why don't YOU leave your baby to cry? - Page 4

[xtara2003x]

Pretty much for all the reasons stated above.

I think it's MORALLY wrong. I physically cannot stand to hear a baby cry. I feel physically sick and upset.

I wouldn't let any human..baby or not... cry or be sad alone.

Because I love my daughter with all of my heart and soul.

Because I want to treasure every-single-millisecond with my child because I will never get a single one that has passed, back.

Because something in my gut tells me not to...and I've learned to trust that voice.

[eunytuny]

Before having a baby, I had no idea people did this on purpose. When I was pregnant I was learned about it and thought "to each his own. Let's see what happens with me." After my sweet ds was born, I thought...Never will I let him Cio. Why did I have a baby? To ignore him when its inconvenient for me? No way. Now if someone tells me they let their lo CIO, I lose all respect for them as a parent and I look at their poor baby in sympathy.

[madskye]

It just never made sense to me. I don't subscribe to the thought that babies are manipulative, so if she was crying, she must need something. If I can help out with milk or a snuggle, why wouldn't I? What else is there to do that's equally important? Watch Law and Order for the 7000th time? Catch another hour of sleep?

I also had a tiny baby, so I was really eager to feed her whenever she was hungry.

[Jannah6]

Because I don't like to hear babies cry
Because it's the only way he can communicate
Because he has needs
Because why would I???

[veganf]

Because the sound is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.

[Alcyone]

I don't have the baby yet but it just doesn't make a lick of sense to me. The baby isn't crying just to irritate me; the baby needs something! When you choose to be a parent, you are choosing to be responsible for those needs. I don't see any other way to look at it.

[YouKnowMe]

So many wonderful wonderful answers!!!

I don't really have any to add!

[reezley]

Because comforting, feeding, and being there for your baby to the best of your ability is what being a Mommy IS. (And yes, it's legit to call them babies until they're about 2 years old.) It's often wonderful, usually tiring, and sometimes inconvenient, but it's what I signed up for when I had them.

Edited to add: And, I can't NOT go to my baby when he's crying!

[Jannah6]

Originally Posted by Danielle13

me too. 2 days ago I ran into my exboyfriend and he told me their letting their 1 month old cry through the night. I actually felt sick all day. It was all I could think about. It literally makes me sick.

This hurts my heart

[Uroboros]

Hi~ I'm somewhat new here, and very new to message boards. Hope I'm doing it right. But I'm facing my stress around message boards becasue of a bigger stress around sleeping. I am a momma of a 5 month old. He is absolutely wonderful; we are completely in love. He's been sleeping in bed with me and my husband since he's been about 12 weeks; before that he's been in the co-sleeper or in bed with us, kind of a hybrid situation. Now that he is becoming more mobile and I'm not getting any sleep, we are entertaining the idea of getting him into his crib, which he occasionally naps in. Here is where the bombardment comes in- that we have to be able to let him cry to learn how to self-soothe, how to sleep on his own, he'll be in bed with us for way too long if we don't do it now... I guess I have two questions: 1. does anyone have any advice on how to transition their beloved into a crib without involving the CIO method, and 2. is there any advice how, if baby stays in bed with us, to change the habit of feeding every hour and a half. I'm tired. (I know there's smiley faces on this thing, but I haven't figured it out yet!)

[Danielle13]

Originally Posted by Uroboros

Hi~ I'm somewhat new here, and very new to message boards. Hope I'm doing it right. But I'm facing my stress around message boards becasue of a bigger stress around sleeping. I am a momma of a 5 month old. He is absolutely wonderful; we are completely in love. He's been sleeping in bed with me and my husband since he's been about 12 weeks; before that he's been in the co-sleeper or in bed with us, kind of a hybrid situation. Now that he is becoming more mobile and I'm not getting any sleep, we are entertaining the idea of getting him into his crib, which he occasionally naps in. Here is where the bombardment comes in- that we have to be able to let him cry to learn how to self-soothe, how to sleep on his own, he'll be in bed with us for way too long if we don't do it now... I guess I have two questions: 1. does anyone have any advice on how to transition their beloved into a crib without involving the CIO method, and 2. is there any advice how, if baby stays in bed with us, to change the habit of feeding every hour and a half. I'm tired. (I know there's smiley faces on this thing, but I haven't figured it out yet!)

HI! welcome We moved dd's crib into our room with us. We took off one side and 'side cared' it. she is in her own bed but right by me. I think the nursing every 1.5 hours is pretty normal for his age. DD was nursing every 30 minutes up until yesterday . I am tired too Anyways, if you want to move him to his own room you would have to...I'm assuming put him to sleep then lay him down. And get up everytime he wakes at night and re nurse, rock and put him down. There is no guarentee that moving him to another room will make him get up less, so you could actually become more tired. Anyways, the crib method is working great for us right now. What ever you do, don't cio! There is absolutly no reason that won't be able to make this transistion CIO free. I hope I said that right...Im trying to say ther is no reason to CIO over this! ok there

Danielle*

[_betsy_]

Also... I hate that phrase -- LET baby CIO.

What baby in the world would CHOSE to cry uncontrollably, alone and scared?

Any time I have had a discussion that in any way uses the term "cry it out" I try to avoid "let them" and instead use "force them to CIO" or "leave them to CIO."

[Uroboros]

Thanks for your response. I love the idea of bringing J's crib in to our room. You know, I just took a nap with my babe in our bed, and it's the most loving, gentle way spend sweet time. I feel like if we can make all transitions smooth and terror free (what I think is happening during CIO), then life will be good. I am fearing what is happening to my mood because of sleep disruptions- more specifically what's happening between me and my husband. It's very helpful to read all of these comments. It makes me and Dan feel validated in our commitment to not make harsh transitions for our own needs.

[Alcyone]

Uroboros: You will probably get more responses if you start your own thread or find a thread about this topic, if one exists. Since this thread is about giving reasons to not CIO, someone may not be clicking on it who would have advice for your situation.

[Magali]

I don't leave my baby to cry because I love being there for him. I love making him feel secure. I don't let him cry because I think it must be alot easier to breastfeed him when he wakes in the night than to let him scream.

[marcimoose]

b/c your subconscious develops from age 0-3 without the benefit of conscious memory. i really believe that by leaving your baby to cio you are creating negative subconscious memories that can lead to unexplained insecurities and phobias as an adult. as dr. sears says, "you're creating memories" by cuddling and rocking your baby.

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Also... I hate that phrase -- LET baby CIO.

What baby in the world would CHOSE to cry uncontrollably, alone and scared?

Any time I have had a discussion that in any way uses the term "cry it out" I try to avoid "let them" and instead use "force them to CIO" or "leave them to CIO."

Good point! The parents who do it likely do to make themselves feel better.

[KnitLady]

Originally Posted by xtara2003x

Pretty much for all the reasons stated above.

I think it's MORALLY wrong. I physically cannot stand to hear a baby cry. I feel physically sick and upset.

I wouldn't let any human..baby or not... cry or be sad alone.

Because I love my daughter with all of my heart and soul.

Because I want to treasure every-single-millisecond with my child because I will never get a single one that has passed, back.

Because something in my gut tells me not to...and I've learned to trust that voice.

All of the above!

[ColoradanMom]

I don't know all the psychology behind it, but the way I look at it, an infant isn't really capable of intentionally manipulating like an older child might and so their cries indicate that they really NEED something like food, love, etc.

[Tuesday]

Originally Posted by Danielle13

Recently I've been bombarded with countless people telling me to let my dd CIO and when I say no they ask why. I don't leave my baby to cry because it just feels wrong to me. but I know there are medical reasons why it shouldn't be done but I don't know them. I'd love to hear why you don't leave your baby to cry so maybe I can have something to say when I'm being attacked other than it feels wrong and its mean

Besides all the reasons listed above, I just don't think CIO works. I have an acquaintance with 3 children - all of them she has let "CIO". When I questioned her further, I learned that she has made all three children CIO and yes they do then sleep through the night ... until, that is, they pass another developmental milestone, are teething, have a cold, etc etc. So then she apparently makes them CIO again - starting from scratch, if you know what I mean. Doesn't sound like it works to me.