I think i have a purging problem - Page 2

[brittneyscott]

If I started labeling stuff DH would slap me. I do label some things like the craft supplies stored in boxes. If I labeled his sock drawer he would freak though.

[Amys1st]

Originally Posted by socialworkmamma

How, please tell me how you ladies all do this??? How is nothing sacred? I really need to know. I want to purge and declutter, but everytime I start to make some headway, my sentimental attatchment kicks in, and I freeze. Any and all advice appreciated.

First, invite the OP to come live with you.

or

Why feeling sentimental? IS it over outgrown toys or clothing or other items? Find things that can fit in a small box for each member and that can be your sentimental box. Everything else is fair game.

The Decluttering Questions:

Do I love this item?

Have I used it in the past year?

Is it really garbage?

Do I have another one that better?

Does it have sentimental value that causes me to love it?

Does it give me guilt and make me sad when I see it?

What does this represent?

Why am I afraid to get rid of it?

How long am I going to carry it around?

Does it bless my fmaily? Could it bless someone else's family?

I know pople who have these printed out and carry them with while decuttering. I myslef would pick an item, and then read through the questions. I have gotten rid of a ton of stuff on "How long am I going to carry it around."

[Caneel]

Originally Posted by farmlife

Purging issues over here. Dh asked that I keep the toothbrushes Funny thing is I notice lately he has gone through and purged through his items. House is easier and easier to keep clean.

Mine too! I am slowly crawling toward a decluttered house and at first he accused me (in a teasing way) to throwing EVERYTHING away.

Just the other day, he actually got excited about helping me declutter his closet.

I purged old pictures too. I sat down next to the shredder and started feeding the lame ones into it as I saved the good ones.

[Ninibini]

purging issue here too

HA HA...I laughed hard when I read your post. I ask myself the same thing all the time. I can spend an entire day organizing and ridding my house of un-used things, and by bedtime I am questioning things I kept. I have such a desire to simplify and live minimally without materialistic things that I too only want what is sacred in my home. What really represents who I am. Nonetheless, like the last post, I too get sentimental and keep things for that very reason. Although, I find the next time I organize, I'm okay with letting something go that 2 weeks before I couldn't part with. Weird!

[lillydilly]

I was hanging onto some things my Mum gave me that were her mother's. I thought I should keep them because they were so old, therefore maybe rare, therefore maybe valuable, even though I thought they were rather ugly.
Out of curiosity one day I did a search on Ebay for the same things, just to get an idea of value. Shock horror! There they were on Ebay for not very much money, and quite a few of them. I donated them in the give away bag happily
Every time I want to de-clutter stuff, DH says, "but if people didn't keep stuff, how would we ever have museums". Fair enough, I suppose, but I'll leave that to the people who like living among a lot of things, and I'd rather visit a museum than live in one. He saw someone's terrific collecton of old matchbox cars from back when they first were made, and then suggested our boys should have kept all theirs, because if someone doesn't, history will be lost etc etc.
I really need a good come back for this. I just ask him does he want to end up in a few hundred years, like Tutenkamen, with his treasures on the cover of National Geographic, but still dead? and that my life's too short to worry about museums in the year 3000.
Not a good come-back. Anyone got a better one?

[Turquesa]

Originally Posted by lillydilly

I'd rather visit a museum than live in one.

This on it's own is a pretty good comeback. Those old cars WILL end up somewhere. And no matter where Somewhere is, there's always the hope that they'll be discovered and curated.

Reassure Dp that even if it's a landfill, archaelogists will probably dig them up anyway.... after sifting through mounds of disposable diapers and "obsolete" computers. Our generation has produced enough tchotchkes that future historians should have no questions as to how we once lived!

[Caneel]

I printed off Amys1st list and taped it to the linen closet last night.

I have been able to tackle the everyday areas but I know our household challenge will be getting rid of the "treasures" that are currently in the attic and basement (out of sight, out of mind)

DH husband thinks his old Jim Bean whiskey bottles are worth so much money. I searched EBay and the exact same bottles are listed for $2 or less. Unfortunately, I am going to have to prove him wrong in order to get rid of some of the stuff.

[Danidama]

If no one here has read the book It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh, go get it right now! It's the best book ever. I absolutely love it. I just finished reading it for the second time in 6 months (I never remember books and movies; my brain just does. not. like to store them for some reason.). It goes through every room in the whole house and everything you need to do to clear it out of all the stuff you don't need, use or love. This book is SO much fun to read!

OP:
I am EXACTLY the same way. It's gotten to the point where I think about it every day, and wonder what areas I might be able to "do over" (for the 4th time). Since my daughter was born a little over two years ago, I've become a total neatnick and Love to purge stuff. Nothing is sacred is totally how I feel, too.

The bad part is that my husband keeps -everything-. Since he ends up with so much paper/computer stuff boxes/crapola in his computer area, I just try to keep it halfway organized-- not for him, for ME! I can't stand the mess. I'm sitting in the middle of it right now and I wish all the flat surfaces were clear and clean and everything had a place and the millions of random tiny objects were gone! But it's his area, and I can only hope that he'll come around one of these days and see the light, heh. He's still stuck in the "It's too valuable/I might need it someday" way of thinking. I could go on forever about this stuff. :-p

The major things I still want to do are consolidate our 600 dvds into cases, alphabetically... that will take a while; I wish it was done now! I have them all in a closet on their stands, because my daughter loves messing with them. Matter of fact, it's about time to go through them all (again) and donate the ones that we don't like anymore. My daughter loves to help fill up Donation Bags. :-p

The greatest thing out of all of my crazy neatnick/purge-o-holic/cleaning madness is that our house looks BEAUTIFUL. It's so clean and simple and gorgeous. It's so incredibly relaxing and calm here now. There isn't clutter everywhere. Everything is clean and organized. I feel like I can do anything! I also feel like we have so much time to enjoy our lives and go and do things and have family experiences together. I'm taking my dd to the National Aquarium next week. :^D I'm so excited!

[Ninibini]

I printed the decluttering questions and plan to start putting them to use tommorrow! Thanks!

[lillydilly]

Danidama, Yay, you said it so well. Every now and then I walk around our home, and pretend it's a holiday unit or health spa that I've booked into for a holiday, and I try to see it through the eyes of a paying guest. Really helps me sort out what's just clutter and what looks serene and balanced. I've always loved the feel and look of motel rooms, just because they're so uncluttered, and I'm always drawn to photos of those Eastern meditation rooms with 2 mats and a table. No, our house doesn't look like that LOL, but so often visitors comment on how serene and "relaxing" it feels. Some have even said, they feel like they're on holidays or something.
And like you too, my DH... well, let's not even GO there. Fortunately (or maybe not so fortunately LOL) he has a big shed, and he can keep all his stuff in there. He's a real handyman so i don't complain too much. I helped him go through a lot of stuff yesterday to give away, and once he saw the space opening up, well, I think he must be starting to like the idea of less. Even as I'm typing this, I can hear him over there now moving stuff around. I might just back the trailer in there for him before he changes his mind.

[transformed]

Originally Posted by socialworkmamma

How, please tell me how you ladies all do this??? How is nothing sacred? I really need to know. I want to purge and declutter, but everytime I start to make some headway, my sentimental attatchment kicks in, and I freeze. Any and all advice appreciated.

I start with thiniking of the things I want to have in my house, not the lack of stuff that I want to get rid of.

For example, A year ago I decided I only need 4 place settings. I am thrilled with that decision. I have 4 plates, 4 bowls, etc.

I decided I need 2 spatulas, and 3 whisks.

I have one extra set of sheets for each bed.

(Make sense?)

Decide what you do need.

Everything else can GO!



(dontcha love smilies. )

[Jyotsna]

Children's Art Work, Essays ect

I have three kids, and all three of them have done something special along the way, in school, and now while homeschooling. I really want to keep it all, but the other part of me wants to toss it. I would feel so guilty tossing it. However, sitting by my back door right now is a pile of the above mentioned, and it's really bugging me, since I don't have a place to keep it. What do you do with your children's artwork and essays?

Thanks

[sunnysandiegan]

Jyotsna - I have one child, but here's what we do:

She puts her artwork/whatever on the fridge first thing when it comes in the door of our home. When the next one comes in, she takes down the current one. Decision time: Do I love this soooo much I need to keep it? If so, she puts it in her bedroom in a specific place. If not, she decides to either throw it out or send it off to a relative. If *I* love it and she does not, then I put it in my 'to be scrapbooked' envelope.

When the next item is loved so much it goes up to her bedroom, she has to decide about the current item. Decision time: Do I love this soooo much I want to keep it? If not, it either gets thrown out or mailed to a relative. (If *I* love it, then I put it in the 'to be scrapbooked' envelope.) If she does love it, I have her write something directly on it (details about the item or why she loves it or whatever seems appropriate at the time) or on a separate paper (depending on the item) and it then goes into the 'to be scrapbooked' envelope.

I keep three 'to be scrapbooked' envelopes per year now. They are not evenly distributed by months, but rather by amount of 'kept' items over the course of time. (For us, these time frames are 1/1 through DD's birthday/party, whichever comes last; day after birthday/party through day before school starts; day school starts through 12/31.) I used to keep these envelopes in the closet with the 'to be scrapbooked' photographs and so forth. However, that resulted in a big pile on my desk all the time. So, now I have the envelope in our paper trays on the computer desk. DD & DH know where it is and add things on their own.

For oversized items, I have a separate large envelope for flat art in our office and bulky items go into a clear box (for me) or file box (DD's items) in our master bedroom closet. The contents of my box have been pared down to only the most sentimental items I own. I got it at The Container Store on sale last year around this time. I believe they call it a magazine box. It isn't very deep, but it holds record albums at a slight angle. I have less than a dozen items in my box now.

[MommyHawk]

Hey, I'm thinking of moving to Temecula!!!

And I too have the same purge-problem. I'm actually looking forward to this coming week - purge week!!! I do in-home daycare and at times I feel I should keep all the toys...but when they don't treat them with respect and break/loose pieces or don't even 'play' with the stuff (just dump them on the floor) I get sooo fed up with it all! There is just NO need to have this much stuff. I love to purge, looking forward to doing it with the toys this week, and wish I could just 'let go' of some of the personal attachment so I could REALLY purge!

Maybe we could get together for ideas of what else to purge

[Surfacing]

: subbing to come back and print out the questions

[hellyaellen]

not that i don't still have work to do in my own home but....

this weekend i visited my dad and i was so tired when i got home. from mentally de-cluttering his house

i do have to buy kurt some more undies though so i can toss the holey ones.

[Bad Horse]

I was wondering the same thing as the OP a while back there, and I was actually going to my friends' houses and organizing their stuff. I ended up taking a few paid jobs doing it, too.

Then I got pregnant and between the exhaustion and morning sickness of the first trimester and severe SPD and just less energy I even let my house go a little. I'm at 25 weeks now and I think some nesting is starting to kick in.

Right now I have a big pile of stuff in my living room that has been purged over the last few days, and have had a few things already picked up that were freecycled. We purged our bookshelves, which is so nice. I was able to move an entire large shelf from the dining room that was taking up way too much room into the boys' room to replace their very small bookshelf since we got rid of so many books. I worked a bit on my closet (I have to keep up on that, it's amazing how quickly it accumulates stuff!) About a month ago I purged my clothes, all the office clothes I had and pre-pregnancy stuff I didn't absolutely love. It ended up being a good 1/2 of what I owned or more. AND I was so proud, I got rid of most of my shoes, I only have about a dozen pairs left

It feels SO good to get rid of stuff. I used to be a bit of a packrat, and had a lot of stuff I was emotionally attached to. Then I just got tired of all of the clutter and made a huge change. What an emotionally freeing experience this has been! It makes you feel so much lighter.

Someone mentioned the Oprah a while back that was about compulsive hoarding. I saw that! One of my closest friends has this issue, which he's just not willing to deal with at all, and gah! I can't stand being in his home. It's so oppresive and you can just feel the weight of it all.

[emdeecee_sierra]

OP, I have the same problem! I am so glad to read I'm not the only one who thinks about "what's next!?!" and even goes back over things I've recently purged.

Originally Posted by larablue

Why don´t you start helping others? Friends, family, single moms..

Might want to be careful of this, though, as it can be easy to hurt someone's feelings with the offer.

Originally Posted by es1967

I feel the same way too. Always, looking for more to declutter. Today I watched Oprah about the hoarding problem this woman had and it really put things into perspective for me again. Everytime I see how bad people have it I feel so relieved I am just the opposite. Makes me feel so organized. Sometimes if I visit other peoples homes I come back feeling so thankful for my place.

I do this too. So happy to come back home. But then I actually always have to purge something at home. Almost like the feeling built up so much while I was at the other house I need an outlet.

Originally Posted by farmlife

Purging issues over here. Dh asked that I keep the toothbrushes Funny thing is I notice lately he has gone through and purged through his items. House is easier and easier to keep clean.

I love what someone said earlier about nothing is sacred anymore - I obviously have some sort of issue in that I have items that cause me stress. Can't get rid of that cause it was from so and so issues. Well, I'm letting go of that and boy does it feel good. Palpable stress out the door with said items!

I love that this thread and forum is here.

When I start to feel bad about junking something because it is from someone I remind myself that getting rid of the item does not mean I feel any less for the person, or they for me, that it is merely an item.

Originally Posted by socialworkmamma

How, please tell me how you ladies all do this??? How is nothing sacred? I really need to know. I want to purge and declutter, but everytime I start to make some headway, my sentimental attatchment kicks in, and I freeze. Any and all advice appreciated.

Amys1st's list is terrific. Another question I ask myself (and am teaching my DC to ask themselves) is: if the house burned down tonight, would I be in tears tomorrow for this lost item? (Would losing it affect my life in any way? Would I even remember that I owned this item?)

[larablue]

Originally Posted by emdeecee_sierra

Quote:
Originally Posted by larablue View Post
Why don´t you start helping others? Friends, family, single moms..
Might want to be careful of this, though, as it can be easy to hurt someone's feelings with the offer.

Thanks for your input.
You are right- some people might be hurt. I come from a quite unorganized family and no-one ever felt hurt by such an offer, everyone was welcoming it and I help all the time, but other people might feel different.

[notwonamesalike]

Originally Posted by Danidama

If no one here has read the book It's All Too Much by Peter Walsh, go get it right now! It's the best book ever. I absolutely love it. I just finished reading it for the second time in 6 months (I never remember books and movies; my brain just does. not. like to store them for some reason.). It goes through every room in the whole house and everything you need to do to clear it out of all the stuff you don't need, use or love. This book is SO much fun to read!

I agree - but get in an e-version and then you don't have another book cluttering up your bookshelves.

I've re-read this book 3 times myself.