Calling all April IVFs!

[goblue]

I'd love to hear from you if you're going through and April IVF cycle. The more support we have, the better!

I'll be undergoing my second attempt at IVF/ICSI in April (the first one was cancelled due to overstimulation) so I'm in the ever-frustrating waiting period until I start my Lupron next Friday. We are dealing with male factor, so DH and I are doing everything we can to prepare for the second time around, mentally, physically and spiritually. It's loads of fun, right?

If you are an April cycler, how are you feeling? I wish you the best of luck and support!

[Perdita_in_Ontario]

Raising hand slowly...

This might sound odd, but I'm trying to pretend to myself this cycle isn't happening LOL

I start BCPs tonight, suppression on the 6th, stims on the 19th, which should put ER/ET (with ICSI) at the very end of April.

Last cycle in Dec/Jan resulted in all the embies dying before Day 5 transfer - we're doing a Day 3 this time. My goal this time is to get to transfer!!

I really hope this works. It feels like this cycle snuck up on us - and I have a 2-day conference out of town at the beginning of stims, which isn't going to be wonderful. But work is going to be busy in the summer and I didn't want to be going through a cycle then, nor did I want to put it off till autumn.

Anyone else out there?

[goblue]

Hi Perdita,

I so sorry to hear about the Dec/Jan cycle, it must have been so devastating. But let's keep fingers crossed that April will be a charm...for both of us! You and I are almost lined up with April IVF dates; I start Lupron on the 4th, stims on the 14th for retrieval last week of April.

Are you doing anything differently this cycle aside from the Day 3 transfer?

Many and well wishes!!

[Seedlings]

Hi Goblue and Perdita,

Perdita - So sorry about your last cycle.

Ok, I am out here too . I have taken bcp's for almost 1 week. I have not gotten my meds yet so I should call them tomorrow so I can go in for the med teach.

My re will start to do the ivf retrevials the week of 04/14 so I should fit in there somewhere and then he does a 3 day transfer.

I'll be praying for us all. I have given up my morning coffee and replaced it with a protein drink. I am also limiting sugar and carbs. I have been trying to find ways to increase my egg quality.

[crazyrunningmama]

Originally Posted by Seedlings

I have been trying to find ways to increase my egg quality.

Apparently full fat dairy, according to "The Fertility Diet".
Good luck all!

[marly33]

Hello everyone !! I am new to this site and to the process. I have been on Agysten since the 13th of this month. I am epileptic so i can not take BCP so they gave me Agysten which is a hormone that does the same job . i started luperon on the 25th I stop the agysten on tues the 1 and on the
6th i start stimulation ER is about the 17th and ET is about the 25th We are very excited . Our problems are a little bit of both Im PCOS and i only have one fallopian tube and my hubby has his problems. Hope to get to know all of you thanks for having a place where we can all vent and share info !!

thanks Marly

[Kat's Mommy]

Hi I'm an April IVF-er.

I am currently on lupron, getting ready to begin Puregon this Saturday.

Kind of scared. Kind of anxious. This is it for us. We can't afford to have more than one IVF.

Perdita - so sorry to hear about your last cycle.

[Seedlings]

Thanks for the info crazyrunningmama. I will include full fat dairy, I love yogurt and cheeses :.

Hi Marly and Kat. : we all get bfp's. Marly our cycles sound very close.

I am going to vent - I just got off the phone with the ivf coordinator and she has yet to order my meds :. I was all set to go to Texas this week but held off since they made it sound like I had to stay and get all this ivf stuff done . I have done nothing except take bcps. It seems like I should be doing lupron or stims or something if the week the re does retrevials is 03/14. If this dippy coordinator screws up my cycle I'll be po'd. She even said she had 15 files on her desk to process for ivf meds. UGH!

[soulshine]

hi
i'm on day 3 of stims.
i am pretty much thinking about it all day all the time. its hard to relax!
i feel sorta full in the middle, assuming its from the stims, but after only 2 days? anyone have any experience with this? i'm not thinking ohss, but maybe its just my body reacting to the new medicine in my body?
i have a check on sat morning, waiting for lead follicle to get to >12-14mm, then i'll start ganirelix. estimated trigger 4/5, estimated retrieval 4/7, estimated transfer 4/10.
its hard to tell what my heightened feelings are related to...
is the side effect of the stims? (maybe?)
is it just a general thing to be so nervous before an ivf? (duh...)
both, probably, and they feed off of eachother like a snowball.

finally found my clinic's stats- they are a new clinic and just posted their 2006 report. not so stellar! they only saw less than 100 clients, and the success rate for my age group was, um, less than my general idea i throw around in my head, 50/50... ha, yeah, right... just praying that their embryologist has a freaking awesome month this april! its all so out-of-my-hands at this point. when i took my zithromax pills, i felt like neo going down the rabbit hole in the matrix...

[goblue]

Thanks to all you amazing women who are sharing your stories on this post!

Seedlings--I don't blame you for being ticked off at your IVF coordinator. Considering the amount of money we all pay for IVF, the least they can do is be on schedule and get meds ordered!! Maybe keep calling her until she gets the job done. Is this your first IVF?

Marly and Kat--I wish you the best of luck; please keep us posted as with your progress.

As for me, I had a bad night after finding out yet another friend is pregnant. I swear everytime that happens, I sink into a state of blue for a few days. I've already cut off three other friends because they are either pregnant or just had a baby and so the only thing on their minds in babies and I just can't handle hanging out with them while I go through IVF. My husband thinks I'm being mean but I swear, it's for my own sanity! Do any of you feel the same way?

[soulshine]

goblue,
i think you should honor your feelings and allow yourself the space you need away from whatever is going to stress you out or make you feel bad. i don't think you are being mean, at all.
for me, coinciding with our ttc/IF, seems like everyone we knew got pregnant and have now already had their babies, so i don't have it overlapping on my ivf cycle. i really feel for anyone who has those thoughts when their friends/family/coworkers get pregnant or have babies. its such a conflicting thing- everyone should be happy when a baby's coming, right? but when you don't have that same opportunity, it only serves to remind you of that. some people seem to be able to handle it differently, like, they can 'rise above' and be around pregnant friends or be really happy when someone announces a new pregnancy. but actually i don't think it is 'rising above' it's just the way we all deal differently with our issues. when my sister got pregnant, i handles it just terribly. i was so jealous and totally miserable. then, she had a m/c and i felt even worse. there's no getting around or predicting how you are going to feel. its a big deal, to be dealing with IF/ivf, etc, and its totally within the realm of reason to feel all these things!
i've had to explain to my husband many times that it is 'ok' and normal to think/feel these ways during IF,ttc, etc. because he just can't live it the way i do. if you don't have the support from you husband in this matter, i find it better not to talk about it with him... find a different outlet to get it all out, like here! or, in therapy, or out on a nice long walk or by yourself in the car or shower... it is totally ok to feel badly when other people get pregnant- it isn't selfish... you aren't wishing them bad, you aren't a bad person for thinking it... it's just the way it is. letting it out is a great way of minimizing its control over you.

for me, i found a great way to deal with this was to just get mad at all the celebrities who are trapesing around the tabloids gigantically pregnant. it really helps to vent my anger at the 'whole effing situation', thinking terrible thoughts about angelina jolie! then, i don't feel so bad when my sister calls and tells me she's pregnant (well, hopefully, but, not, really, that would really get me... i guess you just can't hide from it!)

[Seedlings]

Originally Posted by soulshine

hi
i'm on day 3 of stims.
i am pretty much thinking about it all day all the time. its hard to relax!
i feel sorta full in the middle, assuming its from the stims, but after only 2 days? anyone have any experience with this? i'm not thinking ohss, but maybe its just my body reacting to the new medicine in my body?
i have a check on sat morning, waiting for lead follicle to get to >12-14mm, then i'll start ganirelix. estimated trigger 4/5, estimated retrieval 4/7, estimated transfer 4/10.
its hard to tell what my heightened feelings are related to...
is the side effect of the stims? (maybe?)
is it just a general thing to be so nervous before an ivf? (duh...)
both, probably, and they feed off of eachother like a snowball.

finally found my clinic's stats- they are a new clinic and just posted their 2006 report. not so stellar! they only saw less than 100 clients, and the success rate for my age group was, um, less than my general idea i throw around in my head, 50/50... ha, yeah, right... just praying that their embryologist has a freaking awesome month this april! its all so out-of-my-hands at this point. when i took my zithromax pills, i felt like neo going down the rabbit hole in the matrix...

When I did 150 of follistim for my iui's I am sure I felt my ovaries filling by day 3. I can relate to your feeling of nervousness and thinking about the ivf all the time! I love retail therapy but I started that with my iui's and it is getting expensive .

I have tried looking up my clinic on the cdc site and sart.org and I could not find them so that really worries me. So I too am :

[Seedlings]

Originally Posted by goblue

As for me, I had a bad night after finding out yet another friend is pregnant. I swear everytime that happens, I sink into a state of blue for a few days. I've already cut off three other friends because they are either pregnant or just had a baby and so the only thing on their minds in babies and I just can't handle hanging out with them while I go through IVF. My husband thinks I'm being mean but I swear, it's for my own sanity! Do any of you feel the same way?

I am sorry and I know what you mean. I just tried typing up a long story but they just never end. But there is no rhyme or reason to ivf and it is just cruel. So I am really sorry for your pain and am here with everyone else for you.

[Seedlings]

Hi everyone,

I am exhausted with my re office.

Finally my meds were ordered. Thankfully my insurance is messengering them out Sat. so I'll have them on Monday for my med teach and inventory. But today my dh had to go to an office over an hour away to give them a sample to freeze. They kept him there for over an hour and then said no he can not do it because they do not have his labs. He had the labs done on Mon and was assured twice they would call if there was a problem. Obviously they did not do what they said even though they made it crystal clear that we had to do all of this. C'est la vive!

I am so that I left a message for the re to call. Now two nurses have called but not him. wtf. I am not even on meds an I am po'd. It is hard for dh to get this time off of work and he is pretty much the sole bread winner so I do not want to jeopardize his job (mr. re man who is probablly sitting on a bunch of cash!). You know what they still do not have my pap that per my ob was faxed at least 4 times in August. Hello what is going on there.

I am supposed to be relaxing seeing oceans, birds and white light crap!!! Why I am monitoring the re and staff?

[soulshine]

seedlings,
i kind of feel like i am monitering the staff at our clinic, too. the nurse i have has told me twice two totally wrong things. i am not letting myself get too upset about it, though, letting it go bye-bye.
this is such an expensive, "elective" procedure, and yet i feel like they treat it as if its a little thing. well, its not. not financially, not emotionally, not anything-ly.
sometimes i feel like its a supply and demand thing. we NEED them, so the way they treat you can be whatever because, well, what else are you gonna do? go somewhere else? well, get in line (that's them saying that!).

i would have been pissed too! i'm sorry you had to deal with that and your husband had to deal with such a waste of his time. come on people!! lets get your acts together!!

[VWChick]

I am right at the end of my cycle (triggered last night at 11:45pm for ER on Sunday) but I wanted to tell you guys that I TOTALLY feel your pain with regards to the clinic and staff being slack. I couldn't read the thread without commiserating with you for a minute!

I can't even begin to tell you all of the problems I have had. I am also in a drug study so that makes it even worse (double the number of appointments). My clinic is 2 hours away. They have screwed up about a million things. Everything from calling me at the last minute to tell me that I couldn't be seen at their satellite office closer to me (and only staffed by one person) so I had to drive at the last minute to the main office... all the way to them mixing up my chart with another patient with the same last name from the same town. They have also forgotten procedures they needed to do, forgotten to return my phone calls, sent mail to the wrong address (after I gave them my new address three times), etc., etc., etc.

I finally spoke to one of the drs. yesterday who blew me off and told me I was being unreasonable and "could just drop out of treatment and the study" if I wanted. I was appalled... and completely upset. Of course, there is no way in hell I would drop-out two days before ER and he knew that. I realize to them that I am just another patient but I do feel that their sensitivity is lacking. This is a one time deal for us. We can't afford it again financially, emotionally, or time wise. My significant other works offshore for 5 week at a time stints (5 home, 5 at sea) and when he is gone I am basically a single parent. And, our local family doesn't even know we're doing this because they would be les than supportive. SOOOO.... I do feel like we (along with everyone else going through IVF) deserves a little more compassion, professionalism, and flexibility from the staff.

Anyways, it's been a difficult and long month (and I'm not done yet!) but I am hoping and praying it will be worth it in the longrun!

[soulshine]

best wishes to you vwchick!! i really really hope the efforts you put into it will yield the results you are hoping for!!

and,
i can't believe you had to deal with that crap! what a jerk that dr. was to say something like that to you. : i just don't understand it. i mean, i don't know why i am so surprised, i hear horror stories all the time about people's experiences at hospitals/insurance companies, etc. but i guess i always assume things will be all on the up-and-up and professional and no chart switching (happened at my acupuncturist's!) and short behavior and treating with you as a faceless blob instead of a real, individual person, with feelings and needs.

some of the nurses, and actually my r.e... they have been really nice, etc.- the way i would want everyone to be.

my cycle seems to be speeding up a bit. i had to begin ganirelix today, as my lead follicle was 15mm. onto daily monitering now. my nurse said she wouldn't be surprised if we triggered earlier than the 5th. we'll see.
i was so thankful to get that ganirelix into my system!! last cycle, i ovulated thru the lupron, and now i have a speedy-mcspeedster follicle that needs to take a chill pill. the others have to catch up!! apparantly the ganirelix works instantaneously to stop lh, so, well, i guess i need to relax!

i thought i would be quieter about posting but i seem to be chatty... maybe my typing-fingers are getting stimmed too

[Seedlings]

Originally Posted by VWChick

I am right at the end of my cycle (triggered last night at 11:45pm for ER on Sunday) but I wanted to tell you guys that I TOTALLY feel your pain with regards to the clinic and staff being slack. I couldn't read the thread without commiserating with you for a minute!

I can't even begin to tell you all of the problems I have had. I am also in a drug study so that makes it even worse (double the number of appointments). My clinic is 2 hours away. They have screwed up about a million things. Everything from calling me at the last minute to tell me that I couldn't be seen at their satellite office closer to me (and only staffed by one person) so I had to drive at the last minute to the main office... all the way to them mixing up my chart with another patient with the same last name from the same town. They have also forgotten procedures they needed to do, forgotten to return my phone calls, sent mail to the wrong address (after I gave them my new address three times), etc., etc., etc.

I finally spoke to one of the drs. yesterday who blew me off and told me I was being unreasonable and "could just drop out of treatment and the study" if I wanted. I was appalled... and completely upset. Of course, there is no way in hell I would drop-out two days before ER and he knew that. I realize to them that I am just another patient but I do feel that their sensitivity is lacking. This is a one time deal for us. We can't afford it again financially, emotionally, or time wise. My significant other works offshore for 5 week at a time stints (5 home, 5 at sea) and when he is gone I am basically a single parent. And, our local family doesn't even know we're doing this because they would be les than supportive. SOOOO.... I do feel like we (along with everyone else going through IVF) deserves a little more compassion, professionalism, and flexibility from the staff.

Anyways, it's been a difficult and long month (and I'm not done yet!) but I am hoping and praying it will be worth it in the longrun!

Wow, I should call your doctor and let him have

I thought mine were inconsiderate but yours is being awful! I am so sorry that he said you "could just drop out of treatment and the study" . That is horrible. I am : you get a bfp.

[Seedlings]

Originally Posted by soulshine

my cycle seems to be speeding up a bit. i had to begin ganirelix today, as my lead follicle was 15mm. onto daily monitering now. my nurse said she wouldn't be surprised if we triggered earlier than the 5th. we'll see.
i was so thankful to get that ganirelix into my system!! last cycle, i ovulated thru the lupron, and now i have a speedy-mcspeedster follicle that needs to take a chill pill. the others have to catch up!! apparantly the ganirelix works instantaneously to stop lh, so, well, i guess i need to relax!

i thought i would be quieter about posting but i seem to be chatty... maybe my typing-fingers are getting stimmed too

Does the ganirelix slow down follicle growth? I am just courious, since this is our first ivf. I sure hope that 15mm follie slows down. Goodluck!

[soulshine]

well, it blocks lh, so i guess so.
at my scan today it was 16mm, but nurse said everything's looking good.

so, from a few posts back, i was blabbering on and on about getting mad at angelina jolie instead of my friends, etc, except if maybe my sister called and said she was pregnant...
well, guess what?
my sister just called to tell me she is pregnant! (is there a spontaneous combustion smiley??)

which, you know, is a wonderful thing for her, as she is 43 and so on and so forth, but telling me on day 5 of stims when i am apparantly a hormonal wreck, well, there may have been a better time to call with the joyous news?! because not only do i feel the full weight of self-pity ('why does everyone else get pregnant and have living babies except for me?'), i also get to feel like a total sh*thead for feeling anything but good thoughts about the whole thing... its is a lose-lose situation. why do pregnant people have to tell those struggling with infertility that they are pregnant? why? why must this bridge be crossed? is it to make the pregnant person feel better? to get it off their chest so they can then go on and evjoy their 'h&h' freaking 40 weeks?!! infertility is a cruel cruel hell.

this sucks! infertility totally sucks! i mean, its the kind of emotional suffering you need to be delivered from. and its really annoying when the prayers don't really get answered, at least not in the good way, i am sure something's getting answered, but what lesson we are supposed to be learning from all this is totally beyond me. you really start to feel like the powers that be are out to get you! its miserable!

trying hard to stay relaxed and positive... not working, not tonight at least!!

the worst thing about it is, when you are doing ivf, those not in the know about the reality of it... they assume that since you decided to 'take the plunge', it is automatically going to work, and that you will have twins and everything is going to be honkey dorey. omg this makes me want to kick something! my own mom, who is normally a very sensitive person, said 'well in a year you'll have a baby and all of this will be better'. well, thanks, that is very positive but don't you understand that there is a very big chance that in a year i won't have a baby and it won't be all freaking better? and, for that matter, even if i DID get pregnant, have a baby, and things were healthy and good, well, it doesn't really 'make-up' for the years of anguish i have been slogging thru trying to have ONE BABY, i mean, these years have aged me, seriously... physically aged my face and given me grey hair, not to mention the fact that i feel like a good portion of my SOUL has been sacrificed to 'go the distance'. then, my mom said something about choosing to have HOPE. hope is not a choice i have made... i don't really have hope. i think what i have is some kind of reaction to desparation, and not having any other choices but to walk forward toward a different ending, meaning, walk away from the childless road i can't seem to get off of. i don't think that is 'hope'. what else am i going to do? isn't that why people end up doing ivf in the first place? they have no other choice, no other option.