3 year old INTENSE fear of the dark - HELP!!

[yentroc]

My dd just turned 3. She sleeps in our room on a futon mattress on the floor next to our bed and has since she was a year old.

For a long time now we could put her to bed an hour or so before us and she would play/sing herself to sleep and we would get our well needed alone time.

For the past week or so (and actually longer looking back) she has been TERRIFIED of us leaving. Just completely panicked. If I lay with her until she goes to sleep the moment I move, she wakes herself up completely and we start all over again. It's now to the point of when she wakes up in the middle of the night, she wants all the lights on in the room and just cries and cries if we don't turn all of them on. (we have 2 bright night lights on) This morning she didn't go back to sleep after 4am. I snuggle her but the second I move, she startles awake and will NOT go back to sleep.

She was a very difficult sleeper from the get go and I think I have some PTSD over the sleep issues, it's so hard for me now after 2 years of total sleep deprivation... I lose my patience with her and feel TERRIBLE.

The things we've tried: leaving on the lights while she goes to sleep, using "magic spray" to spray the scaries away, rescue remedy, deep breathing (do 10 deep breaths and mama will come back to check on you, repeat, repeat... which actually worked tonight).

Anyone BTDT? Please tell me this will pass!!! Any other supportive thoughts?

[muttix2]

My oldest was very afraid of the dark for awhile. We solved it by keeping a low level light on. One of the energy saving lights at a low wattage. He doesn't sleep with us but if he wakes up crying I just tell him that everything is ok and it is time to go back to sleep. I might give him a drink or something but mostly I just have him go pee and then go back to sleep. Dealing with it gently but firmly (we will NOT be getting up to play, etc.) has worked for us. Basically though, he just had to grow out of it. He's four now and it is much easier than it used to be.

[mamademateo]

my ds(4) started going through being afraid of the dark not too long ago. it seems to be dwindling but he goes to sleep with the light from the next room on. i don't know how long it will last for your dd but somethings i do to help ds sleep or calm down are : to massage his ears, especially behind it,. he yawns everytime. someone taught me this as a way to calm animals also. i also massage the middle of his forhead pushing my thumb from the bridge of his nose up and down to his hairline . oh, and there is a spot on his wrist (on the pinky side) that i rub that also relaxes him. i also do these to myself when i start to lose patience...sometimes it helps!!

[4evermom]

Three is a big age for fears. Developmentally, they are more aware of themselves as a separate vulnerable entity. My ds used to be scared of walking past an unplugged speaker at that age. He knew, intellectually, that it couldn't surprise him with sudden noises if it didn't have electricity but he waas still scared.

My ds hasn't been terribly afraid of the dark, but he is an extremely poor sleeper. In the past, I've set myself up with things I could do quietly in bed when he was sleeping. It's been tricky because he startles awake when I move but if I could get him settled without his head on my arm, I could crotchet or write a letter. With his head on my arm, I can at least read. So I always tried to keep reading material stocked by the bed. I'd bring a drink or even a snack. I'd use a fan for white noise so ds wouldn't startle at my rustling. We've used nightlights off and on but I feel like he has usually not needed one if he could feel me though there was one point when he insisted on it anyway.

[abi&ben'smom]

What about a flashlight?