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keeping baby in a wrap usually works to. gl!!
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Originally Posted by StrawberryFields
 It's weird but I don't mind it when my family and friends hold the baby but I feel all anxious and mama bear when my ILs do. I like my ILs just fine other than normal in-law personality differences and I love to send ds over there... but when it comes to holding Charlotte I instinctively hog her to myself around them.
For me the best way to keep people from holding the baby is to keep her in my arms and never offer her to anyone. I don't mind people touching and talking to her but when it comes down to it she is a person, not a toy, so I try to keep it to a minimum if she seems uncomfortable. |
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Originally Posted by StrawberryFields
It's weird but I don't mind it when my family and friends hold the baby but I feel all anxious and mama bear when my ILs do. I like my ILs just fine other than normal in-law personality differences and I love to send ds over there... but when it comes to holding Charlotte I instinctively hog her to myself around them.
For me the best way to keep people from holding the baby is to keep her in my arms and never offer her to anyone. I don't mind people touching and talking to her but when it comes down to it she is a person, not a toy, so I try to keep it to a minimum if she seems uncomfortable. |
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Originally Posted by Jezzy
Me too! I even found myself grinding my teeth together whem mil snatched her away from dh! It makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up when she kisses her ot talks to her and what is the deal with sticking her fingers in or around her mouth to see if she is hungry???? You know what the worse part is?? They are our neighbors!!! Every sunday dh takes dd from me and says that he is going to Omas! When I say not without me he gets mad at me. I don't care, I know that he went over there once with her and left her with them for a few min. alone and I HATE that. I wish that we lived in a different town then it wouldn't be *expected* of us to come over all the time. I feel like a surrogate for grannies. It is really bad.
I wonder why we are like this StrawberryFields and GreenRose I would actually rather let a stranger hold her than my ils! |
), and have a planned response for, "can I hold her?" I always tell people, "actually I'd really prefer you not right now. I'm very careful of germs since she was a preemie. I'd hate for her to get sick at this young age." If people approach her in the sling and try to touch I just say, "Gracie was born premature and I'm very very careful about germs so I'd prefer you not touch but I'll pull down the edge of the sling for you to look at her. isn't she beautiful?" Usually if you show your baby to people and mention that you are being overcareful about germs and cold and flu season they back off. Engaging them in a conversation about how gorgeous your young person is usually helps distract. Kinda like toddlers. Distract and redirect!
DP's family all live around here so it was over to one of his grandmother's, to the other grandmother's, then to his dad's. One side of his family was fine, and I'm much more acquainted with them, but the other side.... well, prepare for a long rant!
Finally, DP took her back, said again that we were going to feed her and handed her back to me. And while all this is going on, the grandmother is telling DD that "You are not making a very good impression, little missy!"
I was so shocked! She didn't get her head and started to hold her out on her back, after having taken her across the room.. I thought I was going to throw up, luckily an aunt who was a life-saver the entire time we were there grabbed DD and told grandmother that she needed to support her head. Unfortunately grandmother thinks she IS supporting her fine and SHE knows how to hold / take care of a baby! At one point she put DD on her tummy across her knees, and her fingers were pressing on DD's throat and she started turning bright red.. Again, the aunt was right there and took her away.. this entire time DD is still screaming. I finally managed to get her back, and just went to the kitchen where I finally calmed her down enough to latch. I kept her at the boob as long as I could.. grandmother stood right in front of me and waited and stared at me the ENTIRE time she nursed.
She couldn't remember anything said to her, or what she'd said, 30 seconds later. She was getting mad that people were taking baby from her and telling her what to do with a babe. She totally does not accept that she's not really in very good condition, or that anything is wrong, for that matter. She just kept taking the baby.. I was so mad at DP for not getting us out of there.. I barely know any of these people, I know I should have stood up to them more, but I was so shocked and thrown off, and I kept hoping DP would do something more because they're his family and he was nearly as stressed as I was! I felt so physically ill by the time we left And up until then I had been feeling so bad that her great-grandma hadn't seen her yet even though we live so close! Well next time, if there IS a next time (I don't want to bring her back until she has perfect head control, it was so scary!) I'll be ready to be a complete a-hole to anyone I need to be 
I feel like I horribly let DD down by not standing up for her more... It hurt so much hearing her cry for so long about something that could of been / should have been taken care of.|
Originally Posted by Jezzy
You know what the worse part is?? They are our neighbors!!! Every sunday dh takes dd from me and says that he is going to Omas! When I say not without me he gets mad at me. I don't care, I know that he went over there once with her and left her with them for a few min. alone and I HATE that. I wish that we lived in a different town then it wouldn't be *expected* of us to come over all the time
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I guess this weekend really got me wound up 
I do feel a little better now, though! Even if no one reads it all 
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Originally Posted by Juise
I hadn't had a problem yet until easter
DP's family all live around here so it was over to one of his grandmother's, to the other grandmother's, then to his dad's. One side of his family was fine, and I'm much more acquainted with them, but the other side.... well, prepare for a long rant!When we got there she was hungry and starting to fuss, which we stated when we walked in the door, but as we started to unpack her from her car seat and get her winter bear suit off, an aunt took her from DP to get her all out herself! Then the grandmother took DD from her, meanwhile she's crying, and it becomes apparent that grandmother has too bad of arthritis in her hands to really know what she's doing. DD has pretty good head control for her age, but not THAT good! I almost had a panic attack, I said again that she was hungry and that I wanted to feed her, I went to take her and grandmother just turned around and started passing her around to all the family, holding her, taking pictures, and DD is screaming her lungs out! Finally, DP took her back, said again that we were going to feed her and handed her back to me. And while all this is going on, the grandmother is telling DD that "You are not making a very good impression, little missy!"I tried to nurse her then, but no one would give me any privacy and DD was so worked up, she needed to be calmed down from screaming before she could nurse, so I took her away from the boob to try to calm her down and the grandmother came and snatched her away from me, saying she obviously wasn't hungry! I was so shocked! She didn't get her head and started to hold her out on her back, after having taken her across the room.. I thought I was going to throw up, luckily an aunt who was a life-saver the entire time we were there grabbed DD and told grandmother that she needed to support her head. Unfortunately grandmother thinks she IS supporting her fine and SHE knows how to hold / take care of a baby! At one point she put DD on her tummy across her knees, and her fingers were pressing on DD's throat and she started turning bright red.. Again, the aunt was right there and took her away.. this entire time DD is still screaming. I finally managed to get her back, and just went to the kitchen where I finally calmed her down enough to latch. I kept her at the boob as long as I could.. grandmother stood right in front of me and waited and stared at me the ENTIRE time she nursed.We were there for HOURS, I was so mad at everything... grandma is not hearing well, remembering well, cannot feel her stiff hands, I didn't know what to do She couldn't remember anything said to her, or what she'd said, 30 seconds later. She was getting mad that people were taking baby from her and telling her what to do with a babe. She totally does not accept that she's not really in very good condition, or that anything is wrong, for that matter. She just kept taking the baby.. I was so mad at DP for not getting us out of there.. I barely know any of these people, I know I should have stood up to them more, but I was so shocked and thrown off, and I kept hoping DP would do something more because they're his family and he was nearly as stressed as I was! I felt so physically ill by the time we left And up until then I had been feeling so bad that her great-grandma hadn't seen her yet even though we live so close! Well next time, if there IS a next time (I don't want to bring her back until she has perfect head control, it was so scary!) I'll be ready to be a complete a-hole to anyone I need to be I feel like I horribly let DD down by not standing up for her more... It hurt so much hearing her cry for so long about something that could of been / should have been taken care of.Well, thanks for reading, anyone who actually made it through that... The house we live in my MIL runs a daycare out of all day, although she lives elsewhere.. I know how that feels. I hate being stuck here with her, even though really I do like her as a person. But I am VERY sick of having to justify all our decisions to her, we always get into a huge row.. well.. she gets mad and screams at me, anyway.. I don't really argue that way.. but at least after she's been presented with the facts and has a night to sleep on it, she usually agrees or accepts it. Except for swaddling. She thinks DD needs to be swaddled ALL THE TIME, which I totally do not want / need to do. She tells me she won't gain weight properly, bla bla bla even though she's been gaining perfectly, but *she* always had *her* kids swaddled *all* the time, even when changing their diapers she would wrap a blanket tight around their waist, here let me show you how to wrap a baby, I know how to wrap a baby, I'm going to show you anyway, grrrrr....... Wow I am really on a rampage today! I swear I'm not really an angry person! I guess this weekend really got me wound up I do feel a little better now, though! Even if no one reads it all |
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Originally Posted by Logan's mommy
Just popping in with my two cents, I NEVER touch someone's newborn. Unless it's family or close friends. I work in retail and know how nasty money is and with it being flu season I wouldn't want to run the risk of getting someone else's child sick.
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Originally Posted by Jezzy
I wonder why we are like this StrawberryFields and GreenRose I would actually rather let a stranger hold her than my ils! |
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Originally Posted by Jezzy
She EXPECTS to have my baby alone, when Ash was 2 weeks old she wanted to take her for a walk. I told her to take the dog. I don't know why she has to have her alone, what is she going to do when I am not there?
I don't think that it helps that I was abused as a child from a babysitter. I just can't get dh to get it. He is starting to get really mad at my reactions. |
I'm glad you stand up for yourself and your baby, don't ever feel like you are unjustified. It's your baby, no one but you and your DH have any rights to her. If I feel like DP is even sarcastic about my reactions to things that are important to me, it hurts. After it gets to me I usually just tell him pretty much that, I'm upset at the way I feel like you're treating the situation, it is important to me, this is why, and even if you don't agree, please try to be understanding of me and respect my feelings.. that's usually enough 
good luck 
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Originally Posted by StrawberryFields
OK vent over LOL I think I got a little carried away there.
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