update
here's the update...sorry it took me so long. in the midst of all of this, i actually accepted a new job, resigned from my current job and both DS and I ended up with a horrible stomach bug (which I currently have, so update won't be too long).
The good news is that we LOVE DS's new school.
As for the old school, I heard from their corporate customer service a week and a half ago. She said they support breastfeeding and wouldn't want to derail a working mom's efforts to supply ebm to her baby. Lo and behold, there is no company policy prohibiting breast milk in the toddler room!). And at first I think the corporate rep didn't see what the big deal was about removing DS from the room to have his milk. As we talked more, it's like a light went off and she said that she didn't see why they just couldn't monitor the kid the same way they monitor kids with allergies. EXACTLY! She was very apologetic. She said she would be taking the situation back to discuss with company VPs.
I have mixed feelings though because I don't feel like there has been complete resolution. No mention made of a written apology from anyone, as we requested. I don't know if a formal company policy will come of this. I'm not even really sure what the next step is at this point. She made no mention of $ but I do feel like we should at least be reimbursed for the week that DS only attended 2 days and i was treated horribly by the director.
The good news is that we've gotten over feeling like our life is completely out of control, but if I talk about it too much, I get upset and angry, and honestly, I will still tell people that I would not recommend this company's services.