Wanting to give up

[IntuitiveJamie]

I won't, but I really would like to. I have been nursing for two years straight at this point. I know that's not a big deal for some that nurse many more years than that, but so far that is my accomplishment. And honestly, I just don't enjoy it it that much. I've been thru struggles left and right with it. First child had terrible, disheartening issues first six weeks. Things got better and we did have a honeymoon period. But he did have to nurse every hour or two for just about forever. Then at 9 months when he got his top two teeth he started using them to nurse. Not bite, but to actually suck. He nursed like that for another 1 year until I weaned him. Teeth marks in the nipple EVERY time. His latch was so awful by the end and really the nursing relationship had become more of a constant battle b/c it was so awful for me. Baby two came along during that time and he is five months now. We have had thrush for 4 1/2 months out of the five. I just had a case of mastitis. Now he's teething and wants to nurse all day and night and I feel like my nipples are going to fall off. Not to mention all of the crazy elim diets I've done b/n the two babes for all kinds of food sensitivities.
I feel beat down at this point. I feel like I want my body back. I feel like I will never be able to nurse this one for two years, which is MY personal limit (please don't attack me I can't take it right now).
I won't quit b/c to me bfing is the only option. There is no choice, but that doesn't mean it's fun or even enjoyable in the least. In fact I pretty much hate doing it right now. I wish I had had break before nursing a seconed one. It's just too much.
Thanks for letting me get that out. I just feel so beat down about it.

[LolaPop]

I feel you sister, most of the time it sucks for me too because the latch is so painful and I have no idea how to fix it. I also get thrush and have had mastitis. Everyday I want to give up, but I won't.

I'm sorry and I hope it gets better.

[kimbersdawnly]

I'm sorry you're going through that. I've felt that way too. I had thrush and food allergies with my first, and plugged ducts, mastitis, recurring thrush, and now biting issues with my second.

Maybe you could pump and leave the kids at home one night just for a break? Sometimes it just helps to be able to feel like an individual for a moment; to have a first name again instead of just being "mama". Gives you a chance to want to go home to them.

Hang in there.