If your child had something that might causing teasing later on. Would you consider surgery.

[Gwendolyn's babies]

I am talking along the lines of crooked teeth, bad acne, large ears, facial hair, breast reduction.

If your kid now gets teased would you think of surgery.

Myself, I would consider it if I knew my kid was in for heartache.

[jillmamma]

It would depend on what exactly it was. If it was something that also interfered with daily living or was easily fixed with a minor procedure, then probably yes. If it was only cosmetic and required a more involved procedure, then I would probably wait till the child was old enough to want to have something done.

[gwerydd]

i had a huge overbite as a child. when i was 13 or so i had a growth spurt where my upper jaw kept growing and my lower jaw stopped growing. i could not properly close my mouth or use my front teeth for biting. it really had a major effect on my self esteem. i went to see an oral and maxilofacial surgeon who told my parents and i that i would probably have problems as i got older if it wasn't corrected. when i was 15 i had major jaw surgery ( i couldn't eat solid food for 6 weeks) it was really hard but i am so glad i had it done. my teeth have gotten crooked again ( i had braces for 8 years and when i got them off i didn't where my retainer enough, i was 16 ) but i am very glad that i don't have the issues that i had as a young teen.

[babblingbrook]

It would depend on what it is......and sometimes kids "grow into" it or the feature will otherwise change with time. But if it caused them significant emotional trauma, heck yeah I'd do it.

[RainCoastMama]

Ditto to babbling brook. Having said that, I was SHOCKED that there's surgery offered and covered in Canada for kids with big, sticky-outy ears! I had no idea until friends in school, then my nieces had their ears done! I personally NEVER notice kids' ears, much less when I was a child.

But things like really crooked teeth, scarring acne - yeah, I'd intervene.

However, racial features (eg. eyelid surgery, nosejobs, etc.) I'd not be proactive about as I have a few beliefs about everyone being beautiful and inheriting the riches of their ancestors...etc. etc. But of course, if later on my child was caused undue hardship, I'd support something to psychologically help.

[RainCoastMama]

* double post

[pigpokey]

Originally Posted by RainCoastMama

Ditto to babbling brook. Having said that, I was SHOCKED that there's surgery offered and covered in Canada for kids with big, sticky-outy ears! I had no idea until friends in school, then my nieces had their ears done! I personally NEVER notice kids' ears, much less when I was a child.

It's typically not that the ear is big but that they have a missing or incomplete antihelical fold. It can be molded by the parent instead of surgery (we are doing this for my daughter), however, this simple wisdom is not easy for the public to find and typically doctors don't know either. It would have been easier to do on my daughter when she was a young infant, but we were unaware of the issue as I didn't spend much time looking at kid's ears either or contemplating folds or their significance. However, being called "bat ears," etc, does not do much for a girl's self esteem when she is old enough to have other kids comment. I rarely find more wisdom than in one doctor's assertion on the internet that the "main purpose of the outer ear is to look normal." Even quite severe other ear deformities can be molded in infancy because the cartilege is quite pliable.

So -- as to the ear thing I would not do surgery (potentially traumatic, pain, drugs, etc) until a child was old enough to understand, desire and cooperate, but if it can be molded I think it's kindest to do it ASAP. These things are not much different than braces for crooked teeth or those helmets infants wear when their head goes all flat on one side.

FWIW my daughter is almost 4.5, has no criticism of her appearance, and accepts that some people are born with the fold and other people mold it.

[RainCoastMama]

Thank you for clarifying pigpokey. I had no idea!

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Gwendolyn's babies

I am talking along the lines of crooked teeth, bad acne, large ears, facial hair, breast reduction.

I see the things in your list as massively different. Breast reduction, for example, isn't going to be an issue until long after a girl is old enough to understand at least some of the issues involved and have an opinion of her own.

Crooked teeth seldom require surgery, and yes I would have them corrected. Acne is something that can be dealt with in a variety of ways, and yes I would help my child fully in that endeavor (I believe that natural methods would most likely make scarring unlikely). A birth mark involving facial hair I would have corrected as soon as possible, for a variety of reasons.

I have super curly hair and grew up before perms were a big thing, so I teased constantly. I hated the teasing and my hair, but now I love my hair and I'm sure the teasing helped me build character. I think that most of the things that our kids will get teased about aren't things that we can fix, but rather opportunities for us to help them grow as people. Still, I believe in fixing things that can be fixed, like zits!

[becoming]

It would depend on so many things--the child's opinion, the risk of the procedure, how severe the "problem" was, etc. I couldn't say yes or no without knowing the specifics.

[MPsSweetie]

Yes. I had a huge gap between my teeth as a child and my parents didn't do anything about it, probably lack of money, I guess. I bought braces for myself when I was 15, wore them for 3 years, and still wear my retainer every night. I do need a new one though.

[CarrieMF]

Most of those things I wouldn't do surgery on. If I did do surgery, the reason wouldn't be teasing. That can be dealt with without surgery. I'd only do surgery if it was medically necessary.

[AugustineM]

I had those big sticky-outy ears that were referred to above. I was routinely called Dumbo and other things. I also wore my hair a weird way so that it completely covered my ears. They were a huge embarassment to me. I hated to go swimming because then everyone could see my ears. When I was about 12 or 13, my parents started looking into what could be done for it. I did end up having a minor surgery where they put the fold back into my ear, where before there had been none. It didn't take that long, and then I had to wear a bandage over my head for a few days.

I am SO, so so so glad that my parents were willing to do that for me. I would do the same for my kids, as long as the surgery wasn't too invasive.

[Periwinkle]

I would, yes. I think teasing in childhood is one of the most horrible things a person ever experiences and the damage can last forever.

I would caveat this by saying I would research the heck out of it and make sure I was not setting them up for medical problems.

Also, I would be a lot less inclined (as in, almost could say I wouldn't except under extreme circumstances) to do surgery like a nose job or chinoplasty (whatever you call a "chin job"). Because I do believe strongly in the concept that noses, chins, etc. come in all shapes and sizes and who's to say what is beautiful etc.

So I think, if it weren't an actual medical issue in and of itself (like a cleft lip) then for me to do it, it would have to be pretty universally (literally, meaning across virtually all cultures) accepted as hideous or highly undesirable... something like crossed eyes or GIANT ears or a very malformed jaw or HIGHLY scarred skin.

[sunnmama]

Dd has strabismus (a lazy eye). Corrective surgery has not yet been indicated for function, but at this age I would have to have a *really* good reason to consent to surgery (like protecting her vision). While she hasn't been teased, her eyes have already caused her some social challenges (comments, questions). I don't think that she would choose surgery at this point, despite the social challenges, even if it were medically indicated. So my answer is, probably no. My answer might be different if I had a different child.

[homemademomma]

i have a huge problem with facial hair, and if my dd has the same issue i do, i will go into debt if necessary to fix it for her, if she so desires.

i would never preemptively "fix" a "problem," and i would never suggest it to my child, but if it bothered my kid enough you better believe i would fork up the dough. unless it was major surgery.

[squintz22]

Crooked teeth - absolutely. Acne - yes. Breast augmentation? No.

However - I will be signing my oldest up for a nose job as soon as her face has stopped growing. At 8 months old, she crushed the bridge of her nose on a wooden rocking chair while trying to pull herself up. She has a huge flat spot where the cartilage smashed down under her eyes - and it's extremely noticable all the way across.

If she never notices or mentions it, I won't tell her. But if she asks? We'll find the money somewhere.

[mamazee]

It would depend on the specifics. With something like breast reduction, I'm guessing that can't even be done until the breasts are finished growing, in which case obviously a girl would be able to decide for herself.

I don't know about surgery but I would do orthodontics for crooked teeth before my daughter would be old enough to understand, just because dealing with those kinds of issues early can be a lot easier and it would be in my daughter's best interest to have an easy time young than a harder time when she's older. I'm comfortable making a choice like that because I'm confident she'd want it and I know it would make a difference to do it younger. Also, the issue of crooked teeth goes beyond cosmetics. Very crooked teeth can be difficult to clean properly and can be lost earlier.

If my daughter had facial hair, I would be happy to allow her to have treatment for that, but I'd wait until I knew that was what she wanted to do. At 5, I don't think my daughter would care anyway.

Acne is generally post pubescent so, again, the child could decide, though I would advocate for it because acne can scar.

As for the ear thing, I guess it would depend on the specifics, but generally I'd wait until the child were old enough to be bothered by the ears, unless doing something earlier would make a difference in how hard it would be on the child to have something done.

[MarineWife]

Only if the child brought it up and wanted it. Then I would discuss it with the child and respect the child's wishes. I would not have essentially cosmetic surgery performed on a child without h** understanding and consent.

[alllyssa]

"I personally NEVER notice kids' ears, much less when I was a child."

This is because kids with large ears, like Augustine, do everything they can to HIDE them - no pony tails, no swimming, etc. It is so simple to correct and I think kids as young as about 10 can have them fixed.