Is this request so unreasonable?

[Himom]

My DS is turning 5 next week and I've been on the fence about his schooling for the coming fall. We live in a good school district and the public school in our area is a distinguished school. I'm also considering homeschooling, although I have no idea how to pull it off yet (haven't worked out the details) and it seems a far-fetched idea now since I don't know anyone IRL who homeschools.

Anyways, I'm doing my research on our local public school to see if it would be a good fit for DS. I called the school to ask if I could come to the school and observe a kindergarten class and I was told that they don't allow new parents to sit in on a class and that if they made accommodations for me, they'd have to do that for 120 parents. I was shocked! I told them that this request was just for me and not for 120 parents, they still refused. I asked to speak to the principal of the school but was told the same thing. They told me that they've never encountered anyone requesting a visit to observe a class in which one's child was not in. In your opinion, is my request unreasonable? I just want to see a class in session for me to form an opinion if I should send DS there this fall.

I'd appreciate any advice and pointers you could share with me.

[CarrieMF]

I don't know if it's out of line or not, I just don't know anyone irl who has done this.

the school here does a kindergarten orientation. The kids who are registered go for half a day in May. I don't know if parents are allowed to stay for a while, but I'd assume they are since they are on the first day in the fall. If this school has a day where they can go you could always send your child & if you don't like it pull him before the fall.

Can you talk to neighbors to get their opinion of the school/class?

[mommyoftwo]

I did it at two of our local schools but when I mentioned it to friends after the fact, they told me that the district down the road would never allow it.

I was kind of shocked-I thought that most parents would want to see the kindergarten classes in action.

Perhaps ask for a tour of the whole school instead. At one school we were taken on a tour of the school and were then able to watch the kindergarten classes.

Have you talked to other area moms and dads? I practically picked our dd's teacher by asking around and finding the best fit.

Good luck to you and keep bothering them.

[waiflywaif]

I visited about 12 schools when deciding about K and I was allowed to observe a K class in every single one of them! I didn't stay the whole day, but about an hour at each. I do personally think it's weird that they said no.

[Justmee]

I don't think it's a weird request, but I know districts have really strange rules esp. in regards to privacy. When I was teaching no non parents were allowed in period because of privacy issues (ie: you might see little Johnny acting up or somethign). I would ask if you can see the classroom and meet with the teacher after school hours. There should be some type of kindy orientation also.

[MSUmama]

Are you kidding me? That is absolutely a reasonable request and one would think the school would welcome parents who want to be involved in their child's education. We moved about 50 miles to the area we currently live in almost 2 years ago. At the time, my children were in a charter school and this area does not have a charter school. I called the public school, which is also very well known and liked in this county, and asked to tour the schools and sit in on some classes as my children were in 5th and 6th grade at the time. The schools were so accomodating and welcoming. The building is k-12 but seperated into three schools. We met everyone and they made my girls feel so comfortable. I was thrilled with the teaching styles and the teachers were excited to go over lesson plans and show me all of the texts they use. I personally would be very weary of any school who would not welcome parents with open arms.

[Lingmom]

It's not a weird request, but it's also not strange to be turned down. I've been told I can't visit potential public schools several times. The times that I've been successful at visiting a school, it's because I talked with the principal in person and was very unassuming and deferential and just let them know how I understand it's difficult to accomodate parents... But I've heard such great things about the school and I just want to make sure that it's the right fit for my child... etc... and how I am happy to sit in the corner of a class for 20 minutes and just observe quietly... and I don't need a tour... etc...

Also, if that doesn't work, you could also try to get in touch with a kindergarten teacher and see if you can't arrange something through her directly. If not actually observing, at least just make an appointment to talk with her. Let her know that you want to observe, but were told you couldn't.

[Lingmom]

I personally would be very wary of any school who would not welcome parents with open arms.

Also I totally understand what you're saying, but I wouldn't write the school off just yet. The policies at the front office are not a reflection of the teaching or the environment in the classroom. It might be a reflection of a difficult principal, but that's unlikely to be a part of your kindergartner's experience. I think the most important thing in a school is a great teacher. A nice principal or good school policy or nice facilities are a bonus.

[Mosaic]

Originally Posted by Lingmom

It's not a weird request, but it's also not strange to be turned down.

ITA. I see it honestly as a security issue. Put some random stranger in a class of kindergarteners and tell the kids it's ok for this stranger to sit there and watch them? Yikes, no way! But I'm sure this is the exception not the norm, so I can see why many schools have no problem with involved parents wanting to see what it's like.

[UmmBnB]

We were welcomed in to visit ds's public school ece class prior to enrolling and our current elementary school welcomes parents to observe as well.

We stayed for a good two hours during the ece observation and probably 30m to check out the kindergarten as we were already very comfortable with the school.

[PancakeGoddess]

I think it's a reasonable request. I've observed many of the classrooms at our local elementary school. Orientation is nice, but by that time you are committed anyway - it's too late to get in to other schools. How do they expect parents to make an informed decision about school choice?

I would ask them that - as the PP said, deferentially and unassumingly - and see what they suggest. I personally wouldn't risk signing up for a school without seeing the teacher in action. It could still be a fabulous kindy but I wouldn't do it.

[mommy68]

I visited a public school when our oldest child was younger. When I toured the school they would not allow me in the classroom either. I did get to walk in with the person from the office and meet teachers and staff in the school but couldn't sit in the class and observe. Only private schools would invite us to do that. Most private schools will allow children to come in and sit for a whole day if they would like. We went with a private school in the end.

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by RachelEve14

I don't think it's a weird request, but I know districts have really strange rules esp. in regards to privacy. When I was teaching no non parents were allowed in period because of privacy issues (ie: you might see little Johnny acting up or somethign). I would ask if you can see the classroom and meet with the teacher after school hours. There should be some type of kindy orientation also.

That makes sense. If a parent were to go in and sit in a class and one or two kids act up or don't behave well then that could make the whole class look bad to the parent. I'm sure no school wants a parent to leave there having their first experience end up that way. I think it makes sense in a way.

I would simply ask them 'why' they don't allow you to sit in the classroom? They may have a perfectly good answer.

[alegna]

While I think it's a *reasonable* request, I am in no way surprised. Lots of school districts don't allow this.

-Angela

[b&c'smama]

I think it really does vary from district to district. When I taught grades K-2 I did occasionally have parents come in the spring to observe. It was no big deal! When I wanted to observe in a K before sending ds, the district I live in said the exactly the same thing to me that your district told you. (Wonder if we live in the same district?) Actually, the whole attitude of schools tick me off! ( Keep in mind, I say this as a homeschooling parent) These are our children and our taxes, so why do we let them dictate policies, etc? I think schools should be run by parents, and we should have input in everything from daily rules to curriculum! Then again I am probably a radical!

[Mountain Diva]

Your request is not unreasonable at all. Maybe a good approach would be to come at them with a plan for how you can observe unobtrusively. In Montessori classrooms we have a special adult sized chair, a clip board with guidelines of how the adult is to act (as in Do not engage the children or the teacher, but you should answer them if they speak to you first, Sit quietly, and only stay for 10-15 minutes, then quietly leave, a staff member will answer any question you may have once you are out of the classroom), and it also helps parents in looking for specific things in the classroom - interactions between the ages, care of materials, etc.
I would guess their main concern is another adult will be disruptive. If you show them you have a plan that will allow for you see the class as it really is, and that you will respect that you are only observing, not participating, ... well, you might just change their whole perspective on it and help the other 120 parents to observe as well.

[blizzard_babe]

Alternately... you could ask if you could VOLUNTEER in the classroom. Most schools want parent/community volunteers. I know I'd kill for a parent/prospective parent volunteer in my classroom. You might not be able to put as much of your energy into active observing, but then again, you might get a longer visit out of it. Phrase it like, "I'm interested in sending my child to this school, and would like to both get to know the staff and students beforehand, and learn more about the school environment. Volunteering seems like a good way to immerse myself in the school culture." You'd probably have to arrange childcare for your DS, since volunteers are expected to be focused on the students in the classroom.

[peachweenie]

It really does depend on the school. At my local kindergarten, the principal gave us a tour of all 7 kindergarten classes. It wouldn't happen at our current school, a Waldorf charter where the children in the classroom are very protected, however they did have an open house where you could tour the classrooms on a weekend.

[Momily]

Originally Posted by Himom

if they made accommodations for me, they'd have to do that for 120 parents. <snip> They told me that they've never encountered anyone requesting a visit to observe a class in which one's child was not in. In your opinion, is my request unreasonable?

This, in my opinion was the most ridiculous part. If they were overwhelmed by people making this request I could understand needing to set limits, but surely they can figure out a way to make this happen for one family.

As a school administrator I can see both sides of this. On one hand we do want to be very transparent, giving parents the opportunity to learn as much as possible before deciding whether or not to send their kid to us. On the other hand, having observers in the classroom can be a distraction for the kids, and honestly a safety problem too. In our case we offer tours and open houses (when we have lots of extra adults around to address the safety issue) and chances to talk to the administrators, and then if a family wants to observe after they've gotten in (we're a charter school so admission is by lottery) we'd figure out a way to have them sit in.

[oceanbaby]

All the public schools here do tours. They tend to be group tours at certain times (in December and January, on Mondays at 10am, that sort of thing). I took several when we were considering schools.

I don't think I could register my kid for a school sight unseen.