several years till I might really belong here...

[zejh]

(I think the post should be on-topic here, but as for myself...)
So, first things first... Bit of an intro... My name is Emily, and not only don't I have any children yet, but I'm currently a public school teacher... (well, technically, a sub, but I've had a lot of extended assignments, even year-long) That said, years ago I had decided that I wanted to homeschool when I had my own children--too many reasons for one post, though the academic ones were first (too weak a lot of the time, too inflexible other times, and sometimes both weak and inflexible), but the social reasons are also a big reason. But that's not really my point in this post.

What's been bothering me lately is that I haven't actually told anyone I'm interested in doing this, not even my fiance--anybody else, I figure it's none of their business, even if they're a close friend, but when it comes to the future father of my children, well, that's obviously a different matter. I'm just not sure how to bring it up in conversation, even when the topic is school--we're at minimum a year away from having our first child, but he'll talk about one school district vs another. I've only had guts enough so far to bring up private schools and charter schools as options, but the fact is, even if there were a nearly ideal school available, what I'd really like is to have is flexibility. One thing I have gotten his word on is that once we have kids, I can stay home to take care of them, so at least that part won't be a hurdle. I suppose if it weren't for his bringing up the subject, I'd just wait around till the oldest was 4 or 5 and then bring up the topic, but on the other hand, it would be rather nice to have the issue settled early on...

Any advice, experience, whatever?

[elizawill]

my dh and i are comfortable talking about the uncomfortable with one another, so i'd just bring it up imo. why not say..."i really want to homeschool when we have kids. what are your feelings about that? would you be open to it & let me research it?".

and that's that.

you know your fiance best, so approach him in time and manner that you feel he would be most receptive. good luck mama-to-be!

[zejh]

Originally Posted by elizawill

my dh and i are comfortable talking about the uncomfortable with one another, so i'd just bring it up imo. why not say..."i really want to homeschool when we have kids. what are your feelings about that? would you be open to it & let me research it?".

and that's that.

you know your fiance best, so approach him in time and manner that you feel he would be most receptive. good luck mama-to-be!

Well, one thing I know about him is that if I used the word "feelings", the whole conversation would be over (and possibly the wedding... mostly kidding there. He does have issue with the word, but only the word.)

But, yeah, honestly, it sounds so silly of me to be worrying about it and not just bring it up. I guess I'm worried mostly because of how he reacted when I mentioned reading that hospitals aren't really that safe for birth (I was just reading research abstracts, and he felt the need to lecture me about how I should be reading research and not going on opinion.) Suffice to say, I'm a bit afraid of conflict. (At the same time, I don't know when to stop when I let myself start...)

[momtokea]

I would casually talk to him about some of the negative things that go on in your classroom, and on the playground. Then say something like: "Wow, I can't imagine our child being exposed to that or being in that situation. It would be so harmful to him/her."

Tell him about the educational research you've been doing and how, surprisingly, homeschooling comes out on top every time.

I taught special ed for nine years before I had children, and while I was pregnant with my first I was dealing with some social issues in my classroom and I kept thinking "I don't want my baby in this."

When my oldest was about 4 I started looking into homeschooling in my area and sharing what I found with dh. He was impressed that homeschoolers get together for all kinds of cool activities and field trips. More cool stuff than he or I ever got to do sitting in a classroom.

He wasn't too thrilled with the idea at first but he agreed to let me try it. The schools will always be there if we need them. Now, 4 years into homeschooling, he thinks it's great!

Good Luck!

[tallanvor]

I like what elizawill said. And if your fiance shuts down at the word feelings, then don't use it. Just ask him his opinion on it and if he's willing to consider it after doing some research. And you don't really need to rush through it, either, as you have several years still before you necessarily have to know what you're going to do.

[zejh]

I've mostly taught high school, but I've had a few elementary stints this year--so far nothing bad on the playground, but it's more the little things like having to eat the food they serve or having to wait for the bathroom or quite simply the lack of flexibility--if I were doing my job making sure my kids get what they need in even a good school system, I'd be spending nearly as much time and mental energy as simply homeschooling in the first place...

I'll update more when I actually have a chance to discuss this all with him...

Originally Posted by momtokea

I would casually talk to him about some of the negative things that go on in your classroom, and on the playground. Then say something like: "Wow, I can't imagine our child being exposed to that or being in that situation. It would be so harmful to him/her."

Tell him about the educational research you've been doing and how, surprisingly, homeschooling comes out on top every time.

I taught special ed for nine years before I had children, and while I was pregnant with my first I was dealing with some social issues in my classroom and I kept thinking "I don't want my baby in this."

When my oldest was about 4 I started looking into homeschooling in my area and sharing what I found with dh. He was impressed that homeschoolers get together for all kinds of cool activities and field trips. More cool stuff than he or I ever got to do sitting in a classroom.

He wasn't too thrilled with the idea at first but he agreed to let me try it. The schools will always be there if we need them. Now, 4 years into homeschooling, he thinks it's great!

Good Luck!

[zejh]

Originally Posted by tallanvor

I like what elizawill said. And if your fiance shuts down at the word feelings, then don't use it. Just ask him his opinion on it and if he's willing to consider it after doing some research. And you don't really need to rush through it, either, as you have several years still before you necessarily have to know what you're going to do.

Yeah, I am pretty sure time is on my side on this. Worst case scenario (in terms of my willingness to bring up the subject) he has 5 or 6 years to pick up on my subtle hints...