Tattoos?

[superstella]

My teenager's birthday is tomorrow; he will be 16. For his birthday, he has asked for a tattoo. He has been asking for one for about 6 months now, and has his dad's (my xh, and this is significant) okay. When he first approached me about it, I told him I wanted him to think about it long and hard, and we'd revisit it in 6 months (his birthday, i.e. NOW!) He has put a lot of time into investigating various designs and such, and has decided he wans a wolf on his chest.

I have such mixed feelings about this, and I really can't get to the root of what my problem is exactly. Do I think he's too young to make that decision? Possibly, but he is quite mature in many ways and I know it's not something he jumped into lightly (hence the 6 month waiting period). Also, it will be HIS body, not mine, so does my opinion really matter? And I feel that he has chosen a reasonable location, as I had suggested that perhaps he'd want it somewhere that it could be hidden in the future if he so desired. I have a tattoo, but it's not one that can be seen by the general public unless I am in a swimsuit that happens to show it (some swimsuits cover it). SO it's not like I have anything against tattoos per se... Maybe I just don't want him to be that grown up! He has been very thoughtful and mature about the whole thing, and if I end up saying "no" I don't think it will be *that* big of an issue and he'll probably just get it done when he turns 18.

So, mamas of teens, what do you think? Would you allow your teen (16) to get a tattoo? Why or why not? Where we lived before (IL) it wasn't an issue as no tattoo parlor would do it on a minor (even with parental consent). Here, however, that is not an issue - he can get it done without my consent if he has the $$.

[mntnmom]

I don't have a teen yet, but I do have tattoos. I probably would discourage my 16yr. old from getting one.
Has he wanted the same tat for the whole six mnths? Has he thought about how it will look when he goes for that job interview? What he will tell his kids? What it will look like when he's old and wrinkly?

Does he know what Hepatitis is? Or how to tell a shop is clean?
I would make my DC give me satifactory answers to all the above, before I would let him get a tattoo.
Has he looked into tattoo removal in case he changes his mind? It's expensive, painful and leaves an ugly scar.
That said, I love mine, and would get more if they didn't bother my DH. But it IS a lifelong commitment, and should be treated that way.

[superstella]

Originally Posted by mntnmom

I don't have a teen yet, but I do have tattoos. I probably would discourage my 16yr. old from getting one.
Has he wanted the same tat for the whole six mnths? Has he thought about how it will look when he goes for that job interview? What he will tell his kids? What it will look like when he's old and wrinkly?

Does he know what Hepatitis is? Or how to tell a shop is clean?
I would make my DC give me satifactory answers to all the above, before I would let him get a tattoo.
Has he looked into tattoo removal in case he changes his mind? It's expensive, painful and leaves an ugly scar.
That said, I love mine, and would get more if they didn't bother my DH. But it IS a lifelong commitment, and should be treated that way.

It's been the same tat for about 5 of the 6 months. He changed his mind early on but once he found this current design he's been consistent. He wants it on his chest, specifically so that it could be covered if he didn't want to show it. He doesn't think he ever wants kids right now, so he can't answer that one. And yes he knows about Hepatitis and what the proper sterilization methods are.

Tattoo removal, I'll have to get him researching on that one, it's a very good point. He has said (thus far) that he'd just wear a shirt if he didn't want it to be seen.

Thanks for the ideas!

[AlpineMama]

Both DH and I have tattoos that represent our spirituality. DH got a phoenix that covers his whole back when he was 16 and he's never regretted it.

If a tattoo had special significance to him, he wanted the same design for a few months at least, he knew how to take care of it, and it was able to be comfortably covered up (so not on arms, neck, etc) and wasn't a "faddish" tattoo... I'd probably let him. Maybe closer to 17 instead of 16, but you know your son.

For me getting a tattoo was a really spiritual experience. Have him research the history of tattooing and gain a healthy respect for it. It's not just a fashion statement I think. Also, I wouldn't let him get one related to music, or anything like anarchy or rebellion or anything... I know people who got those designs as teens and really regretted it. Does he have any special connection to the wolf or does he just think it looks cool?

[AlpineMama]

Originally Posted by superstella

He doesn't think he ever wants kids right now, so he can't answer that one.

Oh, gosh. DH was overseas and found out his serious girlfriend had cheated on him. (This was years ago.) He got plastered and got "trust no b******" tattooed on his stomach in large letters. : I'm still trying to figure out how he's going to explain that one to our daughter (and son for that matter). Luckily it's not indicative of his character, but a great argument against getting a tattoo in the heat of the moment!

[Phantaja]

I got my first tattoo when I was 13. My mom took me to get it. 12 years later and I still don't regret it.

It's in a place that I can cover if I want, or expose if I want. I don't think that my mother would've allowed it if I wanted it on my bicep or neck.

As far as removal, there is a new ink available that makes removal much easier than it was previously. http://www.freedom2ink.com/

[glorified_rice]

I personally have two tattoos that I do not regret getting. My first was when I was 18. Both were very well considered and are special to me. Your son seems to be very mature about this, and it appears that he has given it much more thought and consideration than most "adults" would. I would, however, visit the tattoo studio with him just to verify the sterilization process, etc... believe it or not, there are still some out there that do not follow proper procedure. They should be very happy to give you a tour and tell you about all of the processes in detail.

[Cherie2]

My dd has been asking for a tattoo since she was 15 (she is 19 now). I have tried to discourage her mainly because her tastes change so frequently I fear she will tire of it and have no recourse. But she knows how I feel and now that she is "of age" she does not need parental permission. So far she has not persued getting one. I truly think she could model and may want to pursue that some day and tattoo could make that more difficult.

I sounds to me like your ds really knows what he wants. I have nothing against tattoos per se but its a very permanent decision. I think you would know better if you think this is something he will regret.

[Sage.Naissance]

I DESPARATELY wanted a tattoo when I was that age. DESPARATELY. I used to hang out in tattoo parlour and got all kinds of piercings but my mother wouldnt let me get a tattoo. I used to plan and plan and draw all the time. By the time I was old enough to get a tattoo I didnt get one right away... and then I never did.. Ive never completely ruled it out but I dont think about it. And now I think back and think "THANK GOD I DID NOT GET THAT TATTOO"
I used to want "A fire inside" which is for AFI, a whiney annoying emo band I hated 2 yrs after I wanted that tattoo, and some logo off of the back of a punk rock record.... Neither of those things are representative at all of who I am now, and would just be a reminder of the absolute horror of teendom.

Dont let the kid get the tattoo. I am cool with tattoos but teens get stupid crap. Once I knew a guy growing up in a in small rural town ontario who got 'westside' with bullet holes on his arm. West side of what? Bruce county?... Bet he regrets that one big time!
He will think you are like totally the most square loser mom and like how could you because all of his other friends moms are letting their sons get tattoos and hes really thought about it and it will always have a lot of meaning for him. He will thank you when hes older. I know I thanked my mother. She still teases me about wanting those silly tattoos.

[Sage.Naissance]

Originally Posted by truemists

Oh, gosh. DH was overseas and found out his serious girlfriend had cheated on him. (This was years ago.) He got plastered and got "trust no b******" tattooed on his stomach in large letters. : I'm still trying to figure out how he's going to explain that one to our daughter (and son for that matter). Luckily it's not indicative of his character, but a great argument against getting a tattoo in the heat of the moment!

I am sorry but that is HYSTERICAL! I love it... do you have pictures?! hahaha

[AlpineMama]

Originally Posted by Sage.Naissance

I am sorry but that is HYSTERICAL! I love it... do you have pictures?! hahaha

Er, I just asked him and he emphatically said no pics... Go figure!

[laoxinat]

Given your description of his process, I say yes. As a PP said, tats can be a very spiritual undertaking. I think it will be even more precious to him if his mama gives her blessing. My DS's first tattoo at 17 was a human heart with a ribbon across it bearing my name....needless to say I was very touched. It still makes me tear up a bit

[HollyBenMom]

I am not the mom of a teen... heck, my oldest just turned 4 two weeks ago, so take this with a grain of salt if you want.

I say you know your son best... and if you think he is mature enough to make that decision and you're comfortable with the fact that he's been thinking about it and is consistant with his choice long enough, then let him. At 16 I was about as grown up as I am now (minus the marriage and kids, but you get my drift) and could have made that decision if I wanted to then... I chose to wait until I was almost 19 before getting my first tat because I just didn't know what I wanted yet. I don't regret any of the tats I have and look forward to being done with pregnancy & nursing so that I can get more.

I totally believe that this will be the attitude I take with my kids when they are teens. If I believe they are ready to handle making a decision of that magnitude and they have the waiting period like you have implemented I will totally let them as long as its not a faddish thing (as pp-ers have mentioned) and is in an area that can be easily covered if need be. I know I'll be much more liberal in these areas than my parents were (who only let me get my ears pierced once prior to turning 18. LOL)

[Datura]

Hmm, is the design ok? Like not tacky, faddish, poorly drawn, etc? Is it something you could see him having as a 30 year old man? Can it well and truly be hidden by normal clothing? Is he going to get it colored or not? (Black ink removes better than colors...)

If those are yes, then I'd probably say yes. I forsee this conversation in our house in about 10 to 12 years, to be honest. Between hubby and I we have about a dozen tattoos and the Bear is FASCINATED. He is generally covered in rub on ones.

There are artist and parlor reviews online to be found. Some of the sites that have them have other, more um, interesting forms of modification displayed so you'll possibly want to supervise that activity.

Also, when you get to the parlor have them go over the sterilization procedure, ask to see the autoclave maintenance sheet, show you where they snap and dispose of the needles, etc. Then excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. If the toilet is clean, then you're probably pretty safe. That means that when no one is looking they do the right thing and are maintaining a high quality establishment. Sounds weird, but the good places I've been to have had that in common. If it hasn't seen Mr. Toilet Duck in years turn and flee.

Also, he can usually expect to be put on a waiting list for a good artist. 2 weeks to 3 or 4 months isn't unusual. And the cost may well be significant. Tattoos aren't something that you bargain shop for. Its with you for life, you need to splash out and get something good.

[tubeater]

I'd say no because I have yet to meet an exceptionally talented artist that will tattoo a minor. I got a tattoo at 15 and while I do not regret my design, I regret that I went to someone who did a half-assed job.

Maybe the person yall have in mind is great, but like I said, I've *never* met one.

[CookieMonsterMommy]

Yeah...I've never met a reputable artist who'll tattoo anyone under 18. Even with both parent's consent.

In some places, it's even illegal.

Call around-you might not even have a decision to make.

[CherryBomb]

I had 2 of my tattoos done at 16. My first wasn't too bad, but stupid, yet easily hidden. My second is a chest piece that's very hard to keep covered. I hate and I regret and I can't afford to get it removed.

My husband is covered in tattoos and I have 5 myself, but we aboslutely won't consent to our children being tattooed underage.

Piercings, on the other hand...

[EFmom]

I'm really hard line on this. I loathe tattoos.

When my kids are self-supporting, they can get tattoos. While they are living in my house, they may not, whether they are 16 or 36. Period, end of story.

[Arduinna]

Where we live you can't get a tattoo as a minor even with parental consent. Although both myself and her father have numerous tattoos and wouldn't forbid them at 16 if she had wanted one at that age and she was able to get a professional one legally.

[cjanelles]

I have no problem with tattoos. I have some myself, and intend to get more.

I won't bat an eyelash if my kids want to get tattooed. However, I do believe that they should wait until they are 18, at least, (age of consent) so that they are not making impulsive decisions that will alter their appearance permanently.

That said, if your DS has been a responsible kid and he has also done his homework about the tattoo he wants, then you may well want to consider giving him your blessing.