or Connect
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Circumcision - Page 2

post #21 of 91
I found a page with some videos on here.

*Viewer Discretion Advised*

I could not watch most of these, I broke down crying and I had to click out of them...
post #22 of 91
When I was pregnant with my son I thought I'd leave it up to my husband who saw no reason NOT to. Then one day I just was consumed with rage and this urge to protect my baby. I felt physically sick at the thought of them taking a knife to his penis. My baby! If I couldn't protect him then what did that say about me? I feel sick just remembering how it felt.

I began to bombard my husband with information about it and he agreed with me. It was a huge fight - not because he really wanted to do it but because he felt like I was being a bully. And I was. . I was just completely panicked.

ITA with whoever likened it to clitoral surgery or whatever. Can you feel in your gut the rage that comes when you imagine your husband giving a nod to a doctor to do that to your baby girl? It is no different.

Hugs to those who are working through this. It is very very hard.
post #23 of 91
Not for nothing, but I'm haunted by something my midwife said. People say it doesn't hurt the baby b/c they give anesthesia, but she says she has seen 100's of them done, and the baby always screams when he is cut.

She said, "Yeah, they're infants and they may forget the pain. But, you will also forget the pain of childbirth -- that doesn't mean it didn't hurt."

Not only that, but they have to be strapped down and that's almost worse - seeing a defenseless baby strapped down and someone coming at him with a scalpel...it makes my heart hurt.
post #24 of 91
My husband and I had also had this struggle. Our first two boys are circ'd.. mostly because I didn't have alot of knowledge on the subject and DH wanted to have it done. Every male that I had known, and every baby that I have ever babysat for had also been circ'd so it was all I knew. I asked the ped about it, he reassured me it was necessary and I allowed it to happen.

When I was pregnant with my third son, I was working with migrant babies and saw my first uncirc'd penis. I remember thinking how "beautiful" an uncirc'd penis looked, just as God had intended and I started to cry thinking about what I let happen to my boys.. I talked with the moms of the infants and asked them about ease of care, etc...

My husband was very adamant that my third son be circ'd. He was worried about what the older boys would think etc... I totally put my foot down and refused to have it done. We had many fights about it, but he finally just let it go. Now he sees that we have had a much easier time caring for Wyatt's baby bits than we ever did with the other two boys. My second son had repreated infections and was always raw on the tip. He also had some problems with the skin trying to reattach itself.

Sorry for the novel, but I wanted moms who were trying to decide to see how I have evolved in my thinking. My greatest regret as a mom so far is having my first two boys circ'd. It is something permanent that you can never undo and I feel very guilty about it still.
post #25 of 91
I'm lucky enough to have my husband on board with leaving any sons intact. I'm afraid I would be forced to divorce him if he tried to insist on unneccessary cosmetic surgery for a newborn baby.
post #26 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamsInDigital View Post
I'm lucky enough to have my husband on board with leaving any sons intact. I'm afraid I would be forced to divorce him if he tried to insist on unneccessary cosmetic surgery for a newborn baby.
LoL thats what i said haha!!!
post #27 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by triple07 View Post
I found a page with some videos on here.

*Viewer Discretion Advised*

I could not watch most of these, I broke down crying and I had to click out of them...
Thanks for that link.....I'm definitely showing DH that.
post #28 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jörð View Post
It's hard for me to even believe it's still an issue... Not circing our son was one of the best and most gentle decisions we've ever made on his behalf. He's such an amazingly sweet natured child- I wonder how that trauma might have been formative and changed him. I'm so glad I don't have to live with any regrets regarding circ.
I'm not in your ddc, but I just have to say, my son is circ'd (I would not make the same choice again knowing what I know now of course) and he is also an amazing, loving, good natured, gentle child. I think that suggesting that a child could not be that way due to being circ'd is going way overboard.

Also, I am not hard on myself about my decision, and I don't think any other mamas should be either. We do better when we know better.
post #29 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarbear View Post
I'm not in your ddc, but I just have to say, my son is circ'd (I would not make the same choice again knowing what I know now of course) and he is also an amazing, loving, good natured, gentle child. I think that suggesting that a child could not be that way due to being circ'd is going way overboard.

Also, I am not hard on myself about my decision, and I don't think any other mamas should be either. We do better when we know better.
I didn't say that to offend anyone but I am entitled to say it. MDC does not support RIC and neither do I. I believe circumcision is emotionally as well as physically damaging. It's important to remember that there are lots of first time mothers here who won't benefit from any sugar coating.
post #30 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarbear View Post
I'm not in your ddc, but I just have to say, my son is circ'd (I would not make the same choice again knowing what I know now of course) and he is also an amazing, loving, good natured, gentle child. I think that suggesting that a child could not be that way due to being circ'd is going way overboard.

Also, I am not hard on myself about my decision, and I don't think any other mamas should be either. We do better when we know better.
Well said! My son is circumsized, and is a sweet, loving little boy. I also do not think I'm a terrible person for it, and won't be bullied into thinking so. My husband was circumsized at age 7, and of course, he remembers it, and he wanted his son circumsized when he wouldn't remember it. Well, having going through that, I can't see doing it again and I pray for a girl just to avoid the arguement. It was too hard to see him in such pain, it was just terrible. It will be a fight for sure, but I won't give in this time. I was upset at first that my ob who performed it (not circ'd, I gathered from the convo about whether we would or wouldn't circ, he was very ademant that it wasn't necessary, only cosmetic, etc) only did a partial circ, but now I'm glad that's sort of intact. I like the idea of him looking similar to his potential brother, who will be completely intact.
post #31 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jörð View Post
I didn't say that to offend anyone but I am entitled to say it. MDC does not support RIC and neither do I. I believe circumcision is emotionally as well as physically damaging. It's important to remember that there are lots of first time mothers here who won't benefit from any sugar coating.
: as a mama who almost circ'd her sweet baby boy but by chance didn't, I think it is very good for first time mothers OR mothers who have circ'd previous children and are not informed of the good of keeping their LO intact to hear the raw details. Although I don't know if I could say that circ'ing a little boy would somehow "turn him bad" or something, sugar coating is definitely not what MDC has been about, in my short 1 1/2 months of being here. And I am VERY grateful for that.
post #32 of 91
Well neither of my sons are circ'd and my DS1 is one heck of a ball of energy with tendencies towards being a bully to his little brother...so I don't think that circ'ing has much to do with that. It's personality and something you have to work with.

But I'm glad my boys are not circ'd. I'm lucky in that my DH *is* circ'd and is adamently against any boys of his being circ'd, and my older kids' dad was ok with not circ'ing once he had some facts.

I don't much like the "I'm circ'd so he should look like me" arguement. I'm not sure how much time fathers and sons actually spend comparing penises...but I haven't ever had the desire to compare my labia to my daughter's and I can't see it ever happening lol!!

I know for an absolute fact having two DS's that penises just look different. My cousin circs her boys and her two boys look different during diaper changes. A boy is never going to have a penis that looks "just like dad's" or "just like big brother's" - he's going to have his own penis. And a circ could be botched or messed up in some other way, which = a deformed looking penis.

Really think of it - if your parents had the top of your right ear sliced off as a child b/c that's what everyone did and it's not "needed" anyways.... would you slice the top of your child's right ear off to be "traditional" and so "he looks like me" - no. I don't much see where slicing skin from a son's penis is much different.

And I know that you don't feel that way Tara, but I'm just saying more for your husband. Maybe it would be helpful to find some circ'd fathers who chose NOT to circ their sons for him to talk to? I'm not sure if there's some inherently masculine thing going on in his mind that I'm not tuning into. But really. Most boys that will be in the locker room with your son (if you're carrying a boy) will probably be un-circed b/c the tides are changing so much.
post #33 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by triple07 View Post
: Although I don't know if I could say that circ'ing a little boy would somehow "turn him bad" or something,

Just for the record, I wasn't implying that either. I'm just glad my son has never suffered any trauma that might have affected his sweet disposition.
post #34 of 91
And to add to that, I wasn't trying to be inflammatory or offensive. I have a strong conviction against circumcision and feel very blessed that I didn't have a son until I'd really learned about it. I'm not interested in allowing this to make bad feelings among our DDC mamas so I'm going to bow out of this thread at this time.
post #35 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jörð View Post
I didn't say that to offend anyone but I am entitled to say it. MDC does not support RIC and neither do I. I believe circumcision is emotionally as well as physically damaging. It's important to remember that there are lots of first time mothers here who won't benefit from any sugar coating.
I'm not arguing the merits of circumcision, and I am fully aware of MDC's take on the issue.

There are, however, many MDC mamas who have circ'd (and would not again), and I think it is insensitive and offensive to suggest that the sons among us who are not circ'd are somehow 'better' in disposition or otherwise that the sons that are.

I didn't want to start a debate amongst your ddc, sorry for doing so, I just felt the need to offer another perspective on the issue.
post #36 of 91
My ds is not circ and it's not even something we discussed. The circ rate in Canada is fairly low, it's considered a cosmetic surgery and not covered by our health care. None of the doctors here recommend it. Actually, I'd have to drive to a different province if I wanted to get my son circ, no one does it in the city I live in.
post #37 of 91
Quote:
Please don't lecture me or offer help on this but I had to respond. I am sad to say that I don't find circ necessary and would prefer not to do it but DH won't even discuss it. I brought it up and he completely shut down the converstaion before it started. He's not willing to even listen to any education or anything. He's circ'd and wants his son to look like him of course. Oh if he only knew. I'm hoping since the OB we chose is pretty darn crunchy, she'll bring it up and offer him education. Coming from a professional, he would listen I think. *sigh* It's all very sad.
My question is why is it his decision?? If you are just as adamandt that it not be done then why does your husband get to be the deciding factor??
post #38 of 91
never mind.
post #39 of 91
A Bris Shalom is something that some MDC families have chosen for their sons if there is a religious reason for doing a circ.
post #40 of 91
^ Thanks so much for that information!!! I was just telling DH that it hurt my heart that there were women out there who, for religious reasons, circ their sons even if they are well informed. That is really awesome to know that religion can evolve somewhat for the well being of it's members as well.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: October 2008