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I am a new mama today. - Page 14

post #261 of 270
We're actually doing really well. The book, how to raise a thiking child has helped immensely. The word games help me stay focused and help Dd participate this way I am not nearly as angry or lecturing....we're workign together.

I do still have my moments but I think some are OK like when DD ran directly from the car, across the sand and down into the ocean when she was specifically told not to run into the ocean by herself.

I did not yell at her but she was essentially punished. She had to walk back to the van with me and ride to the parking spot (we parked close so we could unload before parking) then she had to walk back to the beach with me...all the while I was lecturing her beach/ocean safety. she could have spent that time on the beach and in the ocean with DH.
I doubt she'll run off into the ocean unsupervised again.
post #262 of 270
Quote:
Originally Posted by pumpkinseed View Post
I now have an 8 week old::And it is has been hard not to lose my temper with my now almost 4 year old.
It's going to get better. I just had a baby in March and 4 mos postpartum I found myself calmer and less inpatient with the toddler.
post #263 of 270
Im having a particularly hard time the last week. My last prenatal appointment I found out there might be something wrong so I was told to stay off my feet and limit my activities until they could get me in with a specialist. Well, the first appointment the doctor who was doing the follow up had was 9 days away from the prenatal appointment. So, I have to stay off my feet for the most part until the 8th when I have the appointment and pray that its all a fluke and theres nothing wrong.

DD hasn't been too happy about the change. We usually go to the park 3-4 times a day (around 7am, noon and then again at 6.. sometimes at 2 as well if she doens't want to nap). When we aren't at the park we play a lot inside climbing around things, making forts, moving around the furniture (she thinks this is the funniest thing), cooking etc. Basically we are either always moving or reading books/coloring etc. Now Im not suppose to take her out to the park (its a walk from the house there) and I can't do a lot of our normal activities. I can tell she is really upset about it and she is acting out because she is upset. Like today, she wanted to climb around since I always let her.. However, I can't move around the sofa and chairs for her to climb over so she was trying to climb onto the computer, AC vent etc, all the areas she isn't suppose to. I would have to get up and get her down and she would scream and cry about it. She keeps going over to the front door and pounding on it. A few minutes ago DH took her out and before she left she brought me my shoes since she wants me to go too.. It broke my heart seeing her little face when I told her no. She of course didn't take it too well , threw herself on the floor and started to cry.
I know everything she is doing is cause she isnt' getting as much mommy interaction as she is use too, but its really getting hard to deal with.. She has been constantly crying for the past 4 days, screaming her head off every time I won't play, getting into things etc.. The crying is going to drive me batty by itself and its getting really hard not to lose my temper with her..

Sorry, had to vent a little.. Im feeling particularly low right now. I want to be a good mom to both my unborn baby and my DD but I feel like Im having to choose between them right now.
post #264 of 270
I don't have time to read through this thread but I'd like to join. I feel like I have a split personality as a mom. My good side is patient, creative, singing all the time, making up stories, co-sleeping, babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, giving my 3 yo good food and leaving her a lot of room to be creative without yelling about her using all the cloth napkins in the house to make a curtain for her bed . But then there is the other side: the side that looses her temper when faced with defiance, yells, glares, grabs too hard, and actually wants to hit her 3 yo (thankfully, I have a smidgen of control and don't actually smack her), then sometimes I cry and its clear that the grown up is not in charge and its not fair. I apologize for my behavior which is appropriate but I shouldn't have so many things to apologize for.

I don't have a lot of real life role models. Both my SIL's who I see often are nasty to their kids. We went on a family vacation and my SIL's actions made me think what I don't want to be like and I realize that I sometimes am. Funny how its much easier to see the kids point of view as an observer. I try to keep my dd's point of view in mind but its hard when I let her push my buttons. Anyway, I'm rambling. Hopefully will find time to read at least some of this thread. I need to be held accountable for my actions.
post #265 of 270
I'm joining this thread too. Need to read to catch up, but glad to be here for support.
post #266 of 270
I'm with you - today it ends.

With my just-turned-3-year-old, it's aggression. How can I expect him to not be aggressive when I yell and I'm aggressive?

My DH says that I sometimes look like Sully in Monsters, Inc - the part where he scares Boo and then sees his scary face on the monitor. And that it scares DS.

And I've always had a problem with handling DS roughly. Not hitting, though lately I'm having the impulse. Just generally yanking him around.

Is it any wonder that hitting and yelling are the two problems we're having with DS right now?

I hope we can turn it around. Someone tell me it's not too late to fix things.
post #267 of 270
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaxoms_mommy View Post
I'm with you - today it ends.

With my just-turned-3-year-old, it's aggression. How can I expect him to not be aggressive when I yell and I'm aggressive?
I got on here a while ago, wandered off, and need to return - I'm with you, Jaxoms mommy - just loosing control - on the edge, don't want to go any further. The very behaviors I want to stop are just youthful and underdeveloped exaggerations of my own immature reactions to frustration. I'm reading bit by bit - a couple of the books off of the reading list, but need help at disengaging and STOPPING my own aggression in the moment.

I have a 2yr-10 month old that hits, grabs, kicks.. I"m at my wit's end.
post #268 of 270
Come join us on the "Parenting & Rage" thread. A lot of btdt stories and suggestions for self-care. http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=394579

Start on the last page...


Pat
post #269 of 270
Quote:
Originally Posted by berkeleyp View Post
I don't have time to read through this thread but I'd like to join. I feel like I have a split personality as a mom. My good side is patient, creative, singing all the time, making up stories, co-sleeping, babywearing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, giving my 3 yo good food and leaving her a lot of room to be creative without yelling about her using all the cloth napkins in the house to make a curtain for her bed . But then there is the other side: the side that looses her temper when faced with defiance, yells, glares, grabs too hard, and actually wants to hit her 3 yo (thankfully, I have a smidgen of control and don't actually smack her), then sometimes I cry and its clear that the grown up is not in charge and its not fair. I apologize for my behavior which is appropriate but I shouldn't have so many things to apologize for.
This is me, too, exactly. We've had a lot of bad days around here lately.
post #270 of 270
Thread Starter 
I am just not the kind of mama I want to be. I feel like it's impossible to be that mama, but then I think about how ridiculously POSSIBLE it really is, how I could just do it if I wanted to badly enough, and that makes me feel even worse.

I fear my children are going to grow up to hate me.

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