Where to begin? I used to ask for advice on this forum over a year ago, regarding SS. He lived with my husband and I up until last April, he went to live with BM.
While SS was living with us, he was taking an arsenal (no exaggeration) of weapons to school (20 boxcutters, lighters, my steak knives, etc), cutting & burning himself, refusing to shower, piercing his skin with staples and other sharp objects, and urinating all over my bathroom.
We finally got him into counselling, which BM thought was ridiculous..."all he needed was her love." The counsellor seemed to agree that SS and some sort of love/trust issue with BM and would do anything to make him happy, including preparing the transition from our home to BM's home.
We kept expressing our concerns to the counsellor in regards to SS, because even though counselling takes time, his behavior wasn't improving and seemed to be getting worse over the course of 7 months. We were told we were over-reacting & that this was NORMAL teenage stuff. THat SS was testing us.
(He tells us this why SS is literally picking at his eyelid with a sewing needle in the counselling office).
NOTE: The counsellor has been relieved of his profession since this time, as he needed more schooling.
We just found this out...
After a weekend visit with BM, SS refused to come home and BM said she refused to bring him home, he was old enough to choose who he wanted to live with. She also stopped taking him to counselling because he was old enough to make his own decisions...and now...he's a trainwreck and because he just turned 17, she can't get him any help (hes refusing).
SS is 17, hooked on drugs (hard stuff), hitting his sister when he's high, refusing to go to school, get a job, he's mutilating himself (which he never stopped doing), landed in the hospital with alcohol poisoning in January, comes and goes from BM's house when he pleases despite what she says, and doesn't care about a damn thing including himself or others.
As far as I'm concerned everyone failed this kid (myself included), but I really don't know what I can do. I feel like I have to do something. My life was a living hell when he was living with us because he wanted to live with his BM and he claimed that's why he was acting the way he was (lying to us, stealing, not going to school, refusing to shower, pissing all over my bathroom, etc). Now he got his wish-- it's been a year that he's living with his BM and now her life is a living hell because she never imposed any rules and he comes and goes whenever he wants since the age of 16 high as a kite.
I guess what I'm asking is: what can I do? I'm worried that if she throws him out he's going to end up killing himself or someone else. He's made it clear that he doesn't want to live with us (because we have rules). I've made some calls here and mental health and social services are telling me that he's old enough to refuse help...But I refuse to accept that answer. I'm worried that he's in danger of hurting himself and more than he already has & that his sister is in danger (and she refuses to leave the household, but she's crying every day).
While SS was living with us, he was taking an arsenal (no exaggeration) of weapons to school (20 boxcutters, lighters, my steak knives, etc), cutting & burning himself, refusing to shower, piercing his skin with staples and other sharp objects, and urinating all over my bathroom.
We finally got him into counselling, which BM thought was ridiculous..."all he needed was her love." The counsellor seemed to agree that SS and some sort of love/trust issue with BM and would do anything to make him happy, including preparing the transition from our home to BM's home.
We kept expressing our concerns to the counsellor in regards to SS, because even though counselling takes time, his behavior wasn't improving and seemed to be getting worse over the course of 7 months. We were told we were over-reacting & that this was NORMAL teenage stuff. THat SS was testing us.
(He tells us this why SS is literally picking at his eyelid with a sewing needle in the counselling office).NOTE: The counsellor has been relieved of his profession since this time, as he needed more schooling.
We just found this out...After a weekend visit with BM, SS refused to come home and BM said she refused to bring him home, he was old enough to choose who he wanted to live with. She also stopped taking him to counselling because he was old enough to make his own decisions...and now...he's a trainwreck and because he just turned 17, she can't get him any help (hes refusing).
SS is 17, hooked on drugs (hard stuff), hitting his sister when he's high, refusing to go to school, get a job, he's mutilating himself (which he never stopped doing), landed in the hospital with alcohol poisoning in January, comes and goes from BM's house when he pleases despite what she says, and doesn't care about a damn thing including himself or others.
As far as I'm concerned everyone failed this kid (myself included), but I really don't know what I can do. I feel like I have to do something. My life was a living hell when he was living with us because he wanted to live with his BM and he claimed that's why he was acting the way he was (lying to us, stealing, not going to school, refusing to shower, pissing all over my bathroom, etc). Now he got his wish-- it's been a year that he's living with his BM and now her life is a living hell because she never imposed any rules and he comes and goes whenever he wants since the age of 16 high as a kite.
I guess what I'm asking is: what can I do? I'm worried that if she throws him out he's going to end up killing himself or someone else. He's made it clear that he doesn't want to live with us (because we have rules). I've made some calls here and mental health and social services are telling me that he's old enough to refuse help...But I refuse to accept that answer. I'm worried that he's in danger of hurting himself and more than he already has & that his sister is in danger (and she refuses to leave the household, but she's crying every day).
