why don't YOU leave your baby to cry?

[Danielle13]

Recently I've been bombarded with countless people telling me to let my dd CIO and when I say no they ask why. I don't leave my baby to cry because it just feels wrong to me. but I know there are medical reasons why it shouldn't be done but I don't know them. I'd love to hear why you don't leave your baby to cry so maybe I can have something to say when I'm being attacked other than it feels wrong and its mean

[alegna]

In no particular order:

why on earth WOULD I?
because it's my job to take care of her
biology makes it highly uncomfortable
I don't believe in child abuse/neglect
because it's an awful thing to do
when I decided to reproduce, taking care of a baby was part of the deal
it's not an acceptable choice.

-Angela

[zensven42]

How about that babies cry to communicate their needs and not meeting their needs is called neglect. It is as simple as that. Just because the cries don't sound like "I'm hungry", I'm tired", or "I need to be held" doesn't mean that the baby isn't trying to communicate them. A person with their needs met (baby or adult) is a happy person.

Yes they can say that the baby stops crying eventually when CIO, but that is because their spirit has been broken and they have given up hope that someone is coming to help them, or they just got too plain tired to cry anymore. HOW AWFUL!

Kristin Skrydlak-Simlai

[annettemarie]

Because it's mean.

Because I believe we're called to parent as God parents us, and Scripture assures us time and time again that the Lord answers when we call to Him. I would do no less for my helpless baby.

Those are my two main reasons.

[vagabonder]

I try to treat dd like I would want to be treated. If I was crying and DH just left me there to cry without trying to console me, I would feel all that much worse and would probably lose a lot of trust/faith in him and our relationship so I figure doing that to her she would feel the same towards us.

[futuremamaheather]

"Because my doctor told me that's a bad idea"
(so what if the doctor in question is Dr. Sears and you've never actually talked to him... IMO, if you've read his books, you can still claim him )

That ended the conversation with my step-mother, right quick!

[josh&davesmomme]

Because it feels wrong to me to leave my child screaming and ignoring their basic needs for love comfort food or to be changed just because the clock and society say they should be asleep.
But if you're looking for some "medical" or scientific reasons, which I have found helpful in dealing with some people, there are some in the sticky, including how pro longed cio can alter brain development http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=624394

[angelcat]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Because it's mean.

Because I believe we're called to parent as God parents us, and Scripture assures us time and time again that the Lord answers when we call to Him. I would do no less for my helpless baby.

Those are my two main reasons.

I love this answer! Altho, I have a toddler, now, and not a baby, and apparently that makes a difference.

[STJinNoVa]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Because I believe we're called to parent as God parents us, and Scripture assures us time and time again that the Lord answers when we call to Him. I would do no less for my helpless baby.

This is such a spectacular answer.

[aprilv]

i think the reason cio 'works' for a lot of families is that the babies get the message loud and clear- don't bother crying cause we're not coming even if you do.
that's not a lesson i want to teach. i want to make sure my toddler knows all the way down to his bones that i will always be there when he needs me.

plus, bedtime is a happy time at our house. it's quite common for bedtime to be a struggle for kids when they're older and i'd bet that's because it has negative feeling associated with it. i want my little guy to feel safe and happy when it's time to go to sleep.

[Tinker]

This is the point I like to make, I don't know whether people shut up because it makes sense or because they figure I can't be reasoned with.

"If at any other time of the day I ignored my child's needs and left her to scream unattended for hours on end, it would be grounds for CPS to take her. (And rightly so!) So how is it OK to say well it's dark now, you're on your own kid, and that's perfectly acceptable?"

[Danielle13]

Originally Posted by Tinker

This is the point I like to make, I don't know whether people shut up because it makes sense or because they figure I can't be reasoned with.

"If at any other time of the day I ignored my child's needs and left her to scream unattended for hours on end, it would be grounds for CPS to take her. (And rightly so!) So how is it OK to say well it's dark now, you're on your own kid, and that's perfectly acceptable?"

very well said!!

[Cujobunny]

Because the thought of it makes me want to barf. Argue with that, people.

[sapphire_chan]

If the person asking hasn't specifically told you that they did CIO with their own children, smile sweetly and ask "isn't that child abuse?"

[Danielle13]

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan

If the person asking hasn't specifically told you that they did CIO with their own children, smile sweetly and ask "isn't that child abuse?"

DANG IT! I wish I had asked this question sooner! blah that is SUCH a good thing to say!! I missed so many opportunities!

[Danielle13]

Originally Posted by Cujobunny

Because the thought of it makes me want to barf. Argue with that, people.

me too. 2 days ago I ran into my exboyfriend and he told me their letting their 1 month old cry through the night. I actually felt sick all day. It was all I could think about. It literally makes me sick.

[Ellp]

Originally Posted by Danielle13

me too. 2 days ago I ran into my exboyfriend and he told me their letting their 1 month old cry through the night. I actually felt sick all day. It was all I could think about. It literally makes me sick.

Ugh, now I can't get that thought out of my mind...

I can't even imagine what that poor baby is thinking.

[jeliphish]

Because it breaks my heart....

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by Cujobunny

Because the thought of it makes me want to barf. Argue with that, people.

:

[KristyDi]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

Because I believe we're called to parent as God parents us, and Scripture assures us time and time again that the Lord answers when we call to Him. I would do no less for my helpless baby.

Well said! Thanks for putting it so concisely. That should take care of most people who would encourage me to CIO.