yo at my next birth this April. In addition to a doula for me (& dh) I've invited a family friend--who's comfortable w/ home birth--to be a doula for my kids (to comfort them, help them get snacks/etc if labor is long, or even to take my kids away if I change my mind about keeping them around during labor!)

[ElkMtnsMama]

I attended the birth of my youngest brother when I was almost 8, and believe the experience played a large role in my lifelong viewing of birth as a natural and normal part of life, rather than a medical emergency. My mom had a hospital birth, but completely unmedicated, and I remember being a little embarrased for her because of the noises she was making during labor...she had prepared me for this aspect, but it was still a little startling.

It was an amazing experience though, and I was much more attatched to that brother than to my other siblings.

I say go for it, as long as the child has been adequately prepared as far as what to expect.

[mama_in_PA]

When DS arrived at home the whole family was there; DSD (9 yo), DS (5 yo), and DSS (3 yo). It was a long labor (13.5 hours) so they just played most of the time. I think the best thing we did was to give them jobs, no matter how insignificant, to make them feel like they were a part of it. Then when pushing time came around they were all riveted and hesitating, awaiting their sibling. When he came out they all were hovering and cooing over him. Personally, I feel it was a bonding experience for all of us that brought our little blended family closer together.

[ChristianMomOf2]

One of my friends just had her 4 and 8 year old daughters at the birth of her (now) 6 month old. It was a great experience for them all. I don't know of any articles.

I have a 16 month old. We're not going to have him with us during hard labor or birth since he's too young for us to try to explain to him not to crawl on mommy, or worry about any pain I'm in, or moaning or whatever...

I think once you can explain to your children what's happening, it's a wonderful experience for them! Make sure you have someone to watch her, or take her out of the room to watch her if SHE decides she doesn't want to be there.

[deditus]

At 6 I had already witnessed 3 homebirths: my brother when I was 2, my cousin when I was 4, and another cousin when I was 6. Seeing birth as natural and normal my whole life definitely made my choice to birth naturally easy.

[Veritaserum]

My children have been at the home births of their siblings ranging in age from 22.5 months - 6.5 years. I would not have them at a hospital birth because I think those are generally too scary, but at home I think it's great.

[doctorjen]

My oldest son was 6 1/2 at the accidental UC homebirth of our second child. He was planning to attend the birth anyway (planned hospital birth) it just turned out a little different than we'd thought. He did just great, and went on to attend his little brother and sister's births when he was almost 9 and almost 15 respectively.

My little ds was almost 6 when his baby sister was born. He and my 8 yr old at the time dd attended that birth as well and it was wonderful to have my whole family together to greet our last baby.

I've attended a fair number of sibling attended births and in general I've found that kids do pretty well, as long as their needs are attended to (hunger, sleep, that kind of thing) and they are free to do what they want, come or go, be right up close or in the corner, what ever they are comfortable with. One of my most favorite births was attended by the 4 yr old sister. Within a minute after birth, the mom asked the little girl to come feel the cord pulsing, and the big sister climbed into bed with her mom and snuggled in with her, and the baby and the mom and little girl and the dh all held the cord and enjoyed the new baby. It was a very magical moment