Easter, Family Gathering, and H's aunt who thinks extended BF is "disgusting."

[TattooedMommy]

Ugh. I really don't know what to do. Easter is coming up and my husband's family will be getting together and of course I am expected to be there with the kids. Well, at Thanksgiving my husband's aunt made it very clear to me that she thought BF past one year is "disgusting." My daughter had literally just turned 12 months 2 days before. I told her then that I didn't agree and I had no plans to quit BF anytime soon (daughter is now 16 months and probably around 95% BF). We spent Christmas with the other side of my husband's family and didn't see this aunt at all. But now I'm pretty sure she will be invited to Easter. I just don't want to deal with it at all. I'm actually kicking myself because if I would of thought of it sooner I could of made plans to be out of town with my best friend or my side of the family. FWIW, spewing off statistics to her or stuff like that is not going to make a difference. She is one of these people who think that they are always right, no matter what. The only thing that I got going for me is that it is at MIL's house and she BF all 4 of her kids for 3 to 4 years and will have no problem telling said aunt to shove it. So maybe I should just tell MIL my concerns ahead of time and have her prepared? Also, there is no way in heck that I will go in another room, etc. Nope, not teaching that kind of behavior to my kids or any of the kids there. There will be 5 teen girls there and I talk to them about BF every chance I get!

I guess really I just need some support, someone to tell me I'm doing the right thing. Maybe if you guys have some good one liners I could keep in mind in case the topic does come up.

[maine06]

HUGS. I would totally talk to MIL and have her help you on this It's her house, she can tell DHs aunt to leave if she has a problem

[KBecks]

Just do your thing and if she hassles you tell her that you're going to BF where you're comfortable and she can leave the room if she's bothered.
Be nice, don't argue, but don't change your actions either. If it's at MIL's house and MIL is OK with you nursing anywhere in her home, then you're totally OK. If not, you may want to clear with MIL in advance that you are OK to BF anywhere during the Easter gathering.

Hope it's fun anyway!

[FREEmom1120]

That's awesome you have your MIL as a secret weapon.

I hope it goes well for you.

[hollyvangogh]

I think it's great that you want to show those teen girls how NORMAL and NOT GROSS BFing is! Wish I had been exposed to it at that age...wish I had been a BF baby but that's a whole other issue.

[ElliesMomma]

and 16 months old is still a *baby*! yowza if anyone dare say anything. you are so lucky that MIL breastfed kids to 3 or 4. that is so rare for that generation. totally get her prepared to be on your side, and then stop worrying about this.

[MilkTrance]

It's not the Aunt's house, so basically, she can shove it. Stand strong.

[mntnmom]

Offer your Aunt a blanket for HER head. :LOL
Just joking, that's not productive. But it's HER problem, not your's. And it's not her house, so she has no place to say anything. And try to have fun.

[blueridgewoman]

You know, I'm facing the same thing and a lot of pressure to go into a different room when I bf.

But.... screw them. My child has a right to eat without a blanket over her head and I have the right to feed her. I do so discreetly, and they are free to say whatever they want or leave. And that's just all there is to it. Sorry.

[elanorh]

If MIL is fine with it (and it sounds like she is), then I wouldn't worry. Because auntie probably knows that too - and won't make too big a scene, for fear of bringing her (sister's?) wrath down on herself. You could certainly mention the earlier conversation to MIL just so she can put a bug in aunt's ear if she wants to, beforehand. Something along the lines of, "We are so proud DIL is still bf, and would hate for someone to try to make her uncomfortable about it."

If aunt confronts you, my responses would be:
1. You know, she was the same baby the day after she turned 1 as she was the day before, and she's still a baby now. She needs to breastfeed.

2. Every major medical and health organization stresses how important bf is. In fact, the AAFP states that children under two are at greater risk of illness if weaned before then. So I'd love to see the medical research you've read which shows otherwise.

Seriously - smile sweetly and say that your doctor recommends this and is proud of you, and put the pressure on her to find any research which backs her up. Mention the # of people who claimed the world was flat without any research, or that the earth revolved around the sun, or etc. Paint her as the fool that she is acting like.

[mum21andtwins]

My reply allways is well i think smoking/drinking/batteryeggs ()fill in disturbing/disgusting thing aunt does) is pretty disgusting but hey its a free country i'm happy to let you know when we're nursing so you can look the other way.

Not her house not her place to say anything imo

[MarcyC]

Tell her the pediatrician told you to keep nursing because of the flu running rampant around the country!

[GooeyRN]

Talk to you MIL about it since its her house. She can then slap your aunt for you.

[katie9143]

the second she makes a comment i would tell her that i had no intention of participating in her conversation if she only had negative things to say. you would be surprised how quickly a conversation involving only one person lasts

[JustOneMore]

My MIL used to pick me apart all the time. Id just tell her that she had her chance to raise her kids and make her mistakes and Id appreciate the same opportunity to make my own 'mistakes'.

*not that breastfeeding is a mistake* Using those words had a certain meaning for my MIL b/c my husband had recently confronted her about all the mistakes she made with him in his childhood and the things she picked me apart for PALED in comparison.