Dairy alternatives for super picky 4 yo?

[tooticky]

Ds has something going on (dry, itchy skin, occasional hives, lots of ear infections, stomach aches, very restless sleep, spends a long time straining on the toilet) and I would like to see if eliminating dairy helps him out.

We've been using raw milk for the past 6 weeks, and it doesn't seem to have helped. In fact, I think he became itchier if anything. He does still get a bit of pasteurized yogurt and butter.
So I'm thinking of taking the painful plunge and eliminating his dairy.

BUT, he's an incredibly picky eater (I mentioned that he's 4, right !).

I'm concerned about him getting enough protein and calcium because he refuses meat, most beans (he will sometimes eat hummous), and will not drink juice (fortified oj, for example).

Any suggestions for preschooler-friendly protein/calcium sources? He really seems to crave milk - wants glass after glass of it. I'd like to avoid soy as a replacement...

Thanks!

[Narn]

How does he feel about greens? Broccoli has calcium.

Vanilla rice milk?

[tooticky]

Bad!

He won't touch them. I have tried hiding them in shakes and other foods, but the quantity that I can get away with is so low that I don't think it makes much difference.

[dawncayden]

What about trying Goat milk? Ds is allergic to cow dairy but can have goat milk, yogurt and cheese.
Safeway sells a brand that tastes exactly like cow milk, so he might not know the difference.

[tooticky]

Oh! I could try that....

I recently bought some goat yogurt for dd. I tried a bit and thought it was horrible so I just assumed that the milk was goaty too.

I'm bummed because I've just gone through the trouble to get this raw milk. I guess the rest of us could still drink it....

[tooticky]

Rice milk is an option for the calcium, but it's pretty low in protein. I'm worried that if I remove dairy from his diet, his protein intake will plummet since he no longer wants to eat meat.

I wonder if he would want meat again if he wasn't getting the protein from dairy?

[dawncayden]

I should mention that we tried many brands of goat milk, and they were too 'feta-ish' but this ONE brand from Safeway has made me love goatmilk. It is Oak Island Acres and is $2.99/litre

[tooticky]

Thanks Dawn! I'll check it out...

[flowmom]

tooticky, ds is also extremely picky. I did an elimination diet with him when he was 2 and I thought he'd starve to death because we eliminated all of his daily foods. But he didn't starve of course, he just started to make different food choices. For the first couple of weeks, don't worry about having a nutritionally perfect diet, just focus on getting him fed. Then once you are in the routine of the diet you can look at whether there are nutrional gaps. Calcium isn't actually that scarce in most diets, and because you are taking clo, he shouldn't be having absorption issues. Ds isn't a big fan of veggies, but I find that a lot of it is in how they're presented. What we're doing lately is starting dinner with a veggie course, so that there aren't any foods that are more immediately appealing and distracting. When the whole family is chowing down on steamed brocolli or steamed asparagus or steamed artichoke, ds usually joins in happily. There are many veggies that he won't eat but I've kept trying and have found some. They cannot be mixed with anything or have any sauce, except that often ds like to dip things in balsamic cream (pretty sugary though). Fresh goat milk isn't too goaty, but 50% of children who have cow dairy issues also have goat dairy issues - I would recommend avoiding all cow and goat dairy in a very strict way of you really want answers. You can always test goat dairy later. I found Almond Breeze to be the most acceptable non-dairy milk. You can also make your own nut milks very economically. Going dairy-free is totally do-able and there are tons of food blogs that can help you out . For example, the vegan lunch box (look in archives) has lots of child-friendly food (OK, it's true that ds wouldn't eat most of it but still) - that you can add meat to if you wish .

[sea island mama]

We did a complete dairy (& wheat) elimination for about a year when ds was about 14-26 months old. It was really hard at first, but we did get used to it...dairy just wasn't an option, so we found other things. My kids love soy yogurt & I think it's better than most soy options as it is 'cultured' & according to Dr. Mercola, cultured soy is ok. I personally can't stand the flavour of soy in anything, but my kids don't seem to notice the difference or don't care. They still eat it, usually a couple of times a day, as we still try to minimize the dairy.

We also usually only have rice milk in the house. It is quite sweet, so it is good on cereal, but does taste different from cow's milk to drink it straight. If your ds likes chocolate milk, maybe you could sub it in there.

We never had a problem with protein as my kids both love their meat! What about eggs (which my kids won't eat), tuna (which they love), fish, chili?

I can't think of anything else right now, but I hope this helps a bit. I'll let you know if I think of anything else - it's been a while!

[kjbrown92]

My kids will eat almost any vegetable if it's dipped in ketchup (carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, green beans) - sounds gross to me, but it gets the vegetables in them (and extra vegetable in the ketchup).

Have you tried various meats various ways. My DD has many food intolerances and she does a lot of protein (she can't do eggs or beans). She likes spinach and salmon (baked or fried), she doesn't like any other kind of fish. But she likes bacon (great finger food) and sausage dipped in maple syrup, meatballs (she can't have the sauce, but I bake them then warm them in chicken broth) made with hamburger or ground turkey, chicken and gravy over rice (she'll eat a ton of that) or homemade chicken noodle soup (bone broths are great for calcium). Our pediatrician also recommended 1 Children's Pepto a day (it's calcium carbonate, smaller version of Tums, without the cornstarch) for calcium. My DD drinks a ton of enriched Rice Dream (vanilla). My DS doesn't like the rice milk except with strawberry Quik (yuk) or on cereal. I tried him on Raw milk. It didn't work for him either, sadly.

good luck. I have lots of dairy free recipes on my blog, in case you need inspiration.

Kathy

[krankedyann]

I agree with the ppers- once we eliminated the allergens, my children's diets opened up and they started eating all sorts of things they had never eaten before.

[flowmom]

Also, in the deal of the year department, the best book that I've read on food intolerances is on sale for $0.97 + shipping:
Core diet for kids (Paperback) by Stephen J Gislason (Author) ( vancouverlori)
It's old and out of print but it has tons of useful information about how food intolerances manifest themselves, and how to go about identifying them. I think that if you are going to invest the time and energy to do an elimination diet, it worth reading that book. There's lots of info in it about dairy issues, in particular. Good luck!

[artparent]

we can also handle goat dairy, but not cow's milk...but i based that on tests we trusted. i'm sorry to hear raw isn't working for him. i struggled for years without knowing what was bothering me, and finally got testing done with hal brown. i got my children done with him too because i knew how hard it was to figure it out on my own. i know ksenia and tiffani have followed other tests. i would do that...because when i was vegan, i was helping my body in terms of avoiding cow dairy, but hurting it because i was eating soy, and making almond milk, neither of which i could tolerate. i also didn't see immediate effects from foods until i eliminated wheat...now i have an abrupt reaction to corn or onions, for example, and for a long time i could tell if i'd eaten cow's milk. before i just had chronic eczema and some asthma. it may be difficult for you to tell what is causing the problem! i used to be sensitive to things like rice and garbanzos. i just never would have guessed!

cashews and almonds can be soaked and made into nutmilk...almonds have 300% the calcium when you sprout them! cashews are easy because they don't need to be strained. my little girl is sensitive to almonds, though

i would be looking to vegetable sources. i have a friend with a wicked book on hiding veg in things you just would never think! i could get the title if you like.

good luck!
*

[tooticky]

Wow! Thank you all so much for the suggestions and info. Having him tested would probably be helpful. I think he's getting to an age where testing is more accurate... Is that right?

I've just requested the Core Diet For Kids from our library...

artparent: the milk is definitely great for the rest of us! His increased itching could be from other causes. It's so hard to be sure what is going on.

I'm also wondering if it makes sense to try switching laundry soaps and doing extra rinses for a while to see if that helps. Probably an easier first step than trying to change his diet. My instincts tell me that it's dairy though.

I'm also not looking forward to convincing dh of this! He's a bit, shall we say, mainstream? He thinks all my theories are a bit wacky...

[vancouverlori]

Originally Posted by tooticky

I wonder if he would want meat again if he wasn't getting the protein from dairy?

Yes!

Originally Posted by kjbrown92

Our pediatrician also recommended 1 Children's Pepto a day (it's calcium carbonate, smaller version of Tums, without the cornstarch) for calcium.

That's ok as long as it's not got bismuth subsalicylate - an aspirin-related drug that is the active ingredient in most pepto-bismol formulations. I guess if it's just "Pepto" it's not got the "bismol" in it... I just have a feeling it's not available in Canada - I haven't heard of it (I'm a pharmacist), but I do work in a really small pharmacy, so a big place might have it.

Originally Posted by Ksenia

Also, in the deal of the year department, the best book that I've read on food intolerances is on sale for $0.97 + shipping:
Core diet for kids (Paperback) by Stephen J Gislason (Author) ( vancouverlori)

And if you e-mail me right now, I can send you a summary I typed up to help me figure out how to *do* the Core diet. For only 3 easy payments of zero dollars and zero cents! And we'll even throw in a free DiaperFreeBaby sig! What I really like about the book is that it gives you a short and manageable list of foods you CAN eat, which have been shown to be least likely to cause allergy and sensitivity reactions in kids. I made a bunch of "food cards" for myself, to help me visually see what we were going to be eating, and balance it all out. It actually made cooking really super simple - a definite side benefit.

Of course my kid was the one who reacted to yams (jewel sweet potatoes) and I knew b/c he would eat 2 or even 3 at a sitting if we let him - a sure sign. But then, MIL is allergic to rice (and corn, but not wheat), DH is also allergic to yams, as well as squash, which BIL is also allergic to, in addition to yellow (but not green) bananas.

Thanks in part to this diet, we have determined that DS reacts to: all fruit so far except pears and cooked peaches, this includes cucumber, tomato, all peppers (including paprika - so nothing that says "spices"), MSG, soy, Sodium Benzoate (the only preservative proven to cause hyperactivity), dairy, beets, said yams, and about a million other things that I can't remember just now. My coworkers like to say that he'll never die of a heart attack.

Originally Posted by artparent

almonds have 300% the calcium when you sprout them!

Alright - conservation of matter - unless you've discovered a very convenient form of low-energy fusion, the calcium in the almonds may be 3X more available (by reducing absorption-blocking anti-nutrients?), but not 300% more calcium. But I still think it's a great idea - I guess it has to be raw almonds - where do you get yours? 'Cuz we're dairy free over here, and while I do like to eat my fair share of almonds, my nails are all peely and weak, and I'm taking anti-androgens, AND I'm pretty sedentary, so I really need to get on that Calcium bandwagon, or I'll be about a foot shorter in 30 years.

Oh, and apparently, the reason that you shouldn't worry too much about the calcium in milk: the more protein you eat, the more calcium your body excretes via the kidneys to balance out the protein metabolites. Because dairly is so high in protein, you actually don't gain that much calcium from it. Diet for a New America has more details on this one.

And protein - never fear. All foods have protein. All of them. If it was once alive, it has to have some protein in it. Grains have less protein than other vegetable sources (with varying amounts of protein depending on the grain), but some veggies do have more than others, like beans and nuts and seeds. I'm not vegan by any means, but I'm trying to focus more on veggie sources of protein, for the good of our arteries and the world.

[vancouverlori]

Originally Posted by tooticky

I'm also not looking forward to convincing dh of this! He's a bit, shall we say, mainstream? He thinks all my theories are a bit wacky...

When you get the book, have him read anything at the beginning that you think he might tolerate reading.

You will absolutely have to convince DH (and the rest of the family) that there must be NO dairy in the house. Otherwise your child will whine from dawn 'til dusk. If you do go as far as the Core Diet, it's best to put the whole family on the diet, at least while at home, and at least for the first 4-6 weeks. The good news is it really is super healthy. And because you can use basic kitchen herbs (but not spices) like oregano and basil, things actually can taste quite good. If you need it, I can pass you my recipe for super-yummy chicken porcupine meatballs. Be more generous than usual with the salt, though, because our palates are used to the huge amounts of salt in prepared foods and sauces and everything will taste blah without it. Salt is good for you! Especially when recovering from long-term allergic reactions (adrenal fatigue issues...)

[artparent]

diet for a new america is one of the books that led me to 15 years of vegetarianism...and one being vegan. there may be protein in all foods, but i don't believe it is enough for many people. i need a LOT of protein to keep my blood sugar and energy level stable. i worry a lot about my veg family...but two of them are A blood types and they do seem just fine after lentils + rice + vegetables, where i am crashing and can't cope the next day.

point taken about the almonds! yes, raw to sprout them. i like westonaprice.org for information about preparing foods, soaking them, etc, to increase digestibility/bioavailability.

i used coconut milk and virgin coconut oil quite a bit when i was vegan. cashews can be made into creamy thing if he has cravings for those, too.

when we were tested, 3 out of 4 of us could still have goat and sheep dairy, which opens up a ton of cheese and milk options. we couldn't have sugar but stevia is well loved around here. try nutraways near you. and we could still have cow butter, though i've seen goat butter $$$ available.

it may depend on your child, how he reacts emotionally. it helped for us to have doctor telling us, rather than just mama, and my child is incredibly amenable to being told, sorry, that's going to hurt your tummy. i don't know many people who would be so thrilled to have her own mango while the other kids ate birthday cake! but she is still pretty easy going about this stuff at 7, though she can now eat most things....we've had to talk more about why not to, anyway! the green rice crispy squares, for instance

*

[tooticky]

You know what is interesting (in a bad way ) to me? The fact that all of the doctors my kids have seen, and even dh to some extent, see these signs of allergy or sensitivity and don't say anything beyond: Oh, he's itchy. Oh, she has excema.

I'm feeling a bit annoyed that no one else is interested in finding a solution, and that I'm going to have to spend a lot of time convincing dh that there is a problem! His solution is to just give ds benadryl before bed. :

Granted, their symptoms are relatively minor at this point (although I wonder if dd's wheezing problems over the past year would have been alleviated by some dietary changes) but they're still uncomfortable for the kids.

Just a little rant! Sorry...

[tooticky]

I think ds will react well to being told that if he eats certain foods he'll be itchy.... I think so....

I need to organize myself a bit better before undertaking this so that I am clear about what I will serve, and how to address preschool snack, eating at friend's houses, etc. I did a total elimination diet for a couple of months last summer and was just too brain dead to get much information from it. It was also quite expensive to replace most of the things I normally use for cooking.

I'm vegetarian and would be quite happy if my kids were too. DH's family history is chock full of cholesterol and heart problems and it would be great to get ds off on the right foot, diet wise, to try to avoid some of this.

I think I'll read the materials you have suggested and come up with a game plan. I will also ask our family doctor for a referral for allergy testing for ds.

Thank you all again for passing along your wisdom!