Separation or infection?

[spudisle]

I am worried about our 4.5 year old. He woke this morning and had to pee as usual, however, he refused to go, saying that his penis was sore. We looked at it and it was red, and (?) let's say puffier than usual. There appeared to be a little yellowish discharge as well.

We ran a warm bath with a tablespoon of epsom salts and let him sit in it. He was obviously uncomfortable so we just kept reassuring him that the pee needed to come out and that it was okay to pee in the tub. Finally, after about 10min, he peed a fair amount while standing up. I saw no other evidence of discharge. I held him for awhile as I was drying him off and he said that it felt a little better.

It has been almost four hours (and two glasses of orange juice)later, and I believe he has to go pee again, but he is reluctant. I had him stand in the bathroom to have a look, and there was a bit of discharge dried to the tip of his penis, as well as evidence of some dried in his underpants

I am so hoping that this is just normal separation, but I can't help but be worried. What are the signs of infection that I should be looking for? How long should I wait before going to the doctor? I am very reluctant to go because I am afraid that I am going to get an earful. He hasn't seen a doctor since he was about 2 and that was just for a yearly checkup. I stopped taking him after I was lectured about not vaxing, blah, blah, blah. He is rarely ever sick, although we have all been sick in the house for the past two weeks. I am putting all the blame on myself because he hadn't had a bath in over a week until he had one Friday night

He has never been retracted by anyone other than himself, and that I have only seen him do in the last 5 or 6 months, as I assume he is just learning about how he has this really neat piece of equipment attached to himself and that it feels nice to touch. I couldn't guess how much he can retract, but I could see most of the glans. I am so afraid of going to the doctor, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by spudisle

I am worried about our 4.5 year old. He woke this morning and had to pee as usual, however, he refused to go, saying that his penis was sore. We looked at it and it was red, and (?) let's say puffier than usual. There appeared to be a little yellowish discharge as well.

So far the things you describe sound like the foreskin is separating from the glands. This happens in different ways and at different rates for different boys at different ages. This process may or may not include soreness and some discomfort along with possible discharge of smegma. Any soreness or discomfort should abate within 24 to 48 hours and may reoccur from time to time as the separation process doesn't always occur in one go. Different sections may free themselves at different times (This is in part how the multiple infection myth got started and persists).

Originally Posted by spudisle

We ran a warm bath with a tablespoon of epsom salts and let him sit in it. He was obviously uncomfortable so we just kept reassuring him that the pee needed to come out and that it was okay to pee in the tub. Finally, after about 10min, he peed a fair amount while standing up. I saw no other evidence of discharge. I held him for awhile as I was drying him off and he said that it felt a little better.

A warm bath is a good idea and usually helps. There is usually a recent thread (with substantial content) that discusses this issue such as this thread , this thread, and this thread. Follow some of the links provided in those threads and there will also be a few other posters who might be able to provide more details. Dr. Fleiss's article also discusses it further.

Originally Posted by spudisle

It has been almost four hours (and two glasses of orange juice)later, and I believe he has to go pee again, but he is reluctant. I had him stand in the bathroom to have a look, and there was a bit of discharge dried to the tip of his penis, as well as evidence of some dried in his underpants

It may take a day or two for this to resolve itself; the discharge is likely smegma and not something to be concerned about.

Originally Posted by spudisle

I am so hoping that this is just normal separation, but I can't help but be worried. What are the signs of infection that I should be looking for? How long should I wait before going to the doctor? I am very reluctant to go because I am afraid that I am going to get an earful. He hasn't seen a doctor since he was about 2 and that was just for a yearly checkup. I stopped taking him after I was lectured about not vaxing, blah, blah, blah. He is rarely ever sick, although we have all been sick in the house for the past two weeks. I am putting all the blame on myself because he hadn't had a bath in over a week until he had one Friday night

I think it is just normal separation. Don't worry about getting worried; there are many posters who come by with the same concern (See linked threads). It's just that they didn't know what to expect. Some have other intact boys who never had this problem and that is just because we are all a little different. Not all boys go through this separation issue and those who do, go through it with different levels of discomfort. For example, I don't recall going through it nor do I recall brothers going through it. And though I do usually wash daily, I tend to do a lot of backpacking and have had stretches of up to a week plus without really washing; it has never led to any problems. (Until I got back to town. )

Originally Posted by spudisle

He has never been retracted by anyone other than himself, and that I have only seen him do in the last 5 or 6 months, as I assume he is just learning about how he has this really neat piece of equipment attached to himself and that it feels nice to touch. I couldn't guess how much he can retract, but I could see most of the glans. I am so afraid of going to the doctor, so any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Bottom line just keep an eye on it; some boys, but by no means all, go through this. If it doesn't abate within about 48 hours or so or gets noticeably worse you may want to investigate further. (Yeast, Bacterial Infection, or irritation due to soaps used on clothes or body just to name a few possibilities) If you were to end up in the Doctor's office a clean catch urine sample and a culture should be done to rule in or out an actual infection, though I doubt that is what it is.

Hope this helps. Keep us posted we are here to help out.

[LavenderMae]

Baking soda baths really help and are soothing too! I'd jsut keep an eye on it for the next few days and if it doesn't get better or gets worse I'd re-evaluate then.

[spudisle]

Thank you both so much for the kind words, advice and links to more info. I spent some time reading and am feeling a lot better about things. I was pretty worked up this morning

He has peed twice since I last wrote. I noticed there is still a little dried discharge on the tip before each pee. He said it doesn't hurt for the pee to come out. I asked him later how his penis feels. He says that it feels "almost all better", poor guy.

I'll try the baking soda tub tonight and will keep you posted. Thanks again for your encouragement

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by spudisle

Thank you both so much for the kind words, advice and links to more info. I spent some time reading and am feeling a lot better about things. I was pretty worked up this morning

He has peed twice since I last wrote. I noticed there is still a little dried discharge on the tip before each pee. He said it doesn't hurt for the pee to come out. I asked him later how his penis feels. He says that it feels "almost all better", poor guy.

I'll try the baking soda tub tonight and will keep you posted. Thanks again for your encouragement

Like I said don't sweat it. It's certainly natural to be overly concerned; he's your little boy. Plus there isn't as much information easily available as there should be and many US medical professionals seem ignorant with respect to this issue. So now you know a bit more and if it occurs again you'll be ready or rather if you see someone else running in to the same problem you'll be speaking from experience.

[carriebft]

great posts Jwhispers! Nothing to add but wanted to offer a and I hope he feels better soon!

[spudisle]

Just wanted to update:

It's been 48 hours and all is well! Redness, swelling, pain GONE :

Thanks again to all who responded and helped set my mind at ease. I am so grateful for MDC!

[Fellow Traveler]

Originally Posted by spudisle

Just wanted to update:

It's been 48 hours and all is well! Redness, swelling, pain GONE :

Thanks again to all who responded and helped set my mind at ease. I am so grateful for MDC!

Great to hear; you're welcome.

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by spudisle

Just wanted to update:

It's been 48 hours and all is well! Redness, swelling, pain GONE :

I'm so glad to hear all is well! This is the typical course of events in the vast majority of these cases of suspected infections.

Just to reinterate for other mothers and for lurkers, these suspected infections are most often not infections at all. Even if it does turn out to be an infection, the genital infections boys get are the exact same infections girls get and are appropriately treated with the same exact medications. The prognosis for successful treatment are at least as good for boys as girls.

Should it be an actual infection, these are simply minor skin irritations early on and are not a cause for panic despite what our culture or the myth of the infected foreskin tells you. It is only when they are left untreated for long periods that they become serious health issues. 24 or 48 hours certainly do not qualify as "long periods."

Are there times when you should jump to immediate action? Yes, if there are signs of difficulty urinating as in the child not being able to completely void or fever, yes, the child should be taken for immediate professional medical care. Otherwise, it is appropriate to watch the symptoms for a day or two. If the symptoms subside in that period, it can be safely assumed that there was no actual infection or that the child's immune system took care of the infection and banished it.

These suspected infections have often resulted in post natal circumcisions. That is a result of the myths of the foreskin being a naturally problematic body part. Even when the child becomes completely well with little or no medical intervention, doctors will prescribe circumcision "to prevent future reoccurances." Would we allow the same treatment for our daughters for the same exact infections?


Frank