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What do you think about "girls' night out"?

post #1 of 51
Thread Starter 
So, I have never really done this before. In the past (pre-kid days) DH and I always just hung out together with a group of friends. Now, however, I am a SAHM with 2 small children and I find myself occasionally being invited to "girls night out" type stuff, where husbands are obviously not welcome.

Do you think it's rude to exclude the hubbies like that? Is it sexist? Why do people do it?

My poor DH always gets mildly offended when this happens. I can't say I blame him. If DH were a woman, I could probably bring him (her) along, no problem. I don't like to be exclusionary towards him, but I do want to go hang out with my friends. I just wish he could, too. Plus he could be my designated driver.

I don't know, the whole phenomenon seems weird to me, while at the same time I participate in it and I have to admit, part of me *does* kind of enjoy the time on my own. :
post #2 of 51
I do it from time to time. My DH doesn't mind and is happy to give me some time to myself. I think for us it is a matter of us taking turns having some time to ourselves (he has monthly meetings with his local homebrew club on his own as well) since we don't get out together much.
post #3 of 51
I like an occassional girls night out. And DH doesn't mind - he gets a whole night of playing WoW for a sort of guys night in, lol.

We also go out as a couple with other couple friends.
post #4 of 51
It's not for me because I generally prefer the company of guys but I see nothing wrong with it. I would have no problem with being excluded if dh wanted to have a guy's night either.
post #5 of 51
Quote:
Originally Posted by famousmockngbrd View Post
Do you think it's rude to exclude the hubbies like that? Is it sexist? Why do people do it?

My poor DH always gets mildly offended when this happens. I can't say I blame him.
No, I don't think it's rude. No, I don't think it's sexist. I do it because I enjoy time with my girlfriends. It recharges my spirit. I'd be ticked if my dh had a problem with me spending time with my girlfriends. I encourage him to have guys' nights out. I think he needs time to just chill and hang out with his friends the same and I do.
post #6 of 51
A friend implored another couple and us to get babysitters and join her with drinks and dancing for her birthday. Both of our DH's elected to stay home with the kids

The other mom and I are very done with this sort of thing, but it was OK for one night in an unmentionable number of years. The girls have gotten together from time to time for scrabble and before babies we had a bunko group.

I think it's important to have the option for these social interactions from time to time without the kids, and yes even without your partner - as long as you do plenty of things with your family and partner. I also think it should be balanced for your partner to have opportunities to socialize without the family, too.
post #7 of 51
our playgroup has Mom's only night out once a month....and a Cuisine night once a month that is a couples thing. I love it, these are ladies that I'm close too, I don't feel as comfortable letting my hair down with their husbands there because their husbands are not my close friends. We do things like hang out in a hottub together etc.
post #8 of 51
2 times per year, my old camp friends get together for a girls weekend...it's usually the casino and a few spa treatments...I also do a quarterly girls night out with the ladies from work...DH LOVES the idea. I get some 'me' time which makes me a better mom and wife and he gets a night or weekend alone with DD. Granted, I didn't do this when DD was an infant or still BFing of course, but we started when she weaned.
post #9 of 51
I could not handle being with a group of women for anything for any length of time. I'd much rather endure a social situation with DH in tow and it be a mixed gathering of both sexes and many age groups.

-The Hermit (i.e. take my post for what it's worth )
post #10 of 51
I'd love it. I wish I had the opportunity. I don't think it is rude because I'm generally not into the typical guy stuff that my female friends dh/dp talk about and the men typically don't care to participate in conversations about what the women want to talk about (at least in my circle of friends). I wouldn't have a problem with my dh going out for a guys only night as long is it didn't involve something I don't approve of (nor would I partake in something he wouldn't approve of).
post #11 of 51
I go in phases wherein I socialize A LOT and at one point, I was doing a monthly or bi-montly Moms Night Out. It was a blast!

But what I most like to do is have friends (male, female, families...) over to my place, make a nice meal and have a bottle (or two!) of wine and chat the night away.
post #12 of 51
I love my girls nights' out! But then again, my dh is in a band, so he spends a lot of time with "the guys", so it's really even. We both enjoy our time spent together, but socially, even though we have the same circle of friends, we are very different. I prefer very social situations were as he prefers to stay in with a few friends. Both of us have learned to respect one another's needs, and it works very well for us, although I do we think we both want to spend more social time together sometimes.
post #13 of 51
we do GNO, but partners/husbands are welcome to stop in if they want, they just might not enjoy the activity/conversation . we've done paint your own pottery, cupcake bar, coffee, chocolate bar, and regular bar. it's always fun
post #14 of 51
I miss my Mom's Night Out crowd! We moved last summer and it's just too far to drive for an evening out. But I would go every month otherwise. My dh knows that an evening out with friends is a sanity saver for me. My dh has a group of friends that are spread across our state. They like to get together for overnights at a cabin on a lake.
post #15 of 51
personally, i think that men and women need to be together with just men or just women for a time. i feel that it's important for them.

i also feel it's important to be in mixed and diverse company as well.

i have no qualms with GNO, but have never really done it myself. ii'm pregnant with my first, so that may change if i need more scheduling.

often, as well, dad is doing kid-duty, so which is why the moms get a break together. and vice-versa.
post #16 of 51
My circle of friends does moms' day or night off whenever we can, and both my husband and I think it's perfectly reasonable. My husband goes out regularly without me too. It's fine!
post #17 of 51
I love girls night out.
post #18 of 51
I think going out with girl friends is fine you want. I think guys going out with guy friends is fine. I think girls and guys going out is fine. Whatever people want to do.

As long as one partner isn't always stuck at home or something then it's all good.
post #19 of 51
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by UnschoolnMa View Post
I think going out with girl friends is fine you want. I think guys going out with guy friends is fine. I think girls and guys going out is fine. Whatever people want to do. .
I think this is what bothers me about it - that someone is explicitly excluded. I can't bring my DH if I want to.
post #20 of 51
My friends and I go out twice a month and we love it! My husband is very supportive of it. If someone brought their husband, it would completely ruin it.

It's only sexist if the men aren't allowed these outlets, too. I encourage my husband to go out with his friends, too. As much as I like mixed couple get-togethers, I love nights out with just my female friends. It's a different dynamic, different conversations, different bonding.

If you don't want to do this away from your Dh, then maybe you should set up some couples nights. My parents used to do that. I think that would be fun, but I wouldn't give up my women's nights out.
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