why is my son so aggitated at dinner time?

[Barbee]

he's never been a good eater. he never even wanted solids until he was 18 months old. i never pushed it. from my very first post partum meal, he's seemed aggitated. we used to think he would just grow out of it and i held him through all meals, often eating with one hand while he nursed. as he got older, he still demanded my time when dinner was served. i let him watch me cook and spent time with him while i was preparing the meal. he helps me now by peeling onions and watching as food sizzles and cooks on the stove. but, when it's time to actually eat, he goes berzerk. i keep trying to get him just to stay in his high chair while we eat and give him the choice to eat or not eat. if we're having something he likes, he'll eat it and be fine, but if it's something new, he gets nervous and starts demanding impossible things or things he knows we don't do at dinnertime like watch a movie (which was his thing tonight). he whined "i want to hold you i want to watch a movie i want some ice cream i want to get down" all in one breath while i ate. sometimes i can get him to try new things and after he does, he'll sometimes finish it. the last two things he tried were salad and broccoli. he gagged on both of them the second they touched his tongue. tonight he refused to try his hamburger which i thought he'd eat so i snuck several types of veggies into them. maybe he could smell them which is why he didn't try it. why is dinnertime so hard for him? we're calm people. i love food. where did this little alien come from???

[Vancouver Mommy]

Here's a shot in the dark, but is it possible that he's too tired to deal with an evening meal? My dd recently gave up napping and became crazed around dinner time. Often she demanded to go to bed while we were eating. I started giving her a meal before dp got home from work, then while we ate dinner she had a bedtime snack and went to bed shortly after.

[babsbob]

We call it the "witching hour". That magical time of the evening when the kids just whine and scream and become so demanding! It's usually always around 5:30pm. DH complained because the kids acted up at dinner time. When I explained to him that they are just like that at that time he didn't believe me until the time changed last week and like clockwork - the meltdowns happened an hour later than usual. Then he believed me.

All you can do is try to remain calm and be loving but kind of let it all roll off your back. Toddlers don't stay put for long anyway at the table and by that time of day they have probably eaten all the calories they need, so I wouldn't worry too much about what he eats for dinner if he eats well the rest of the day. You could also try to put a few snacks out he can graze on while you cook or eat dinner. I put a few healthy snacks in a muffin tin and put it on the little toddler table in my kitchen. That makes it fun.

[abi&ben'smom]

Besides being tired, does he not like being in the high chair for too long? My two barely used theirs once they were walking. I didn't care if they came and went at the table, they just couldn't sit for that long. They were very good eaters, but sitting at the table was just too boring! The older they got, the longer they would stay.

[Barbee]

i think you're right and he must be too tired at 6:30 when i put din on the table. lastnight after his dinner meltdown he fell asleep on the couch at 7:45 while i was washing dishes. this is not normal for him. he likes being in his high chair for the most part. it's just at dinner that he freaks out. i guess i just want him to love dinner as much as i do, but i think what i really need to do is just make him something earlier and not worry about it. thanks mamas.

[LynnS6]

When does he eat before dinner? It could also be low blood sugar.

I was very much like your son as a young child (there are legendary family stories of my screaming madly through dinner). Even today, if I get too hungry, my mood falls apart very very quickly. I need to be careful to eat a lunch with protein and a little fat, and to have a snack mid afternoon.

He might also have very very sensitive tastes/sensory issues with his mouth that make eating stressful for him.

[Barbee]

Originally Posted by LynnS6

When does he eat before dinner? It could also be low blood sugar.

I was very much like your son as a young child (there are legendary family stories of my screaming madly through dinner). Even today, if I get too hungry, my mood falls apart very very quickly. I need to be careful to eat a lunch with protein and a little fat, and to have a snack mid afternoon.

hmm that's interesting. i get the same way when my blood sugar is low. dh knows that on a road trip when i say i need to eat, he'd better pull over asap. i particularly have protein issues. if i don't eat an animal protein in the morning, i feel horrible shortly afterward. i have yet to find a non animal protein that will work for me. he could very well take after me. i do give ds snacks all day. it varies from day to day. often he has yogurt in the afternoon, or trader joe's cheese raviolis which are his favorite. i think i need more protein ideas for an afternoon snack. thank you for your input. i would love some of your lunch and afternoon snack ideas.

[Embee]

Indeed, we switched our dinner hour to 5-5:30 sharp (as soon as DH rolled in from work) when DS was about this age and it helped a ton.

Other things that have been helpful for us is mixing thing up. Sometimes we fix an easy meal and have a picnic on the living room floor complete with blanket, basket and picnic ware. DS loves this. In the summer, we pack sandwiches or cold chicken and drive the the beach/park and have a real picnic dinner. When DS was a toddler, he had a little toddler table in his bedrom and for whatever reason, when we ordered pizza, we always had to eat at HIS table, small chairs and all.

I had this idea of lovely family meal times because I had them as a kid. All in all, they haven't been so sacred as I would have hoped. But in my family growing up, it was often the only time we connected as a family (big family, single working mom, large age range). In our family, we're together so much of the time that it's no real problem to relax about it a bit, mix it up and like tonight, watch National Geographic while we ate (there was an "African Savannah" on my kitchen table so...

The best and hang in there, mama.

Em

[kimbersdawnly]

I've had trouble getting protien in my son (picky!), but he does the low blood sugar melt downs too.

Foods that have worked for us:
Grilled cheese sandwiches on good bread (we like Rudi's 7 grain w/flax, it has lots of whole grains & protien, for bread anyway);
string cheese;
occasionally we manage a turkey sandwich (I cut them up into squares so he can pop a bite in his mouth while playing);
whole grain bagles with lots of cream cheese;
I've even resorted to making low sugar cheese cakes!

One thing that really helps when he's teetering on the edge of a hunger tantrum are sliced bananas topped with peanut butter. The banana brings up blood sugar quickly, and the peanut butter helps to sustain him.

I hope that helps, I don't have tons of creative suggestions because mine's been so picky, but we do our best. Good luck!

[TonyaW]

I agree it could be low blood sugar and that he needs a snack if not already getting one before dinner. I have noticed this in my own son. He basically snacks and never really eats a full meal.

[LynnS6]

Originally Posted by Barbee

often he has yogurt in the afternoon, or trader joe's cheese raviolis which are his favorite. i think i need more protein ideas for an afternoon snack. thank you for your input. i would love some of your lunch and afternoon snack ideas.

Those are great snacks -- just remember that he probably needs to eat every 2 hours.

Things that work for me:
Snacks
Smoothies with milk, yogurt and fruit
Nuts and nut butters; sunflower seeds
Cheese (cheddar cheese and apples is a combo that I really like)

Lunches
Any sandwich with protein for lunch is usually good (tuna, peanut butter, turkey, grilled cheese)
Leftovers for lunch (we often make curries for dinner, so a meat curry and rice will really help)
Bagels and cream cheese (they sell bagels that have a fair amount of protein in them)

It's also important to AVOID a lot of refined sugars (and fruit juices) in the late afternoon. This is really hard for me to do because I crave sugar then.