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A Perfect Conversation

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
We have a set of friends that are fun to hang around with but I don’t really like to talk about my lifestyle with them since they are very medical people. The guy is studying to be a doctor. So we had them over for supper a couple weeks ago and I never in a million years thought vaccines would come up but what do I know lol.

About half way through dinner, he asked what the well baby visit schedule is like. I said we went at 3 days because of the homebirth then at 4 weeks, 8 weeks and 6 months. He asked why we skipped the 4 month visit because a lot of vaccines are given during that one. I said that we were scheduled wrong to avoid the topic and at the exact same time my proud DH said “We don’t vaccinate!” My mind started racing and I was trying to rack my brain for any info I can remember.

The guy asked why we didn’t vaccinate and my DH told him there were too many vaccines on the schedule and we aren’t comfortable with that. He explained when we were kids, we only got 10 doses and now, kids get 36 doses before age 5. The girl then asked if we were home schooling because DS can’t go to school without vaccines. I said that is a common myth and that you can get an exemption if you feel your personal beliefs go against vaccinating. She was very annoyed because she just signed up to go back to school after a 10 year break and had to get 2 or 3 shots to get in. She said if she had known that, she would not have gotten the shots. I just pointed out the fact that vaccines are not well researched and we do not feel comfortable with the ingredients. I then gave them my little “anti-vax” business cards that have the ingredients on one side and a few resources on the other. They were very surprised and thanked me saying they would for sure check out these resources because they had no idea about anything we were telling them!!! The guy then asked if we could go to another country to get the “important” ones like polio and MMR so we wouldn’t mess up our exemption. I said that we technically could go but we really aren’t worried about these diseases and gave some reasons why.

I am so happy to have such a civil conversation with a med student. I didn’t expect it and I am so happy that he asked now because I got to expose him to a view he has never seen.

Has this ever happened to anyone? I was fully expecting a heated discussion once it came up and instead, they were all ears and even thanked me. I honestly believe he will look at the sources and look further into this issue.
post #2 of 13
That is great. Just great. He is still open minded apparently. Maybe when they (instructors) tell him about all the benefits of vaccines he'll show you the charts and how diseases have gone down after the vaccines came on the market and how much less of those diseases we see now...

Be ready!

You have put a bug in his ear and he'll be questioning you every time the issue comes up imo.

post #3 of 13
May I ask what the reasons were why you arent really worried about contracting diseases in other countries? That is a concern of mine in making the decision not to vacciante. Thank you!
post #4 of 13
Thread Starter 
Oh he was referring to us driving up to Canada to get the polio and MMR shot so that we would be covered and not mess up our religious exemption. Once you get a religious exemption, you can’t vaccinate at all. So he thought maybe we could go get the “important” ones up north.

As far as other not being afraid, well I am just not worried about polio. There has not been a case in the US in 30 years. The CDC pink book tells me that 95% of cases are asymptomatic. Of the 5% of cases that actually show symptoms, only 1% results in paralysis. It then states that “many persons with paralytic polio recover completely and, in most, muscle function returns to some degree. Weakness or paralysis still present 12 months after onset is usually permanent.” Coming into contact with polio is soooo rare and the chance showing symptoms and actually being paralyzed is just not a concern to me. I will admit that I really have no plans to travel to Africa or India where I know polio is well and active. It’s just not a goal of mine and if I was planning on relocating to a country with high polio rates, I might reconsider my risk/benefit ratio.

As far as the other diseases like mumps, measles and rubella….well I am really not afraid of these either. I have done research on all of these and know what to look for and how to treat it. Plus, I find that these are childhood illnesses that should be contracted during childhood so I would probably be relieved if DS did come down with one of these.

Gitti - you are right! I'm sure he will come back at some point with a bunch of literature from textbooks to challenge me. I am well prepared with my binder lol.
post #5 of 13
Wow....I want to live on whatever planet you're on! (no snark intended). I could only dream of having such an open-minded conversation.
post #6 of 13
I tend to avoid this topic entirely. Kudos to being prepared to discuss and provide information
post #7 of 13
I had a conversation with a nurse friend of mine that was very similar. I was shy about telling her that we don't plan to vax our LO. But she asked me flat out and when I told her she said "I don't blame you, I wouldn't either". She is very pro-circ (we have discussed it in the past) and I was shocked when said that.
post #8 of 13

Originally Posted by CanidFL View Post
I then gave them my little “anti-vax” business cards that have the ingredients on one side and a few resources on the other.
Do you happen to have a link to these or could you share your info so that I could make my own?
post #9 of 13
Thread Starter 

I emailed April from this website and she sent a bunch in the mail. Please note that they do have antifreeze listed as an ingredient. I understand this is false but I still give out the cards because I figure it gets people interested in the topic and researching...plus she has a lot of good info on her website.
post #10 of 13
Originally Posted by CanidFL View Post
Please note that they do have antifreeze listed as an ingredient. I understand this is false but I still give out the cards because I figure it gets people interested in the topic and researching.
Just like a doctor telling you vaccines are 100% risk free? What's a little lie in the grand scheme of things?
post #11 of 13
I can't tell if you're being serious or sarcastic. Would you mind editing so we'll know how to respond?


If you're serious, I'm disturbed (IMO, a lie is a lie).

If you're being sarcastic, I'm still disturbed since this comes across as more than a little snarky.
post #12 of 13
Canid, that is so awesome! I have never had a conversation like that. In fact, I tend to avoid the topic whenever possible, knowing that some people (even doctors at times) become filled with fear that their (vaccinated) child is going to catch a disease from my child. (Whenever someone brings up that concern, I tell them that if vaccines work, their child has nothing to worry about - and I say it in a nice way).
Thanks for the web address. I will look it up.
post #13 of 13
I had a conversation in the ER (I work as an RN part time) with a doc who's early 30s (like me) and we got on the subject. His son was involved in the study with the new rotavirus - and he felt that they had done a good thing. Then he started talking about how his wife worked with the deaf and some of them were deaf because their mom's got chicken pox while pregnant - then said that my kids were going to be the reason a kid was born deaf!

Wow. In general I really like this guy, but in this case - wow. I mean...this is the reason to me why getting the disease is better than getting the shot. If those women had gotten Chicken pox as kids then their children wouldn't be at risk of being born deaf. It's why I hope to find someone to give my kids chicken pox ASAP.

Conversation is good though. You never know whose mind you are going to change.
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