Originally Posted by KBecks
Adults sometimes should say they are sorry even if they don't feel sorry, sometimes it's about manners and getting along with others more than their own feelings
FWIW, I do my best to avoid the company of anybody who I feel has offered me a false apology, for the sake of "manners" and I strongly disagree that adults "sometimes should" say sorry even if they don't feel sorry. I don't see apologies as being a manners issue, but a remorse issue. If someone has done or said something to me that hurt me, and they don't feel sorry, the sickening sugar coating of saying "I'm sorry" makes it worse
, not better. I've mentioned this before in this thread. Being on the receiving end of a "manners" apology makes me feel worse.
Is this what we want to teach our children - "go ahead and treat that person like crap, honey, but make sure you make it worse by offering a fake sorry afterwards, because that's polite"?
If someone tries to get along with me by saying sorry when they're not, then they've failed to get along with me. If I don't figure out that it's a fake apology, then we're in the realm of a relationship (be it friendship, co-worker, whatever) based on lies, and I don't go there.
IMO, saying "I'm sorry" if you're not is lying, pure and simple. It's not something I want to teach my kids, and I'm very
uncomfortable around people who have learned it.