how can I gently encourage someone?

[Can Dance]

I know this lady who is still bfing her 7 month old. however, she still does it with a blanket. I have no problems with blankets, except it seems that her child has problems with blankets. so now she wants to wean. she was talking about formula last night. any suggestions about how to encourage her to that year mark? I know its her last baby and for being a main stream mama, 7 months is a heckuvalong time....
thanks!

[MaryJaneLouise]

Is NIP without a blanket the problem? You might need to gently find out what the real barriers to her continuing are.

This site has some good info on bfing for past a year. It might help her with her decision. Ultimately, of course, it is her decision, although as her friend you can be a great information source, and a source of moral support.

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/bfextended/ebf-benefits.html

[FREEmom1120]

I'm guessing it's the issue of being in public. Are they out and about that often?...

Maybe encourage her to bring a bottle of pumped milk when they go out but still nurse when they're home together. I know it's not the best option, and might mess with her supply, but it's something. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

[Can Dance]

well she said she got rid of her old good pump, so she doesn't want to pursue that. so it sounds like it really is formula or nothing.
its so depressing to me that she feels so pressured to cover herself that she will wean her baby over it

[tubulidentata2]

I don't know if there is any way to encourage her without her becoming defensive, since breastfeeding is such a touchy subject for many people. Maybe some good communicators will give you some good ideas. Maybe you could let her know about a great probiotic to supplement the formula in order to restore the gut flora. Perhaps if you offer it in a helpful way, as if you are only trying to help her come up with the best diet for her child, she may ask why the probiotics are necessary. Then you could explain how formula changes the gut flora, and why that is undesirable. Probiotics seem to be pretty trendy these days, so she might just think of it as equivalent to you offering a good multivitamin recommendation.

[Can Dance]

yeah, I was kind of thinking of the health benefits route. I know before 6 months formula can be really detrimental to health, but I know it closes after 6 months, or does it mostly close? basically what can I play up health wise with cold hard facts? I think I can sneak that kind of stuff in any conversation, no I won't be preachy, but I think I can go about it. and I won't do it unless the conversation comes up.
she is definitely a "hider" she goes to the balcony of church so no one can see her nursing under a blanket during the service. sigh. I really wish I could help her. I nurse my toddler in front of her, well I have a few times. I am sure I freaked her out, but dd2 was very well mannered when she asked.

[Mommy2Austin]

Has she tried an actual nursing cover? One designed for nursing mommas who want privacy like this...http://www.target.com/First-Years-Br...e=1&rh=&page=1 or http://shop.bebeaulait.com/shop/hhnc/chocolat#

Might make things easier than a regular blanket.

[FREEmom1120]

I have a friend who uses a men's button down shirt for a cover. She wears it backwards (doesn't put her arms through the sleeves). Buttons the top button behind her neck. The button is secure so the baby can't pull off the cover, unlike some covers with velcro that easily comes loose. That's a really inexpensive way to cover since her dh probably has a shirt laying around he'd be willing to give up so they didn't have to spend so much money on formula.

You might want to consider that she actually does want to wean and is using the blanket thing as her reason.

[MaryJaneLouise]

Originally Posted by Can Dance

yeah, I was kind of thinking of the health benefits route. I know before 6 months formula can be really detrimental to health, but I know it closes after 6 months, or does it mostly close? basically what can I play up health wise with cold hard facts?

Absolutely, formula still is detrimental even after 6 months. The link I provided has some "cold hard facts" even in one year olds. So I know formula would be even riskier in an under one year old.

Again, you might gently try to get to the real reason why she is considering weaning. It's not always what a person says first. Though it really might be .

[MarcyC]

I posted our story about having the flu - the whole family except the baby and I credit that to breastmilk. I'm a low supply pumping mom to a tongue- and lip-tied baby, but every bit of breastmilk helps. At seven months, maybe she could offer a bottle of formula when they are out (assuming hopefully they aren't out all that often) and she could still bf at home.

[JessBB]

At around 8-9 months my ds began mothers' day out once a week. I used up my freezer stash and then just sent formula as I HATE pumping and never responded well, anyway. When he was with sitters (maybe 5x total between 8 mo and 1 year) he had formula as well. He's now 13.5 months and we are still nursing. Maybe you can keep your friend from seeing it as an all-or-nothing equation. Besides, with a 7 month old, it's pretty easy to manage to not NIP and still pretty much exclusively bf'ing.

[mama24-7]

If it would help, I had won a nursing cover from a drawing from last year's World Breastfeeding Week that I never redeemed because I know I wouldn't use it & wouldn't want to give it away as a gift because I don't want others to think they *have* to use it. If your friend wants it, she can have it. I'd just have to order it. It's from this website - you or she could even pick out which one! http://www.caydencreations.com/products.html

Your friend is lucky to have you. I agree w/ the PP'ers who said maybe try to find out what is her reason behind not wanting to NIP or if she may really want to wean & be using that as her reason. The other thing you could remind her of if it's applicable & won't put her off is that the WHO recommends bf'ing for at least 2 years, all the world over.

LMK if you want the cover for her - just PM me.

Sus

[elanorh]

If this is the longest she's nursed, you may want to let her know that this distractibility will go away - it's just a phase that babies go through. And mention how you got through it with yours ....

I have an acquaintance who bf'd her first 'til he was over a year (about 1 1/2) and used a blanket the whole time (!) .... I wanted to encourage her that she didn't have to use a blanket, and mentioned that my girls just hated blankets, and I found nursing tops easier for keeping covered in public. Your friend may be interested in those, if she isn't interested in the nursing capes mentioned.

And, yes, she may be looking for an "out" to quit bfing. If her dh is not supportive, and/or disapproves of NIP, then when babe gets so much more assertive, she may be getting more pressure to stop. If you feel comfortable, you may be able to just say, "You know, making it this long is a great accomplishment, and if you're really ready to quit, you know it. But if you want to try to make it for the full year, here are some ideas ...."

I had a friend who thought she 'had' to wean at a year - she did so cold turkey to her oldest. She told me she was dreading weaning her second; and I told her she didn't have to. She did unintentional MLW and was very happy to have bf'd 'til he was 14 months, and felt really good about how it went.