How to help foster initiative in a 7 yr old?

[Drewsmom]

My ds#2 is naturally inclined to see the big picture and know what needs to be done in what order (he's 4) but my oldest who just turned 7 has always had trouble with this.

How can I help instill some initiative in him kindly? I hate being a nag and I am really trying not to but if I don't remind often ykwim? then he gets off course quite frequently. He's sort of borderline ADD but through things like nutritional supplements, watching our diet and trying to do some brain stimulating activities (ie puzzles, reading, etc) it really has helped his focus a lot. Now I just need to help him develop a sense of responsibility.

Do you have any good suggestions for this?

[almama]

Hi-

I just wanted to clarify your question. Do you want him to take initiative (and it sounds like follow through) on *something* or is it specific things (cleaning room, etc)?

[1hautemama]

:
We have the same issues w/ our DD2, who just turned 8. sorry I have no words of wisdom, mama I am in the same boat.

[Drewsmom]

Originally Posted by almama

Hi-

I just wanted to clarify your question. Do you want him to take initiative (and it sounds like follow through) on *something* or is it specific things (cleaning room, etc)?

Finally checking back . To answer your question I would like him to do both...take the initiative to complete a task without being hounded and to also see what needs to be done (not in everything of course but hopefully to develop a sensitivity to knowing when something needs to be done and doing it before being asked).

For example: bedtime (every step of the way is painfully slow and yes we follow all of the advise as far as making sure that we take time for stories and trying to keep a similar routine, etc). It goes something like this every night, "C'mon it's time to get in the shower. (dawdle, dawdle...ad infinitum) OK, it's time to hop out of the shower (dawdle again, remind 3 times +) Ds plays on the floor naked until reminded to get his clothes on.....etc." Same with getting ready for school. Some days I literally have to stand with him every step of the way to make sure that it gets done.

So I want to transition from feeling like I've "trained" him to need multiple requests to thinking about what needs to be done in the routine. I'm trying right now to *ask* him what comes next rather than barking a request. It always starts out calm and by the end of 45 min.s everyone's upset most nights.

What really is aggravating it is that we now have 3 children and it would be extremely helpful if he would be more proactive in doing what needs to be done. It also is hard not to mentally compare him when my 4 yr old sees what needs to be done and reminds his older brother aggghh. I know that it has a lot to do with his personality.

I just *really* want to find chid friendly ways to help him understand and learn these concepts. Unlike my parents who constantly barked orders and criticized (which I try daily to not repeat) I understand that as his parent I am in the teacher role and it is my job to create learning opportunities. I know that he won't do things perfectly 100% of the time like I don't now but I want to know how to facilitate his becoming more proactive in daily routines (ie bedtime, getting ready for school, homework, etc)