Is this request so unreasonable? - Page 2

[Hannahsmummy]

I do not think the request is unreasonable and I can understand any parent wanting to see for themselves what they are signing their child up for.
However, I don't think it's unreasonable for them to say no to the request.

I would be uncomfortable with a school that didn't allow any kind of visit or tour at all but I am happy that potential parents are not allowed in our kindergarten class to observe.

Originally Posted by peachweenie

It really does depend on the school. At my local kindergarten, the principal gave us a tour of all 7 kindergarten classes. It wouldn't happen at our current school, a Waldorf charter where the children in the classroom are very protected, however they did have an open house where you could tour the classrooms on a weekend.

This is our situation, we are at a Waldorf school. There are regular school tours where people get to observe all of the classes aside from kindergarten. Having a stranger in a kindergarten class is disconcerting for me and as a kindergarten parent, I wouldn't be happy to have strangers watching my child in her class and I know that the kids would be disturbed by it as well.

Can you find out more about the school in other ways? Do they have a parent and child group? Can you speak to parents of the kids in class?

[txdancer]

I don'tthink this request is unreasonable but I also think a lot of school would say no to it. Really for safety reasons more than anything else.

[emmasmommy]

I don't think dd's school would allow this, but they do have an open house/registration evening in February/March where meet the teachers and learn about the programs and school. Then in early June dd and I went for about an hour and she did some one on one evaluations with the K teacher while I sat and talked with the principal and we were given a tour of the school.

[MsElle07]

I can understand why you want to go.

I do think it's difficult from a logistical standpoint. Legally, anyone who has contact with children must have a criminal background check. What if a pedophile moved into the neighborhod, went to the school and said he was interested in putting his son in K there, and that he wanted to observe?

That would then give him lots of information about the neighborhood children, and I know I would be very upset that he was allowed essentially unfettered access to my child.

When your child is actually enrolled in the school, they at least have some documentation of who you are, who your child is, where you live, where to find you, etc.

It's not just a privacy/security issue, it's also disruptive to the routines of the children to have a random adult staring at them for a day.

[Tinkerszs]

I can see it both ways. I am a parent of a soon to be kinder. But I am also a kinder teacher. Having some strange person walk into your room and plop themselves down is so incredibly distracting and unfair to the kids. I had a prospective parent do that last month. She just walked in and sat down in another child's seat. Then, during a transisition time she tried to engage me in a discussion. I was teaching!! She made sure she stayed through my entire planning just to talk. I don't mind talking to new parents, but it needs to be scheduled and not during classtime.

[greeny]

I don't think I could register my kid for a school sight unseen.

Me neither.

I visited 6 schools looking for one for my dd (also starting kindergarten in the fall). At three schools, I went to the open house only. At two, I attended open house + sat in on a class. The last one I only sat in, as I don't think there was an open house. The latter was our local public school. The others were private schools.

At all of the school open houses (all private schools), I was invited - encouraged, actually - to return on a school day to observe a class. (I had to set up an appointment, obviously.)

The public school let me speak directly to the teacher and arrange a time/day with her. I actually brought my kids with, and we all sat quietly in the corner while the teacher did her lesson with the students, who were minimally distracted by us. (There was the occasional peeking over at us to see what we were doing, but by and large they ignored us and we tried to be as quiet as possible.)

I would at least request a chance to meet the teacher and tour the classroom/school, if not sit in on a class.

[MsElle07]

I think a tour request is totally reasonable. You probably won't know who the teacher is until shortly before school begins. Many schools have more than one teacher per level.

Originally Posted by greeny

The public school let me speak directly to the teacher and arrange a time/day with her. I actually brought my kids with, and we all sat quietly in the corner while the teacher did her lesson with the students, who were minimally distracted by us. (There was the occasional peeking over at us to see what we were doing, but by and large they ignored us and we tried to be as quiet as possible.)

I would at least request a chance to meet the teacher and tour the classroom/school, if not sit in on a class.

I can also assure you that even if you were as silent as mice and the children appeared minimally distracted by you, they still felt a high degree of internal distraction, and probably had to force themselves NOT to focus on you. Imagine if a stranger came into your living room and said, "Don't mind me, I'm just observing," and then sat on your couch all day watching everything you and your family did. Even if they said nothing, didn't interrupt, the internal sense of disruption you would feel would be significant. You would feel as if your every move were being scrutinized, and you're an adult old enough to reason many feelings away, five year olds are not.

[greeny]

I can also assure you that even if you were as silent as mice and the children appeared minimally distracted by you, they still felt a high degree of internal distraction, and probably had to force themselves NOT to focus on you. Imagine if a stranger came into your living room and said, "Don't mind me, I'm just observing," and then sat on your couch all day watching everything you and your family did. Even if they said nothing, didn't interrupt, the internal sense of disruption you would feel would be significant. You would feel as if your every move were being scrutinized, and you're an adult old enough to reason many feelings away, five year olds are not.

Yeah, you're probably right. But I don't think there are people traipsing through there all day long distracting them. And we were only there for about 20 minutes (a 20 minutes well spent, as it turns out, because I determined in that time that I didn't like the way the teacher interacted with the kids, but that's a different post I already made ).

Anyway, you're right. The kids probably were distracted. And I see how that could be a problem. But I also really see how a parent would want - or even need - to see a class in session before making a decision about sending her child there.

[wifeandmom]

As a parent of Kindergarteners, I would be very unhappy if our school allowed random strangers to be in the classroom. At our school, you have to have a background check on file before stepping foot in the classroom with just the teacher and students present.

While I understand the desire to observe a classroom, and I'd have loved to do it myself, I am most appreciative of our school's policy.

[greeny]

As a parent of Kindergarteners, I would be very unhappy if our school allowed random strangers to be in the classroom. At our school, you have to have a background check on file before stepping foot in the classroom with just the teacher and students present.

While I understand the desire to observe a classroom, and I'd have loved to do it myself, I am most appreciative of our school's policy.

I totally get this.

But, again, I have a really hard time imagining sending my child to a school without ever observing a class. How would i know how the teacher interacts with the class? How would I know if the vibe is right for my kid? How would I get a feel for the way things are run? Not all of these are things you can see or learn at an open house, if the school even has one. (Do public schools have them? I don't think ours do.) What's the solution?

[wifeandmom]

Originally Posted by greeny

I totally get this.

But, again, I have a really hard time imagining sending my child to a school without ever observing a class. How would i know how the teacher interacts with the class? How would I know if the vibe is right for my kid? How would I get a feel for the way things are run? Not all of these are things you can see or learn at an open house, if the school even has one. (Do public schools have them? I don't think ours do.) What's the solution?

I get what you're saying, but the solution isn't to allow strangers into my child's classroom. *I* couldn't go into the classroom until I had a background check complete and on file in the front office.

Also, our elementary school has 7 Kindergarten classes. Observing one isn't going to tell you anything about the other 6 teachers. I'm a bit cynical too, in that I don't really think watching a class for half an hour is going to show you anything other than the teacher at her best. Even if she's typically an ogre that is impatient with the kids, it's unlikely that she'd do that in front of an observer, kwim?

[MsElle07]

Originally Posted by wifeandmom

I get what you're saying, but the solution isn't to allow strangers into my child's classroom. *I* couldn't go into the classroom until I had a background check complete and on file in the front office.

Also, our elementary school has 7 Kindergarten classes. Observing one isn't going to tell you anything about the other 6 teachers. I'm a bit cynical too, in that I don't really think watching a class for half an hour is going to show you anything other than the teacher at her best. Even if she's typically an ogre that is impatient with the kids, it's unlikely that she'd do that in front of an observer, kwim?

Very true. And even if you did visit all of that grade level's teachers, you would likely not have any say in which class your child was placed in.

When I went to my child's open house, each of the four K teachers got up and spoke, and I thought to myself, "I hope my son gets any teacher but THAT one." There was one teacher that I didn't like as much as the others, just based on my observation of her public speaking skills.

Of course, my child got that teacher.

When we went to back to school night she stated at the outset. "I am not a good public speaker. I get really nervous talking in front of a room full of adults, but I am really good with your kids, I promise."

And my son loves her. Which, I think, is more important than if I think she is the most articulate K teacher. He's the one who has to be with her all day, has to learn from her. Now, if I thought my child's physical or mental safety were at risk, of course I would intervene in two seconds.

As a teacher myself, it was hard for me to give up the control. And it's really hard for me to let go as a mom, too. It's hard to watch your babies grow up and go to school.