Originally Posted by shanniesue2
On a more emotional note... Babies are people, too. And every person I know has at least an occasional need for comfort. Even adults. Sometimes, I feel really sad or upset. And when I do, I seek out a family member or friend for comfort. And I consider it a need, not "just something I want." I would be horrified if I woke up extremely depressed and bawling about something and my husband told me to get it over and go back to sleep or just ignored me. And if that would hurt my feelings, how could I think that it wouldn't hurt my baby's feelings.
See, this doesn't work for me. I can't think of it that way-I don't have anyone to comfort me, really. My daughter will, but that is not her job, so I work very hard not to let her see me upset.
Originally Posted by jocelyndale
I think it's just plain wrong, too. It's not just that it's instinctually perverse, it's cruel and unnecessary.
When I was a college student, I babysat for several families. One family had me sit one evening into the night and they asked me to adhere to a strict bedtime schedule and to let their youngest CIO. He was a precious cherub who looked just like my little brother looked at that age (toddlerhood). And my heart just broke that night. I don't remember how long he cried--they had told me to just let him go no matter how long. I had to sit and tell myself not to go in from the moment I left his room. 15 minutes? 20 minutes? half an hour? 45 minutes? It felt like hours. At some point, I couldn't take it any longer and went in there and picked him up and rocked him to sleep. I apologized as I held him close. He fell asleep so quickly, cuddled in my arms.
I cried myself to sleep that night and swore I'd never do something so heartless again. To this day, I regret that I doubted my instincts and let him cry needlessly for so much as a few seconds. I was afraid of subverting his parents' paradigm.
I look at my 11 month old son sleeping peacefully next to me and I don't get how *parents* could do that to their own child.
I babysat for a mom who did cio, to some extent. I was 16. With her toddler, he cired himself to sleep at naptime. If I stayed with him, he woudl cry longer than if I left him. So ielarned that was jsut how he went to sleep.
The baby was a different story. He wanted to be held all the time, which was fine with me. Mom simply didn't have time to hold all the time, and thought it would "spoil" him if I'd held him too much. I was allowed to pick him up if he cried for 20 minutes, though. If mom was out of sight or away, I held him anyway, though. it was just too hard to hear him cry, when I knew he'd stop if held him.