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Did discuss things when you were a teen?..  

post #1 of 33
3/27/08 at 11:03am
Thread Starter 
With your parents that is...

*Did you tell them about people you liked?
*Did you tell them about your first kiss?
*Did you tell them about your first time?
*Did you feel comfortable discussing emotional aspect of your relationships at that age?

Just curious. In my own case it was a "no" to all of the above, even though I love and care for my parents dearly, but these kinds of talks were never on the table really, I never felt comfortable. I hope DSD and I can talk about these things... so far so good, but we'll see.
post #2 of 33
3/27/08 at 12:31pm
over my dead body would I have done that with my parents. Even now I don't.
post #3 of 33
3/27/08 at 12:39pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarrieMF View Post
over my dead body would I have done that with my parents. Even now I don't.
:
post #4 of 33
3/27/08 at 1:35pm
I love my parents and I trust them. I would never have talked about any of those things with them. I have tried to make it possible to have these kinds of conversations with my kids. I was not all that successful with dd. But ds does talk to me about lots of things, I wonder if it has to do with personality?
post #5 of 33
3/27/08 at 1:55pm
Never in a million years. But my mom died when I was 12. I think I may have talked about that kind of stuff with her, we were very close. My father tried very hard to never have any sort of conversation with me, I wouldn't have discussed my homework with him, let alone something he could use to hurt me with.

I'd love to have those kinds of conversations with my ds, but he's the strong, silent type , I think he'd rather gnaw off a limb than talk about the dreaded "feelings" with me
post #6 of 33
3/27/08 at 2:08pm
Sort of. But in a really shallow, surface kind of way until well after I was in a serious relationship, etc.

My mom never wanted to discuss anything remotely sexual other than to tell me I shouldn't "do it". So of course I did lol, and then after I had my son and etc we were able to talk more. I guess she was just afraid that talking would make me active, and she found out that wasn't the case.

My Dad and I only just now talk about some aspects of our marriages, etc and I am almost 32 and he's 62.

My kids and I talk so so so much more than I did with my parents. Dd and I talk a lot about who she likes, why, who she doesn't much care for, who's sexy, etc etc. Ds too, but in a different way. It's wonderful!
post #7 of 33
3/27/08 at 5:55pm
no, no, no and no.
post #8 of 33
3/27/08 at 7:13pm
Yes to who I liked, still do!
No to first kiss, I was TOOO young,
No! to first time, also probably too young,
And yes to emotional aspects of my relationships especially after about 16.
I talked about all of it in retrospect but usually at least a year later.
post #9 of 33
3/27/08 at 7:35pm
Nope to all of them.

That's why I am so incredibly pleased and proud of myself right now. 13 y.o. dd is coming to me with important questions and observations about sex, drugs and whatever is on her mind. At least I'm doing this one parenting thing right!


========

I went back and read the question again. To be honest I'm not sure how I would respond if dd told me she kissed a boy or if she had sex. I never had this conversation with my mom and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. Hmmm...
post #10 of 33
3/27/08 at 7:47pm
No, not at all. I didn't even know how sex was 'done' until, well, it happened. Same with menstruation.

Fortunately, my 20 yo dd and I are very close and have always been. She tells me a lot about her life (she even came to me at age 15 and asked me for birth control). It's a wonderful thing!
post #11 of 33
3/27/08 at 8:12pm
no way.

In fact I was bullied as a preteen. My life was horrible. I almost fell out of my chair when my mom mentioned, when I was in my 30's!, how tough 6th grade was for me. I had no idea she even knew.
post #12 of 33
3/27/08 at 8:43pm
I did however have friends of my moms that I talked to about lots of things.
post #13 of 33
3/27/08 at 8:46pm
Hell to the no. I got up and walked away the one time my dad asked me if I had my period. That makes me sad to think about.

I still don't.

My boyfriend's daughter talks about bras and pads with her dad. And asked me to take her bra shopping (one of the best days of my life ) He doesn't know how rare that is.
post #14 of 33
3/27/08 at 10:49pm
i love and trust my mom but no i didnt at that age it was all about my friends
post #15 of 33
3/27/08 at 11:30pm
I didn't discuss most of those things with my actual mother, but there's a fabulous woman in my life (a high school teacher who I'm still in touch with) who has always been there for me. She was the first person I talked to when I got my first kiss (I was 18), the first person I came out as a lesbian to, the person who I called when I got my first serious girlfriend, etc. Granted, this is all as an older teen.
post #16 of 33
3/28/08 at 12:18am
No at all. I love my parents dearly, but those sorts of conversations would make all parties uncomfortable!
post #17 of 33
3/28/08 at 12:48am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage.Naissance View Post
Yes to who I liked, still do!
No to first kiss, I was TOOO young,
No! to first time, also probably too young,
And yes to emotional aspects of my relationships especially after about 16.
I talked about all of it in retrospect but usually at least a year later.
^exactly. My mom and I have a pretty good relationship. She is now one of my best friends. I have told her everything after the fact, and some things as they happend. I still beleive teens need some privacy. And certain things you just don't wanna tell your mom.
post #18 of 33
3/28/08 at 4:17am
While I did not discuss specific events with my mom (lord knows NEVER would even consider it with my psycho-father), I did talk to her about who I liked, why, etc...and I talked to her about the emotional aspects of a lot of my relationships.

My mom was pretty open, most of the time, and there were a few occasions where we took a boyfriend on a trip back to our hometown for the weekend, that sort of thing...my house was the place most of my friends hung out, so my mom knew who was who and all that jazz.

I absolutely did not tell her about any of my experiences, not my first time or my first kiss or anything like that, but that's because I *knew* I was way too young and in bad situations for those experiences to be happening and I didn't want to get in trouble for making bad decisions--duh, I was 11-14. I wasn't the greatest decision maker.
post #19 of 33
3/28/08 at 4:36am
*Did you tell them about people you liked?
*Did you tell them about your first kiss?
*Did you tell them about your first time?
*Did you feel comfortable discussing emotional aspect of your relationships at that age?

I *kind of* talked to mom about who I liked at the moment. She generally knew.
No on the kiss
I told her who the first time was about a year after it happened, because she asked.
Yes, I actually have been able to talk freely with her about the emotional aspects of my relationships. I remember telling her I wasn't really opening up my heart to my (serious) boyfriend because college relationships are unlikely to last. She said, "You can't just never have a first love because there's a chance it will end!"
post #20 of 33
3/29/08 at 1:32am
no to all of them for me.

so far oldest dc will talk to me about a lot of things but not so much to dh.
I do think it has some to do with personality. oldest dc and I are a lot alike.
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