The Queer & Pregnant thread - March/April 2008 - Page 7

[MujerMamaMismo]

Jenn...what distressing news. I'm so sorry to hear it and am sending you all the love and sticky, growing baby vibes in the world. :

kk Not long now! I'm only 8 weeks and already wondering when it'll be over. I am really hoping that this feeling will pass with the 1st trimester 'cos otherwise I'm in for one hell of a ride.
(Had a tour of the Mercy BC last night and loved it, btw! Also got to see pics of the new RWH delivery suite - my friend is a sparky and she's been working on the site for the last couple of years -anyway, it looked pretty snazzy - : that you make it there!)

[simcon]

Originally Posted by JennM1021

Thanks for the support ladies. Like you said Jen...I really really hope this little bugger is just hiding on me. The Dr said it's possible...I don't know...I just don't know how I'll make it through the next week.

I'm so sorry to hear about your ultrasound, Jen, and hope you can find ways to take good care of yourself this week. My fingers are crossed, too, for a hiding little one!

[Scalpel]

my thoughts are with you too!!! hugs and prayers!!

[kk_davey]

Oh man Jen, that's terrible. What a full on week. If it was me I'd be assessing every symptom for signs of continuing pregnancy, like the 2ww all over again. I really hope it works out. Wouldn't it be very unlikely that the sac would be full size if something was wrong? That's a really good sign isn't it?

You're almost half way through the week, so hang in there!

MMM - I was like that too in my first trimester. I continued to feel sick in to my second trimester, but once the weeks start stacking up (e.g. like you're at week 15/16) if starts going much faster, and you start feeling like you're getting somewhere.

I'm so hoping I make it to the new RWH - I'm hoping in my bones! But then again I'm hoping for the baby not to be very late, so they're kind of contradictory hopes. Unless the move sticks to 22nd June, which I doubt it will! I'm sure I've asked you this before, but I'll try again just in case - do you know how many women to a room in the new RWH? I'm very much hoping it's single rooms, but I can't imagine it will be. Not in the heart of Carlton/Parkville...

Did/does anyone here in the 3rd trimester get much cramping? I am finding I get quite a bit of cramping. When I mentioned it to the midwife yesterday she seemed a little surprised and concerned. Then when I looked it up in a couple of pregnancy books it didn't have anything written at all for 3rd trimester. So then I started getting a little worried. They're definitely uncomfortable but they don't feel wrong, if that makes sense.

[rightkindofme]

Pain Management

Originally Posted by kk_davey

Re the whole labour pain thing, does anyone know of a good DVD or book I can buy to read about managing the intensity/pain? I've found some great sounding workshops but they're $470, plus I think a DVD would be good because then I can watch it as close to the due date as I like. I've found the workshops are not very frequent, so I'd have to take them quite a while before I'm due. I looked on amazon but didn't find much in the way of pregnancy pain management. Is this a gap in the literature, or I just wasn't searching for the right thing?!

So I went to classes on Hypnobirthing. You can get the book on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/HypnoBirthing-...0215712&sr=8-1

I'm a big fan of the idea that giving birth doesn't automatically have to be painful because pain comes from fear. If you aren't afraid then you won't have much pain. We'll see if I'm right in a few more weeks.

Oh, uhm... hi! I'm Krissy. I've been lurking and reading for a while but I never really knew what to say... My due date is 5/25 and I'm all scheduled for a homebirth. Which means that kidlet (of undetermined gender) could show up at any point now and be all cheerfully greeted.

[JenInMpls]

Krissy - I hope it works for you. And wow, you've been lurking a long time

[kk_davey]

Thanks Krissy. I'll definitely check that out. I agree that the psychology around labour is a huge factor in the pain experience. But I also think that the psychology emerged for a reason - because it is a challenge for our bodies, and we should be prepared for not being able to control the intensity & timing of contractions. Which is scary to me - just having to take what comes without any say in the matter!

What is everyone planning (or those who work full time) with regards to when to finish up work? I had always thought that 2 weeks prior was standard, but it's becoming clear to me that 2 weeks is considered a risk, and 4 weeks is the standard. Not that there has to be a standard as such, but 4 weeks is considered usual (mum said it used to be a compulsory 6 weeks!). I've timed all my work completion around 2 weeks, & now find myself in a position where the Dr's/midwives strongly suggest I should finish 4 weeks prior to my EDD, which puts me in a bit of a pickle. Just wondering what other people are planning in this regard...

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by kk_davey

Thanks Krissy. I'll definitely check that out. I agree that the psychology around labour is a huge factor in the pain experience. But I also think that the psychology emerged for a reason - because it is a challenge for our bodies, and we should be prepared for not being able to control the intensity & timing of contractions. Which is scary to me - just having to take what comes without any say in the matter!

Historically speaking a lot of the current psychology around labor started with the banning/burning of wisewomen as witches and indoctrination by the Church. (I'm not blaming any part of current Christianity...) It was priests who started pushing the idea that labor *should* be painful because all women should suffer because of Eve. There is documentation that labor was not thought of as being so terrible before that point. The move to hospitals began in this country in the nineteenth century and the resulting move towards medicating women for healthy normal deliveries compounded the problem.

I've been pretty neurotic about researching this stuff. Because I didn't want to leave my job in the middle of a semester (I'm a high school teacher) I stopped working in January.

I think it is really neat how cultures with very little fear of birth have completely different experiences from most Americans. I love that our brains really are the strongest part of any experience for us. I probably also have this attitude because my mom had "easy" labors. She describes labor as "not exactly fun--but not a real big deal either." Here's hoping I follow her pattern of labors that range between 45 minutes and 6 hours long.

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

Krissy - I hope it works for you. And wow, you've been lurking a long time

Uhm... only seven months...

[JenInMpls]

Originally Posted by rightkindofme

I probably also have this attitude because my mom had "easy" labors. She describes labor as "not exactly fun--but not a real big deal either." Here's hoping I follow her pattern of labors that range between 45 minutes and 6 hours long.

I will not tell you my story because I know you're not supposed to do that to moms who are about to give birth but if you have a sister, your labor would be more comparable to hers than your mother's.

Good luck. jen

[2happymamas]

Originally Posted by rightkindofme

Oh, uhm... hi! I'm Krissy. I've been lurking and reading for a while but I never really knew what to say... My due date is 5/25 and I'm all scheduled for a homebirth. Which means that kidlet (of undetermined gender) could show up at any point now and be all cheerfully greeted.

Welcome!

Originally Posted by kk_davey

What is everyone planning (or those who work full time) with regards to when to finish up work? I had always thought that 2 weeks prior was standard, but it's becoming clear to me that 2 weeks is considered a risk, and 4 weeks is the standard. Not that there has to be a standard as such, but 4 weeks is considered usual (mum said it used to be a compulsory 6 weeks!). I've timed all my work completion around 2 weeks, & now find myself in a position where the Dr's/midwives strongly suggest I should finish 4 weeks prior to my EDD, which puts me in a bit of a pickle. Just wondering what other people are planning in this regard...

I am planning to work up until I go into labor. I work for a really small agency that does not offer FMLA because we are not even close to having the minimum 75 employees....if a business does not have 75, they do not have to offer FMLA. I can only take a maximum of six weeks, paid or unpaid. So, yup, working until I cannot work anymore.

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

I will not tell you my story because I know you're not supposed to do that to moms who are about to give birth but if you have a sister, your labor would be more comparable to hers than your mother's.

Good luck. jen

I have heard the same thing from two different midwives. I really hope it is true because my older sister's two labors were very, very short.

Me:

I am a freaking wreck. I have my first ultrasound in two hours and am so scared. I cannot lose another baby. I am only 5 weeks, 5 days and know that a heartbeat may very well not be present this early. But I am so scared of them finding another empty sac. My friend gave me a cigarette in case I need it after the appointment. I am genuinely terrified. It's very grey outside and raining. In my head, that's not such a great sign.

[JennM1021]

2HM...fingers crossed really really tight for you that this little bean is snuggled in nicely this time around. :

[JenInMpls]

2hm, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to hear your results... whether good or bad, we want to know !!!

[simcon]

2 happymamas:

I hope all went well with your ultrasound today! I am right there with you....I'm going to my third u/s tomorrow, and I am unfortunately just as nervous as I was for the first one, despite having seen the heartbeat twice thus far. I m/c'd at 12 weeks last time (I think you were near that too?), and so was just feeling more relaxed and bam. Ugh. For me, it wasn't an empty sac, but I think the babe stopped growing somewhere around 8-10 weeks, so I am worried about that happening again, despite the fact that I know the odds are indeed against that.

Please update us when you know more!

[2happymamas]

Our baby is beautiful! Granted, all we could see was a little ball, but it was a beautiful dot. Best of all, the little dot had a heartbeat! We even have two pictures.

I am 5 weeks, 5 days. The heartbeat often does not show until six weeks, so we are great. The sac actually measured 6 weeks, 2 days. Nice, huh?

We have another ultrasound in three weeks. They said to bring a blank video tape and we can have our baby on tape!

[JenInMpls]

yayayayayay

[KnittingTigers]

Originally Posted by 2happymamas

Our baby is beautiful! Granted, all we could see was a little ball, but it was a beautiful dot. Best of all, the little dot had a heartbeat! We even have two pictures.

I am 5 weeks, 5 days. The heartbeat often does not show until six weeks, so we are great. The sac actually measured 6 weeks, 2 days. Nice, huh?

We have another ultrasound in three weeks. They said to bring a blank video tape and we can have our baby on tape!

Yay!!! I'm so, so, so very happy for you!

[JenInMpls]

whiner girl

my son woke us up around 5:30 and has been up acting like a freak and making loud noises since then (and I have been up with him)

my wife went back to sleep and got 2 extra hours

she is desperate for some lovin' but it's not so much that my libido has died, it's that at 8 every evening, when she's thinking affection, I'm thinking sleep, have heartburn and feel like I want to throw up which I think doesn't bode well for a minimum of an hour awake in the dark.

And there is no possibility for a nap during the day.

My wife complains about how tired she is and I just want to smack her. Every morning she gets out of a bed that she is in BY HERSELF, takes a 10+ minute shower BY HERSELF, gets dressed BY HERSELF without a child running at and grabbing her a** (yes, my child seems obsessed with my bum, whenever he sees me changing clothes he runs around me, situates himself behind me and hugs my bum), leaves the house, rides on a bus BY HERSELF and goes to her office downtown and works all day and gets to go out and pick out a lunch that someone else made and eat it BY HERSELF. All day she doesn't have to wipe someone else's butt, prepare food, get beaten on and scratched and hit, deal with tantrums and try to find something to occupy the time that pleases the small person.

My kid keeps picking on the poor cat, who just wants to mind her business and look out the window, and I just want to smack HIM because that's my CAT. Stop messing with my CAT.

Of course, I will smack neither of them, as I don't believe in smacking people around, but the urge is there because I am so tired and in such a foul mood.

Anyone got something nice to say to perk me up? *pouty*

waah, jen

[JenInMpls]

sheesh, just call me thread-killah.

[rightkindofme]

Originally Posted by JenInMpls

Anyone got something nice to say to perk me up? *pouty*
waah, jen

Uhm... the highlight of my day yesterday was talking my partner into popping the enormous, disgusting zit on my ass so I can sit down without wanting to cry.

Probably too much information, but that's all I've got...