Doctor trying to retract son, need some help!

[Christian_mom]

I have been seeing the same doctor for quite some time, she sees my daughter and my infant son since birth. She delivered him (via c-section) and was really supportive in our decision not to circumcise him. Our son has been in for a few doctors visits with her and she's done great, just opening his diaper to look but never touching. I assumed all was well.

We took him in for his two month old check up and she reached for his penis, I told her that there is no reason for it to be retracted. She pulled his foreskin back a little bit and I put my hand on hers telling her to please stop as it was not necessary (I'm a bit of a push over, probably should have been more aggressive here). It did not appear to hurt my son, he didn't cry or seem to notice and it was not retracted very far. And it doesn't look like any damage was done. I was/am very upset/unnerved about it still.

The doc gave me some line of crap about she's not retracting it, she's looking at his urethra and if we don't do this periodically, the skin will fuse and he will require later surgery.

I would like to bring in some literature for her and her office about this issue. Bear in mind that I don't really have a choice but to continue seeing her as she's the only doctor in the area (we don't even have a doc in our county) and I do like her and the atmosphere of her office.

She made it clear that she knows not to retract his foreskin but I am really uncomfortable with her (or anyone else, myself included) touching it. How can I convey this to her? I like the Intact Care Agreement but it seems a bit harsh. Anyone have any good links?

Thanks so much.

[alegna]

Tell her she's not allowed to touch his penis. Period.

You could even go so far as not taking his diaper off at all.

-Angela

[paquerette]

Obviously she is not clear on what "retraction" means. : I agree, I would not let her touch his penis again. If she asks why, just tell her that last time you told her not to retract him she did anyway, and you're not sure if she can follow your instructions.

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Really, it will fuse??? My husband was NEVER retracted, has had no surgeries and well, his penis works and looks just FINE!
WHAT AN IDIOT...

Tell her his diaper area is off limits. She has no right to touch it. There is no reason to. If there was an issue with it, you would seek help. There is no issue, she needs not touch or look at it.

[veganf]

Tell her that YOU are well educated about proper intact penis care and you know that what she said is simply not true, and that you'd prefer her to leave his penis alone; if there is a problem YOU will be sure to bring it to her attention.

[NaturalMindedMomma]

Originally Posted by veganf

Tell her that YOU are well educated about proper intact penis care and you know that what she said is simply not true, and that you'd prefer her to leave his penis alone; if there is a problem YOU will be sure to bring it to her attention.

[thixle]

You can also contact Doctors Opposing Circumcision-- they have lots of good info they would be happy to share with a fellow doctor.

But, I agree- she's seen the urethra, she knows he doesn't have any of the common malformations of the penis. There is no reason for her to see it again. Unless you tell her there is a problem. I'd keep the diaper on from now on.

she's looking at his urethra and if we don't do this periodically, the skin will fuse and he will require later surgery

Maybe she is confusing this with meatal stenosis? Scar tissue that develops in circ'ed boys... if you have a really high circ rate in your area, that may be what she is thinking... maybe.

[Christian_mom]

Originally Posted by thixle

Maybe she is confusing this with meatal stenosis? Scar tissue that develops in circ'ed boys... if you have a really high circ rate in your area, that may be what she is thinking... maybe.

This is what I thought as well. And yes, I'm assuming there would be a high rate of circ'ed boys around here.

Thanks to all. I will just keep the diaper area off limits from now on. Although I really wish I had something to give her. Like I said, she doesn't think she's retracting it so giving her stuff about not retracting it might not work.

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

You can print out the AAP intact care guide that planly states no retraction. http://www.medem.com/search/article_..._typ=NAV_SERCH

[tiffer23]

I'd just refuse to take his diaper off. I honestly don't think what she is doing will hurt him. My son's will go that far back without any issues. BUT, I would never allow some doctor to check that. There is no reason to retract it at all, and it will not fuse together or anything. That's just... uneducated.

My son was completely retracted by a doctor at 4 months, and he seems okay, he actually never flinched or fussed at all. Tore me up though and I switched doctors immediately. It just happened before I could stop it. Another doctor tried to retract him at 18 months and I stopped him and he actually fought with me about it! We left him immediately as well. Most doctors just have no idea.

[Frankly Speaking]

Originally Posted by Christian_mom

The doc gave me some line of crap about she's not retracting it, she's looking at his urethra and if we don't do this periodically, the skin will fuse and he will require later surgery.

She made it clear that she knows not to retract his foreskin but I am really uncomfortable with her (or anyone else, myself included) touching it. How can I convey this to her? I like the Intact Care Agreement but it seems a bit harsh. Anyone have any good links?

She is looking for meatal stenosis. She is unaware that meatal stenosis just doesn't happen to intact boys and that it is a complication of circumcision. Just tell her that intact boys do not get meatal stenosis so there is no need to check him for it, he doesn't have it and will never have it. This will probably come as a surprise to her and maybe will prompt her to do some research. If you want some research to give her, go to www.cirp.org and type "meatal stenosis" into the search block. You'll find several articles to choose from.


Frank

[KBecks]

I would say, you may not touch his penis. Repeat as necessary. You don't have to debate her on the issues. Just reiterate that she does not have your permission to touch his privates, period. If she gives you a lot of crap, find a new doc.

[Christian_mom]

Thanks to all. I found a couple of things to print out where it says that the 'intact penis works best when left alone'.

I will definitely arm myself with that print out and the one from the AAP each and every time I go in and remind her that she may look but not touch.

Who would have though this would be such an issue.

Thanks again!!!

[rmzbm]

Just another voice saying I wouldn't even take his diaper off...and I'd tell her why, last time she didn't listen. Good luck!