Healing from traumatic birth

[zimmee]

(This is cross posted in the Homebirth forum)

I have written this post a hundred times in the 18 months since my son's birth. I am determined to actually post it this time.

18 months ago, I was assaulted by a doctor after transferring to the hospital from home. Whew! Talk about a condensed version of the events. Well, here I am 18 months later and I am considering TTC again. I am very afraid. Afraid of putting myself out there again and risking "failure" again. My first son was an unnecessary CS and my second was a necessary one. I trusted my body last time to do what it was made for. How can I convince myself that I can trust my body this time?

On top of that, I am deep denial about the assault. I really don't know how to get those feelings to surface. I have read Rebounding from Childbirth many times. I don't know what else to do.

Any suggestions?

[mothercat]

I am so sorry that you even need to post about this. It is far more common than most women realize.

If you click on my siggy, it will lead you to the thread in Birth and Beyond that offers resources. Within that thread/sticky is also a link to the birth trauma tribe here on MDC.

Hope there is something in all of that that will be helpful.


Linda

[dewi]

Zimmee,
Have you considered going to a therapist or birth counselor?
It sounds like you can benefit from that type of professional support.

Reading and getting support from other women is vital but only one part of the healing process, the missing component to healing is having a trained and experienced professional who works with women suffering from trauma help you cope individually with your PTSD.

My whole family suffered from PTSD professional help was vital to growing and coping.

Are you familiar with Gayle Peterson, Ph.D she is well regarded birth counselor. She has also trained other counselors nation wide, I would start by contacting Dr Peterson and to find someone locally.

Best to you,
dew

[zimmee]

Thank you, mothercat. That is a ton of info. I am wading through it all slowly. I am sure there is something there that can help me.

dewi, I think that I really should see a professional. I wasn't sure how I could go about finding one that is experienced, or at least sympathetic to birth trauma. Thank you for the information on Dr. Peterson. I will try to contact her. I hope that there is someone in my area that can help me. I just don't want to see someone that will just suggest medication as the first treatment option.

I have heard that cranio-sacral therapy can be very helpful. Are there any other therapies or whatnot that can help?

[dewi]

Dear Zimmee,

I'm glad to read you are receptive to talk therapy.
Talk therapy does not involve medication unless there are so many contributing mental health factors preventing you from living your life. Then medication is a god send and not a bad thing if the alternative is you have no functional quality of life, only then would you be referred to a psychiatrist (a Md's).

Someone like Gayle is a PhD does not prescribe medication.

Dew:

[MonkeyPrincess]

Here are some inspirational videos:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=X1uEJdKvGM8

http://youtube.com/watch?v=roFVkDV45MM