I'm sorry to be such a downer but I'm in a really bad mood today and need to vent and have no one to talk to
So, today was supposed to be my midwife appt...so I tell dh I want to sleep early since I have to wake up so early to drive him to his carpool meeting place so I can get the car ...so I head to bed early, but NOOOOOOOOOOOO dh wants to talk and be silly for about an hour, talking nonsense, cracking jokes, and I'm repeatedly telling him I want to sleep, please stop talking etc etc..so I sleep more than an hour later than I wanted to...
THEN I have to wake up at 7:30am to get myself and the kids ready while he gets ready for work (it's FREEZING cold out btw--i HATE cold and even more I HATE cold mornings when I need to be out and I"m dead tired), get them in the car, no one's had breakfast because I literally put on jackets while they were still sleeping..so whatever we drop him off by 8:30am and head back home so we can eat/get dressed for the appointment.
The entire time we are driving I'm having running thoughts in my head like I'm so depressed, I'm so pissed off, why the hell didn't he leave me alone last night so i can get some sleep, no one even cares that I'm growing this baby and dead tired and having other health issues on top of it all, I have no help, the 2 babysitters I actually trusted are busy with school/work etc., can't ask my parents, my inlaws are willing but not able (ride issues), i'm so angry, i need to be on antidepressants, *he* should be on antidepressants, then on top of that I feel guilty because he's totally not being a jerk, he helps with the kids etc. i'm just ticked that I live in timbucktoo with no car and no access to a babysitter (trust me i've tried, no one wants to drive all the way out here).
so anyway, we get home and I check the phone and there is a message from the receptionist that my appointment is CANCELLED for today!!!
edited to add, this wouldnt be such a HUGE deal except for the fact that I showed antibodies to the baby in my bloodwork at the last appointment and my midwife told me it's extremely importnat that I have my appointment exactly 1 month to the day of my last appt to check the antibody levels again. so ya i'm worried and have been anticipating this appt so I can find out what the hell is going on and now I have to do all this again tomorrow morning because of hte car issue. where is that bang ur head on the wall smiley anyway!?!?
i feel a little better after venting. i'll shut up now