EC support

[applecore]

I don't think there are many of us here, but I thought it would be nice to chat about how things are going.

I was sick yesterday, and it made a HUGE difference in how in tune I was! I got peed on 4 times! Oh, well. Good days and bad, right? Nighttime was really good, though. She is going much less frequently, so I actually felt rested today when I got up!

How is everyone else doing?

[nolonger]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!! I need to vent so bad.

Sometimes I think it's going well, other times I feel like a complete failure. I got peed on, as in directly on, for the first time last night, which was our colickiest night yet. When Terran or I gets that upset, the EC tends to just go out the window but this time almost seemed deliberate, as if he was mad at me for not recognizing his signals. I do, in retrospect, but it seems so insensitive to hold a crying, screaming, struggling baby over a sink trying to catch excrement instead of cuddling him and comforting him.

On the positive side, EC is making me so much more aware of the other ways he can communicate: he's not just a screaming baby in a car seat, he is able to subtly communicate whether I need to start looking for a nice place to pull over for awhile and nurse or whether I need to get off the freeway at the next exit NOW.

I love ECing when we're out and about; there are wet dipes to change, but he completely understands the cuing noise and "empties out" before I put the fresh dipe on and his little co-conspirator smiles are priceless. As fastidious as both of my boys are, I thought it would be much harder to introduce him to the idea of "examining the rear tire" at the peace march than it was, but I just held him slightly outside the car door, cued him, and he went. MUCH easier than trying to juggle all those body parts and/or change a dipe in a port-a-pottie.

I was hoping to be diaper free very quickly, but since things aren't working out that way I'd like to get to a state of equilibrium where we can still EC for fun and for whatever benefits it brings to our relationship without feeling so guilty about not being a perfect parent. This really is my second failure, since ds1 tried so hard to let me know that EC was possible and I HAD read The Continuum Concept by the time he was born, but for some reason I didn't think it was possible for an infant to communicate their needs in this way in a modern culture.

[applecore]

I try to be unattached to outcomes, and that seems to make things go much more smoothly. Every bit of EC is a positive thing. Even if you miss 80% of Terran's eliminations, you're still giving him opportunities, and catching some as well. You're doing a great job! Don't give up- he's still very young, and you guys have plenty of time to figure out each other's rhythms. Remember, many people don't even start until their babes are a few months old!

[FelixMom]

Third time around, ECing is going great whenever I catch something. My only regret is that I didn't know about EC until my first child was 4 months old. He got out of diapers by age 2 yrs. Started with DD when she was 2 weeks old and only recently clued in about telling me to go poop BEFORE it happens

With DS2, we started with him at the 2-3 week mark, but it's been hard to keep at it for more 10-15 minutes in a row (read: no nakey butt time) because I'm chasing around DD too...

The beauty of this ECing is seeing yet another side of my babe, and how he is different from DD at this stage. Or perhaps seeing the confidence and ability I've gained while ECing 3 kids all these years. Mind you, I keep them in dipes when not offering a potty-tunity most of the time because we have wall-to-wall carpeting here and it is a PITA to clean poops.

DS2 squirms in a certain way that has consistenty led to him producing something when held over the potty. I don't catch 100%, but I do get 50-90% of those explosive poops. Yay!!!

[firecat]

thanks for starting this! I keep meaning to get over to the ec forum but I don't get much time online lately

I don't do naked boy yet, not quite confident enough yet. although I wonder if going diaper free would help me learn his signals. on the other hand it might destroy my relaxed attitude...
so everytime i change him - relying on timing here - I offer a potty and also I try to watch for signals and potty him then too. the last few days have been better I have got most pees and a few poos.

how do you pee your boy so he doesn't go all over the toilet?! I have trouble aiming

today he was peeing and then he pooped but I didn't have his butt over the toilet (the aimimg thing!) so it went everywhere!! It was actually pretty funny...

I have noticed he is less fussy when i am being extra watchful for elim cues.

i also only do partial ec, only during the day. at night i am only concerned w/ sleep! i switch to sposies at night (cloth on the day) so hopefully that provides enough separation so he's not too confused. i'm planning on starting nighttime ec when he is sleeping longer stretches at night and i am not so sleep deprived.

[nolonger]

We've had some fussy nights and some totally out of synch schedules and expectations between the boys, so mama went on a bit of a "potty strike" for a few days but Terran put an end to that last night by pooping while I was nursing him and sitting on the toilet. He was definitely trying to tell me he didn't want to give up EC because today his signals were much clearer than usual and there was more smiles than tears while I juggled body parts at the sink and he wore the same dipe from the time we got off morning shift until we had to leave for night shift. I easily caught five pees!

With that kind of positive reinforcement from the baby, I'm going to keep on trying.

[applecore]

NOS, I'm glad you're going to keep trying! It sounds like Terran is, too!

I am starting to look at buying some infant sized training pants/ one wet pants for Twyla. It really feels like overkill to put a diaper on her when we go out because she doesn't usually go in it, and it's not fun juggling a diaper and cover in a public restroom. I was also wishing that we had tiny undies for home because we were changing gowns a lot due to little poop spots from when she would fart. But they are so expensive, so I got a prefold belt and use it with the premie prefolds I have. It works really well! I just pull the prefold out of the front to potty her, and then stick it back in when we're done. I love when I start to get a system going with things, and ECing is starting to work that way.

[nolonger]

I bought supplies for prefold belts for at home but haven't made them yet. We have three fitteds that we sometimes use for the same purpose but yes, juggling all those clothes (as well as all those body parts) is a large part of my problem. If Twyla's able to use premie prefolds then maybe Terran can get some more use out of his infant sized, which don't fit the covers that fit his butt any more. I'm still kicking myself for buying FOUR DOZEN of them! we're using squares cut from flannel sheets for diapers now and covers made from leftover fleece from my etsy biz so at least I'm not spending money on diapering.

Aiming him has gotten tougher, if anything, since he can achieve more range now. The appeal of the sink seems to be the mirror, since the kitchen sink didn't appeal to him yesterday and he just waited his turn for the bathroom.

The conspiratorial smiles are back too, since dd is the only one of the big kids who "sort of" knows our little secret and even she wouldn't be too happy about him using the sink.