best age for extended travel/moving?

[sphinx]

Hi all. My dd is 8 and her little brother is 3. I am hoping to do some extended travel with them, starting with a year, then deciding if we want/need to go longer, with the intention of finding a new place to settle, which i presume will be far away from where we are now. I am talking about slow, alternative travel through europe, asia, south america, staying in ecovilllages for a couple of weeks or months at a time, working and learning, so we're not talking hotels and restaurants and sightseeing in the traditional sense.

We will probably leave here when dd is 11 and ds is 6. Then I think we will have a window to travel for 2 or 3 years, because i have the sense that settling somewhere will become more important for dd at or before the age of 14. As parents of preteens and teens, can you share with me a little bit about your experiences and feelings of when/whether it is important for the children to feel a sense of permanence somewhere and maybe some ideas about how you might undertake such a journey, based on what you know now about your children? I think this kind of travel will meet some of my children's needs for a sense of community because they will be interacting with people and becoming part of their world for a stretch of time. What do you think? Any similar experiences would be great to hear, too!!

thanks for any and all insight!

[sphinx]

bump!

[AlpineMama]

No advice, but can I come with you? It sounds like fun.

Seriously though, I'm interested in seeing the responses.

[sphinx]

me too, if there are any! please people... whaddya think?

and yes, you can come along.

[quantumleap]

Not a parent of pre-teens/teens, but my parents did this with my sister and I when we were 8/9 and 6/7, and it was AMAZING. We were perhaps a little young to fully appreciate what we were experiencing, but at the same time, it was a perfect age. My parents went out of their way to connect us with local history and culture, and I really think it was formative for both of us. My little sister just got back from a year teaching at an international school in Berlin, with plans for more of the same. I have lived, worked and studied in West Africa and Latin America, married an African, and am in the middle of an international adoption with plans to move to Central America. My parents and little brother (he came after the travel year!) now live in Central Africa and my brother has had some amazing experiences travelling in that region. They moved there when he was 12 (he's now 14), and the move was tough on him.
We moved a lot when I was 11 - 15 (all across Canada), and, frankly, it sucked. Looking back, it was a positive thing in terms of development, but it was really hard. My sister was close in age to me, and our relationship was really the primary one. We always had someone to refer to, to eat lunch with in a strange place, to do new and potentially scary things with... I think it might be harder for your two because they have a larger age gap. On the other hand, that age gap means that the older can do "young" things without feeling foolish because she's "just keeping her sibling company", and the younger might get different opportunities by virtue of the older's presence.
One of my best friends in university spent the years between 11 and 16 in Central America, and is one of the most interesting people I have ever met. Those are such formative years, and if kids spend those years living and working out of their comfort zones, I really think good things happen. As long as parents can provide a framework and support as the kids navigate the journey.

What an incredible thing you are going to do for your kids. I want to come too!

All the best.

[UUMom]

I don't think age is or should be an issue. Each age and each individual will have their own personal and unique experience.

[xixstar]

sounds like a great plan and probably a wonderful experience for your family. I was going to do this with dd a couple years ago (mostly in SE asia for a couple years) but decided against it because we'd already moved basically every year and we were getting to a point that she needed consistency because of the lack of it, not because of her age. I then wished we hadn't moved so much prior to that so that we could have traveled abroad extensively, but knew it was best to set some roots instead.

I agree with it's about knowing your children.

[sphinx]

Thanks for the responses. I agree that it depends on each personality how they will experience the travel, but I also have a sense that there is a certain age/stage across the board when children really do want to be settled. I just think of the time during which I made the friends that have lasted into adulthood, and when i needed that security of having my circle and feeling like I belonged in the city where I lived. For me that time was probably from 13 to 17 - but i was always dreaming of traveling, so i think that period may be longer for some others. I am a little worried about my dd. We moved once across the ocean, when she was 4, and she's still a bit traumatized by it 4 years later, and still doesn't feel our new place is home - which is, however, one of the main reasons I want to do the trip -- I don't want to stay here either, and I think we can find a place we all want to call home.

DD is highly sensitive and daily life is hard for her. She is very adaptable when we travel, in fact it seems more adaptable than in daily life. I''m hoping that such an adventure will help her learn to draw on her inner resourcefulness and find strength in herself. My son, he'll adapt anywhere as long as he can talk everyone''s ear off while he's there...

Selkat, your experience sounds amazing. I'm wondering about things like maintaining each child's interests. Dd plays the piano. I can't exactly carry a piano around the world and i definitely don't want her to give up this important aspect of her life. How did your family deal with that kind of stuff?