How would you handle this? (Anger)

[~ZooBabies~]

My son, who is almost 6 y/o, will often hit something (ie: the couch, his chair...) if he's angry w/something I've requested.

If I ask him to pick up his things,etc. he will sometimes hit and say "I'm angry!"


How would you respond?

I just don't like the idea of hitting....(him hitting, not me hitting him. Just wanted to clarify,lol)

[Hesperia]

I know you are angry, I often don't like to do things, lets do it together.

I wouldn't address hitting the couch, he might very well just need to blow off steam.

This is short and simple, but I can often go on forever, so best to keep it this way.

Make sure he gets enough major motor skill play each day, watch sugar intake, the normal stuff.

Be pleased he can talk about how he feels, and doesn't just smash things. Gives you something to work with!

[Beffy]

Oh, I am so interested in seeing some replies to this!! My ds, 3.5, does this too but says, "Mama, I MEAN to you. I HIT you." I think this is a situation in which he is acting out aggression that might be cropping up at school and now he is verbalizing it because he knows we do not hit in our home. I don't know how to handle this either because in the moment I am stunned but at the same time glad that he is verbalizing his anger instead of physically acting it out.

Could it be that he is having some stressors at school? I find that when ds is having troubles or has a "bad" day he uses that mode of expression more often.

Wish I could help more but I am just as curious as to find out how I should handle it too! Thanks for starting this thread!

[babsbob]

I think it's good that he can express himself this way. Have you asked him why he gets angry when you ask him to do something?
Have you tried changing the way you request things to see if it helps?

[~ZooBabies~]

You know, often I TRY to say things better than "Clean up your toys." I don't like that.

I try "It's time to clean up now so we can do _______." OR "I want you to put your trains back in their case." Etc.

He also is always saying "I'm soooo tired."
And I try to explain that he got them all out/dumped them out, and it's time to put them away (bc usually it's bath time, time to leave,etc.)

Also~He often doesn't "help" if I offer to do it w/him. If I say or start helping him w/toys, he will sort of sit there and I end up doing most of it. I just think at 5.5 y/o, he can do it better than that. (I don't say it to him that way.)

Thanks for the replies!