i cried like 3x yesterday 
the first time was really stupid. my mom was here to help this weekend, and we didn't get as much food cooked and frozen as i'd hoped we would. so when she told me she was going to have to head home in a couple of hours because she had things to do at *her* house, i cried.
then, as my mom was getting ready to leave and we were talking about how she was going to have a bag packed and ready to go for when i call her in labor so she can come right away (she lives about 2.5 hrs away), she told me for the first time that she won't be keeping her cell phone on while she's teaching class (she's a college professor). i lost it, crying madly, because i felt like she was choosing her students over me
um, yeah, whatever.
later in the day i had a really good bawl. this one i really needed, though. i finally admitted to DH (and myself) how scared I am of being a mama again. not the birth part, but the having a baby part. and once i was crying, all kinds of stuff came out of me - like how hard it's been for me to deal with DH being at work all the time, especially since i know it's not really what he wants either. and how i'm worried that i might go into labor and not be able to get in touch with DH right away, and as it is he works over an hour away. and how the m/w might take a couple hours to get here. and DD might be at school, and who will pick her up? and what if i have this baby all alone at home with DS? i was a complete mess. but man did it feel good to get it all off my chest. it's not all completely gone, but it feels much less heavy now than it did before.
i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one who's been a basket case lately!
the first time was really stupid. my mom was here to help this weekend, and we didn't get as much food cooked and frozen as i'd hoped we would. so when she told me she was going to have to head home in a couple of hours because she had things to do at *her* house, i cried.
then, as my mom was getting ready to leave and we were talking about how she was going to have a bag packed and ready to go for when i call her in labor so she can come right away (she lives about 2.5 hrs away), she told me for the first time that she won't be keeping her cell phone on while she's teaching class (she's a college professor). i lost it, crying madly, because i felt like she was choosing her students over me
um, yeah, whatever.later in the day i had a really good bawl. this one i really needed, though. i finally admitted to DH (and myself) how scared I am of being a mama again. not the birth part, but the having a baby part. and once i was crying, all kinds of stuff came out of me - like how hard it's been for me to deal with DH being at work all the time, especially since i know it's not really what he wants either. and how i'm worried that i might go into labor and not be able to get in touch with DH right away, and as it is he works over an hour away. and how the m/w might take a couple hours to get here. and DD might be at school, and who will pick her up? and what if i have this baby all alone at home with DS? i was a complete mess. but man did it feel good to get it all off my chest. it's not all completely gone, but it feels much less heavy now than it did before.
i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one who's been a basket case lately!
