My husband has a 12yo DD from a previous marriage. I started dating him when she was four and he never really was attached to her because he has emotional issues (he's a great guy and I love him a lot, he's just detached - we think he might have a mild form of autism).
Well, I had planned to have an unassisted birth and practice natural parenting for the last eight years, so he knows where I stand. He always seemed fine until I had my baby three weeks ago. He was even totally supportive of me having an unassisted birth.
A few days ago, however, we went in to Wal-Mart to return a bunch of baby stuff his coworkers had bought. I had DD in a sling and she started to fuss and root. DH looked at me and said "I swear, if you whip that 'thing' (meaning my breast) out in here, I'm leaving!" I was totally shocked! Especially since we live in Hawaii and everyone here breastfeeds in public. I told him I'd never been so ashamed of him as I was in that moment
He shut up and I nursed her.
Then yesterday, I had to cook dinner so I put DD in her bouncy seat which I keep on DH's desk so he can watch her when I have to put her down for a second. He doesn't like holding her.
Anyway, she started to cry and wanted to be held. DH looked at her, then went on playing on his computer. I told him to pick her up and he looked at her like she might explode, then took one finger and poked the seat a few times so it would bounce. She continued to cry so I asked him to PLEASE pick her up. He did and she quieted right down. He walked around with her a minute, then started to jump up and down (his version of rocking which he thought was pretty funny) and I was horrified to see her little head bouncing up and down. Of course she started screaming and DH said "Oh, you have to take her now, she wants the boobie."
She doesn't want boobie! She probably thinks she's going to die. He said "no, I used to flip C up in the air all the time when she was a baby and she loved it." After the shock wore off, I told him to calm down and stop making her cry and he looked at me genuinely and said that "babies need to cry. It's good for them. When I had C, we used to just let her cry herself to sleep every night."
I was HORRIFIED and snatched DD away. Jeez! No wonder she still wets the bed!
Then he tried to give her (3 weeks old!) a cookie. I glared at him and he said "that's okay, I'll slip you the good stuff when mom's not looking."
Yeah, like I'm ever going to let him be alone with *MY* baby after all that.
I swear, he's a really sweet guy and I love him to death, I just wonder what the heck planet he came from and how his other DD ever survived past day one.