For crying out loud!
Treqi, I've been following your thread and your posts. I, for one, do NOT think you are out of line in feeling that your child should be safe when you go to visit your IL's.
I think whether or not you expect their house to be proofed for children would depend on how often you visit. From your posts, it sounds like you visit them fairly often.
When you are close enough to your family to visit them very often, you are more than just a "guest in their house". I'm sorry, I don't understand this forum sometimes, I just had the OPPOSITE arguments thrown at me in another thread about how grandma's house SHOULD be equipped for the grandkids. Sometimes it gets ridiculous in here!
(Ok...simmering down the pregancy hormones...........breathe.......just breathe.....)
Ok. As I said, I know what it's like to be absolutely miserable in some one else's home because of my child, whom, to me, seems to be a tad bit oppositional and difficult. I don't know what your child is like.
But I know mine. Right now, he is CONSTANTLY CONSTANTLY testing his boundaries. Constantly. Looking for every power struggle he can find. AS SOON as he were to find I don't want him to go near the door, he'd do exactly that just to play tricks on me. I mean, I DO watch my child. But come on, people! There ARE times when we are visiting when we have to turn around for a SPLIT SECOND, grab a spoon, or use the toilet, or some such. My child LIVES FOR THESE OPPORTUNITIES.
For me, though, the difference is, everyone else in the home is on him like a hawk the moment I turn around for something. He can't get a chance sneak and do something wrong, because other people are actually watching him.
To me, it sounds like this is not the case in your MIL's house. It sounds like her mind is often on other things.
It is very difficult to have to watch a kid ever milisecond of ever minute in some one else's house. There are new "things" a kid can find that you'd never have out available at your own home. You have to watch a kid doubly overtime at some one else's house than you do at your own house, because you know your house well.
If it were MY parents, my mom would have SCARED HERSELF INTO buying a safety doohickey for the door if any of the itty bitty grandkids made it outside by themselves without anyone's knowledge. That's a pretty freaky incident. And she doesn't even live anywhere near a street, she lives way back in the country back away from the road. It's still scary.
For me, and my child, child safety doohickeys = gentle discipline. He's NOT going to stop doing what you don't want him to do until you put up some sort of mechanism there to keep him from doing it. Once he knows he can't do it, then he'll settle down into something he can enjoy.
If it's not there, then visits would become not really worth it, because I would be constantly fighting with him and unable to enjoy myself.
As I said, if it were somewhere were you on occassion, then yes, it would be unreasonable.
But if these people felt it in their heart enough that they see you guys enough to donate a whole room into a play room for the kids, then it's pretty lame and ridiculous and plain mean for them to not put two simple doohickeys on the door for the same kids that they felt it necessary to donate a room to.
It's stupid in imho.
*disclaimer. these words may be tainted with pure hormones."
Anyhow, my $.02