I am sorry to inform you that dd(20mo) will not be able to visit your home until you put a childproof lock on the lever door handles you have on your front and garage doors. Dd was easily able to open the lever style on the pantry and the bathroom when we visited yesterday and I remember a time last year when Cousin J (age 2 at the time) walked right out the front door (and nobody knew). I have bought you these lever locks in the past and you never installed them so this time I am completely willing to do it myself. If you don't want me to install these locks we are very happy to have you over to our house, meet at the park or go on a hike together but we will be unable to visit your home until dd is old enough to understand street safety and has the self restraint not to go exploring in the garage or front yard by herself.
things that I would love to say but will not....
If Cousin J is standing at your side and crying because she wants to "love gamma" and you are too "busy" playing Scrabble so you kinda hug her say i love you too but im too busy don't be surprised if I immediately pick J up and if im glaring sorry but that was complete BS right there
Nope dd can't play with regular brand name play dough or walmart bubbles sorry and even though i said yeah maybe next year that'll be a no too, NOW homemade play dough with organic food coloring(provided by me) sure but neon orange no thanks
DON'T BUY ANYMORE FREAKING TOYS.... I don't care if there is 1 Melissa and Doug and a bunch of other plastic crap the point is WE DON'T NEED ANY MORE TOYS ALL TOYS FROM THIS POINT ON ARE GOING TO GOODWILL over:
Is my letter too harsh? Would you make any changes? TIA