i know it's not JUST ppd.....but..

[HappyHomeBirther]

Ive suffered from depression almost my whole life..I was sexually abused by my biological father and other family members as a child and that has caused me some severe depression, anxiety, ptsd, and panic attacks. I used to cut all the time, as a teenager. I hadn't done it since before I got pregnant with my first(over 6 years ago), but in the last 3 months, Ive done it 2 or 3 times. Ive just become very increasingly overwhelmed lately and Ive gotten back into feeling like cutting when I get stressed now. I see a therapist once a week and have told him each time I have cut, and he has me sign a no-harm contract, vouching for my own safety and covering his butt at the same time. Well, I cut a couple nights ago and went for my weekly session lastnight(Tuesday) and he wanted me to go to the hospital for an evalutaion. I already see a psych. and am on a low-dose of mood stabilizers, but my therapist thought it would be good to maybe get a 2nd opinion and just get seen and talk to someone just about the cutting. He told me if I didn't go after my session with him, he would call them himself. Well, I freaked out. All I can think is that they'll lock me up there and take my kids away or something. I have a 6 month old nursing babe that has never been away from me for more than an hour or so and last time my therapist mentioned the hospital,(after the first time I cut again) he called down there and they said something about admitting me for an evaluation. That's when I started seeing the psych. I see. So, my therapist took my word tonight that I wouldn't hurt myself, had me sign a contract again, but urged me to go to the hospital still. Part of me wants to go and just talk to someone, but Im really scared!! Will they keep me there against my will if I show up with semi-fresh cuts on me? Can they do that? I would absolutely never in a million trillion years kill myself, and I know that's what the therapist is thinking about when he wants me to be seen.... I want to get the help I need, but I refuse to be apart from my baby... Is it possible to be seen at the hospital and that's it, without them being able to make me stay or something? Im seriously paranoid and having all these thoughts of them seeing the cuts and throwing a straight jacket on me and tossing my kids into foster care or something

[flapjack]

Look into the hospitals in your area: the ones with a mother/baby unit. Find out what community facilities there are near you. I know that over here we have teams of community psych nurses and breastfed babes can stay with their mothers, but the US does some funny things sometimes.

Who are the big mental health charities over there? Can they advise you on the legalities? I don't know what it takes to get sectioned in the US, but a good advocate could help take the pressure off you and help you line up the help you need.

[LynnS6]

My experience with hospitals has been that unless you're in REALLY bad shape, they won't keep you. Psych beds are very expensive and in very high demand. You probably wouldn't qualify!

Do you have someone who can help you get information? Find out whether the baby can room in with you, whether they have a day-treatment option where you can bring the baby? You absolutely don't want to be separated from your baby if you can help it. On the other hand, you want to be there and be able to care for your kids, right? I would say that hospitalization is an option for you, but not the only one for getting help.

Do you have a psychiatrist? Not a psychologist, but a psychiatrist? They're sometimes hard to find, but it sounds to me that your "low dose of mood stabilizers" aren't doing it for you any more. Many women with PPD need a heck of a lot more than low doses to get themselves back on track. A psychiatrist is much more able to keep track of your meds than a regular MD, and they're more likely to want to keep working on it until your symptoms are under control. The psychologist is more for long-term healing of the underlying issues.

[rainbow_mandala]

There's probably nothing to worry about when it comes to the hospital...like the PP said, you have to be in extremely bad shape in order for them to keep you.

That aside, if you'd like some help/insight into your emotional issues then I'd be happy to help. I'm an intuitive healer who is able to do remote healing, so even if you live across the world from me we could still hold a session through e-mail. I specialize in emotional issues and will always respect your boundaries. Check out my website if you're interested: www.moondragonhealing.com

[Surfacing]

I couldn't read and not post a