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Circumcision - Page 4

post #61 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaraRae82 View Post
Please don't lecture me or offer help on this but I had to respond. I am sad to say that I don't find circ necessary and would prefer not to do it but DH won't even discuss it. I brought it up and he completely shut down the converstaion before it started. He's not willing to even listen to any education or anything. He's circ'd and wants his son to look like him of course.
My husband was the same way when I was PG with #1. We had a girl and didn't have to deal with it. Now, with #2, he brought it up himself and said that he was anti-circ too, and it was totally out of the blue!! You never can tell with these dhs what they will feel. I know that for my dh, seeing the jaundice test on my daughter's foot kicked in his protective instincts to the degree that he may have changed his mind about circ in the hospital had #1 been a boy. I wish you the best.
post #62 of 91
I have two boys and we circ'ed both of them. HOWEVER the last little boy breastfed really good before the circ and after he did horrible for weeks and weeks, I could not get him interested he wanted to sleep. I found some information that circ-ing can cause a baby to go into a coma like state for weeks, and has a negative impact on breastfeeding. I wonder if it made him do that after breastfeeding so well in the several hours after birth and then immedietly after circing everything went down hill, pretty much. I had to Exclusivly pump from the time he was 9 weeks to 5 months or so.

I am not in favor of doing any more circumsicion, I dont think. Now if I can just convince dh of that!!
post #63 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by herbsgirl View Post
I have two boys and we circ'ed both of them. HOWEVER the last little boy breastfed really good before the circ and after he did horrible for weeks and weeks, I could not get him interested he wanted to sleep. I found some information that circ-ing can cause a baby to go into a coma like state for weeks, and has a negative impact on breastfeeding. I wonder if it made him do that after breastfeeding so well in the several hours after birth and then immedietly after circing everything went down hill, pretty much. I had to Exclusivly pump from the time he was 9 weeks to 5 months or so.

I am not in favor of doing any more circumsicion, I dont think. Now if I can just convince dh of that!!
Ahh, the connection between circ and poor feeding...obviously a very real issue that I've seen may times downplayed or swept under the rug. There also isn't very much research out there on the subject, unfortunately.

I always tell my mamas who are having feeding difficulties (and even those who aren't) that if they want to circ they should wait til the babe can effectively nurse well. I tell them that breastfeeding should be their priority. It sounds like nobody told you that, mama.

mama. I'm sorry to hear that your breastfeeding relationship was affected.
post #64 of 91
A woman in the August DDC just started a thread over there about circ. She's a doula and childbirth educator and has a bunch of good information on her website (link in that post)...if anyone here is still looking for more info about circ.
post #65 of 91
I never talk about what happened with ds...it was too traumatic for me and even if he dosn't remember, I do. I forever will beat myself up for not coming here and researching, just letting myself be talked into something in my hormonal haze. No amount of "when you know better, you do better" makes me feel better, though I guess it should. If this dc is a boy (and I pray it is) it will NEVER happen, unless he's an adult and making his choice. I will never forget that day..never.

My husband could not understand anything abuot it...no big deal, cleaner, whatever. If this one is a boy I will fight to the death to keep him intact, it's the same with vaxing...over my dead body.
post #66 of 91
If this child is a boy we are on the fence about circ. I had never questioned it before as my DH and our families are all circ as far as I know, but I started reading more about it when I got pregnant and it seems pretty cruel. DH doesn't want our son to grow up looking "different" but isn't really fighting me on the issue. I am wondering though about the increased risk of penile cancer and HIV, the HIV issue I read about here and here. Obviously we'll teach our children about safe sex and penile cancer is very rare I've read 1 in 100,000, but is any one else concerned about health risks with not circumcising? Please don't jump down my throat as I realize 99.9% of people here are anti-circ, I just have questions
post #67 of 91
^ I believe that is what threads like this are here for, to inform ppl. Although I don't have any answers about HIV or penile cancer, I believe that the odds are so low that the benefits of not circ'ing, for me, *greatly* outweigh the risks!
post #68 of 91
Thread Starter 
Penile cancer can form IN THE CIRC SCAR-- http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/sites/en...t_uids=3944860
http://www.ajsp.com/pt/re/ajsp/abstr...195629!8091!-1

As for circ and Aids/HIV: It is completely bunk. There are several threads in the CAC forum discussing and disecting the study.
The USA is the highest circ'ing nation... most of the men in the USA that have Aids/HIV are circ'ed. Using infant circumcision as a preventative makes as much sense as cutting off our daughters' breasts at birth to prevent breast cancer... actually, that would make more sense and save more lives. The truth is, safe sex practices are more reliable and very well proven to prevent the spread of infection by barrier methods and abstainance.

Please visit the Case Against Circ forum, and check out the stickies-- especially the Web Resources
There really is more info on this subject than can be addressed by a single thread...
I spent weeks researching (absolutley horrified) when I first found the board.

Did you know there are "medical studies" proving circ could cure seizures and clubfeet???
post #69 of 91
Thread Starter 

Aids and STD research

Here ya go, one of the threads with lots of good studies, as well as info on the immune protection of the foreskin:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=860236
"only clinical circumcision prevents HIV/AIDS"
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=845195

newsletter for physicians:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=768176

UTI talk, not necessarily research, but info
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=843270

Reasons Circ would be "necessary" as an adult?
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=847027

Anyway, please spend some time over there, and please spread the word once you do!
post #70 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by love14 View Post
If this child is a boy we are on the fence about circ. I had never questioned it before as my DH and our families are all circ as far as I know, but I started reading more about it when I got pregnant and it seems pretty cruel. DH doesn't want our son to grow up looking "different" but isn't really fighting me on the issue. I am wondering though about the increased risk of penile cancer and HIV, the HIV issue I read about here and here. Obviously we'll teach our children about safe sex and penile cancer is very rare I've read 1 in 100,000, but is any one else concerned about health risks with not circumcising? Please don't jump down my throat as I realize 99.9% of people here are anti-circ, I just have questions
the study linking HIV to not being circ'd is just insane. go to the CAC forum and look at what has been said about it there.

im not jumping down your throat but i have 3 boys and i have NEVER seen or heard of them brandishing their penises along w/ their father, yk?? in 17 years, never!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


the whole "look like daddy thing" is just crazy!

and circ. is on the decrease in this country, thank G-d. Even the AAP recommends against RIC! Our sons are going to be in the majority when they are growing up....
post #71 of 91
I just wanted to add that we were a little concerned how the two older boys (who are circ'd) would react to Wyatt who in uncirc'd. They see me change his diaper all of the time and have seen him in the bath and have never made a comment about his penis being different than theirs. It really has been a non-issue.
post #72 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by green_sturgeon View Post
A woman in the August DDC just started a thread over there about circ. She's a doula and childbirth educator and has a bunch of good information on her website (link in that post)...if anyone here is still looking for more info about circ.
I saw that and thought she had a great approproach! I still haven't gotten around to post the info in my circ binder...but I will...I promise.
post #73 of 91
This is my first child, and my gut instinct is that it will be a girl, but I know we need to make a choice in case it is a boy. I am VERY against it. I feel it is barbaric and I dont even understand really how people do it. I first started feeling this way when I read some information several years back about female circumcision and I found myself in tears over what those poor girls went through, then I put two and two together and realized the same thing happens to little boys every day in America. My partner feels a little differently. I am having a home birth, so I'm kind of hoping we can just not do it.... and he will forget about the whole thing? I would love any good solid info that I can show him (something short, to-the-point, and not "hippy" sounding) to sway him to my side.
Thank You.
post #74 of 91
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim919 View Post
I am having a home birth, so I'm kind of hoping we can just not do it.... and he will forget about the whole thing? I would love any good solid info that I can show him (something short, to-the-point, and not "hippy" sounding) to sway him to my side.
Thank You.
Just show him the video, if he is adamant about having it done. WARNING! Graphic and disturbing, I have only watched the first 30 seconds
http://www.intact.ca/video.html
A transcript of what is being said can be found here:
http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=481025
Just reading it made me shake, sweat, and vomit. How people are duped by their doctors everyday- parents think they are doing what is best for their children, but the medical community refuses to acknowledge the harms.

Really, it is not a "hippy" issue or a "crunchy" issue. It is a human rights issue.

I have a pro-circ, anti-INFANT circ Word document if anyone is interested, just pm me your address. It is basically geared to men who are into body modification (tats, piercings, etc) and tells how careless doctors are when they cut off the foreskin, and how easy the surgery is as an adult IF the boy chooses to have it done on his own.

You can try the approach I did with my (then boyfriend, now) husband: I told him over my dead body was anyone cutting off a part of my perfectly healthy baby. And I didn't know the full horrors until I found the CAC forum a few months ago... but I truely meant it. No doctor would cut off my child's breasts to prevent breast cancer, or her toes to prevent ingrown toenails... The foreskin is not an expendable body part, any more than my clitoral hood is....
post #75 of 91
We circ'ed DS, I didn't want to, but felt it should be DH's decision. Now I feel 100% it should be DS's decision. It's his body, not DH's. I will not allow it to happen again. We did wait till DS was 3 weeks old and went to a ped surgeon, he seemed to do a good job and DS didn't seem too bothered by it (but then again we never did get the hang of BFing...) but I still won't do it again. If we have a son and he decides he wants to be circed he can do it later.

And of course we weren't allowed in the room while it happened, but we could hear him screaming (just from being restrained we were told) and it was bad enough DH left the building. And he still says he wants to do it again if we have a boy!!!
post #76 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by love14 View Post
If this child is a boy we are on the fence about circ. I had never questioned it before as my DH and our families are all circ as far as I know, but I started reading more about it when I got pregnant and it seems pretty cruel. DH doesn't want our son to grow up looking "different" but isn't really fighting me on the issue. I am wondering though about the increased risk of penile cancer and HIV, the HIV issue I read about here and here. Obviously we'll teach our children about safe sex and penile cancer is very rare I've read 1 in 100,000, but is any one else concerned about health risks with not circumcising? Please don't jump down my throat as I realize 99.9% of people here are anti-circ, I just have questions
Well, circ is a downward trend right now and less and less boys are being circ'd, so in the future, your ds if uncirc'd will likely be in the majority and "normal". Plus, really how many boys/men compare penises? Likely unless he watches porn, he wouldn't notice a difference and the good European stuff has uncirc'd men.

So that should ease your Dh's mind about the "difference" issue. And everyone else already hit on the other issues. I mean, first of all, that is how nature/God/whatever you believe in made penises. Why mess with the design?
post #77 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Traceyky View Post
I have a messianic jewish couple who do it - It is a little hard for me to deal with - but they do travel (7 hour round trip on the 8th day!) to go to a mohel/dr who does the less radical surgery. I respect their research and reasoning even if I don't agree with their choice...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skrimpy View Post
A Bris Shalom is something that some MDC families have chosen for their sons if there is a religious reason for doing a circ.
Quote:
Originally Posted by triple07 View Post
^ Thanks so much for that information!!! I was just telling DH that it hurt my heart that there were women out there who, for religious reasons, circ their sons even if they are well informed. That is really awesome to know that religion can evolve somewhat for the well being of it's members as well.
I'm really glad this angle was appraoched... and so respectfully at that We are a Jewish family and we are of those who choose not to circ. It can be so very sensitive so thank you to everyone who so carefully but without shame appraoched such an important topic!!
post #78 of 91
Thanks for all that info ladies! I've got a lot of research to do
post #79 of 91
Oh Boy, the issue just got worse in my house. We told my boyfriend's parents last night, and the first thing his father said when we told him we were having a home birth was "what if its a boy?" I didn't actually understand what he was saying, but my boyfriend apparently picked up on it. He said "the midwife will do it right there" i said "No she wont" then I realized we were gearing up for a huge fight. His parents were absolutly dead set on having a circ, and when we got home and re-opened the argument he is dead set on it also. When it comes right down to the wire.... who makes the decision? Do both parents have to sign off? We are not married, do i get the final decision?

PS: If my child at any point decides himself that HE wants this cosmetic procedure, I have no problem with allowing him to make that choice.
post #80 of 91
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim919 View Post
Oh Boy, the issue just got worse in my house. We told my boyfriend's parents last night, and the first thing his father said when we told him we were having a home birth was "what if its a boy?" I didn't actually understand what he was saying, but my boyfriend apparently picked up on it. He said "the midwife will do it right there" i said "No she wont" then I realized we were gearing up for a huge fight. His parents were absolutly dead set on having a circ, and when we got home and re-opened the argument he is dead set on it also. When it comes right down to the wire.... who makes the decision? Do both parents have to sign off? We are not married, do i get the final decision?

PS: If my child at any point decides himself that HE wants this cosmetic procedure, I have no problem with allowing him to make that choice.
His parents have NO SAY in the matter. They made the choice for their own children.

I just wanted to offer you encouragement. My husband and I had many discussions about this before Wyatt was born and he was dead set on having it done and I obviously was dead set against it. We were still arguing about it after he was born. He wasn't there when the asked in the hospital and I flat out refused to take him to have it done afterwards and I knew that DH wouldn't take him in by himself. Wyatt is now almost a year and the issue has never come up again. I think now that DH sees that an uncirc'd penis is totally, completely "normal," and Wyatt hasn't had any problems at all, it has changed his mind.

Stand your ground and keep presenting the information to your boyfriend and hopefully he will see how unnecessary and cruel the procedure is to baby boys.
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