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DSS's Mom wants to meet me...I'm scared - Page 2

post #21 of 24
I think you should stop with the notes and just meet her for coffee. The notes are weird and incredibly presumptuous. And you keep sending them even though you know they make her angry.

I find it really odd that you've never seen her - after two years of joint custody you've never been present for a pick up or a drop off?

Even if she is certifiable, she is a person and the mother of your stepson and I don't see any reason why you shouldn't meet her.
post #22 of 24
Thread Starter 
I guess I didn't explain myself or the situation clearly. I appreciate the advice but I think I'll be nodding out of this post. It's too exhausting defending myself to what I thought was a support forum. I was eliminating tons of extra info to be fair to her even though she doesn't really deserve it. I guess I made some mistakes along the way but at least I tried and at least I was optimistic. I only was treating her the way I want to be treated. But the golden rule I guess doesn't apply in this case. My bad.
post #23 of 24
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annabanana View Post
I guess I didn't explain myself or the situation clearly. I appreciate the advice but I think I'll be nodding out of this post. It's too exhausting defending myself to what I thought was a support forum. I was eliminating tons of extra info to be fair to her even though she doesn't really deserve it. I guess I made some mistakes along the way but at least I tried and at least I was optimistic. I only was treating her the way I want to be treated. But the golden rule I guess doesn't apply in this case. My bad.
You explained yourself clearly enough, but folks had different perspectives, which is one of the benefits of a board like this one. I'm not sure what you expected? All the yucky details of her behavior aren't really necessary when it comes to giving you feedback on the letter. It may sting or may not be what you wanted to hear, but I think you received some valuable advice.

Also, if you feel that you've done your best, in spite of her outrageous behavior, why not leave well enough alone? The 'golden rule' does not apply when we try to impose our expectations or desires on other people, right?

Best of luck to you.
post #24 of 24
I have to ask as in reading the posts that something is missing, but I'm wondering where your dp is in all of this? How does he feel? Did he in fact sabotage the meeting? Why have you not met prior to this? It seems as though your dp is not supporting you for some reason, I would be questioning that. Does he have something to hide? I also wanted to say that if I were you I would be reaching out to her aswell. Not to invade her space but to attempt to create a more comfortable sittuation. I understand the desire to make peace for everyone involved. Relationships like this can be toxic and it seems as though you are the only one addressing the issue. Good for you! At least you are setting an example for the little one on how to treat people.
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