I agree with the poster above meI was raised by my stepdad since I was two and I'm 25 now. My real dad was never really in my life.....I always referred to my stepdad as dad because he is the dad that I know. There were and still are times however when i have to refer to him as stepdad to clarify because it can become very confusing to people when I talk about both...and when it comes to his school work and keeping a journal, it is going to really confuse the teacher when he says he spent that week at his mommy's house, and then the next week at his mommy's house without specifying which mommy. It sucks but he does have two mommies and the 2nd mommy is going to always be the 2nd mommy as long as the first one is around...I have a dss from my dh's prior relationship(never married) and his mom has hardly been in the picture at all, so I too am a fulltime stepmom...but I encourage him to call her mom and I am mommy stephanie. I know that once he gets older the mommy stephanie thing probably won't be so cool but then I'm sure he'll think of something else to call me that is fitting. I do understand that it hurt you though, as you have taken care of this child all his life, more so than his own mother, but she is the biomom. She is the first mom, no matter what, and that's kind of what we had to learn to accept and have to continue to learn to accept as long as we are married to their father. Just hang in there and as many people have said, counselling couldn't hurt and you'll be able to get all those negative feelings out and feel much better!!