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What is the worst/dumbest thing anyone has ever said to you about parenting stuff? II - Page 60

post #1181 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by geiamama View Post
I get completely where you are coming from. Most of my family have been wonderful giving DS meat-free alternatives when he comes over for tea but great-grandma did the classic "but it's only chicken" line, as if chicken somehow grows on trees! But then this is the woman who almost killed my cousin because she believed that a peanut allergy was "just a silly fad" and that that not giving him peanuts was "giving in to his picky eating".
The "only chicken" comment reminded me of that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

"What do you MEAN you don't eat no meat? That's ok, I make you some lamb."

post #1182 of 1466
I had to meet with the WIC nutritionist the other day. She looked very worried when I said we were vegetarian and immediately started talking about giving him more chicken and fish to get his iron up. Uh, what did you not get about the word VEGETARIAN?? No, I don't care that your friend calls himself a vegetarian and eats chicken and fish. I don't care that your other friend eats fish too and also claims to be a vegetarian. What's difficult about the VEG part of the word? As in VEGetation. I DON'T EAT MEAT.

*Sigh* At least she added an extra dozen eggs to our coupon every month. Because we all know that eggs are the one and only non-meat source of protein in the world, so we have to make sure DS eats two full dozen eggs every month or he'll wither away. :
post #1183 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmony96 View Post
The "only chicken" comment reminded me of that scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding:

"What do you MEAN you don't eat no meat? That's ok, I make you some lamb."

I like lamb
BAAAAA!
post #1184 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by smeisnotapirate View Post
I have a dear friend who is a nurse who told me when I said my next one would be a HBAC "You know that if something happens, homebirths mean dead babies." :

:

And infants don't die in hospital?

When are people gonna get that the hospital is NOT the safer place to give birth?!
post #1185 of 1466
Not nearly as bad as some of these but it upset me!

A couple years ago I was at some appointment with my then three kids under six. It was taking forever and we ended up sitting in this woman's office for a good hour. My kids were fantastic and at the end of the meeting the woman commented on how well behaved they are. I smiled and said thank you and she followed it up with, "You must get a lot of help from your mom."

Still not quite sure what that meant??

One more...

I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"
post #1186 of 1466
OMG, Agatha! Please tell me you slapped that woman silly!
post #1187 of 1466
Agatha, my blood pressure just shot up reading your post. And sadly, I think I would have been so shocked that I couldn't have told her off.
post #1188 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by yasinsmama View Post
Agatha, my blood pressure just shot up reading your post. And sadly, I think I would have been so shocked that I couldn't have told her off.
I was! It was so over the top that I was speechless! When my family all came out of the store and I told them they had plenty to say, but she was long gone at that point. I had to go back in the store too because my DD had tried on a headband and a belt and we just walked straight out of the store with them! Whoops!
post #1189 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agatha_Ann View Post

I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"
Your poor DD. I can imagine what kind of stress she must have been feeling since your experience sounds like my last flight home to visit my sister and her new DD and by the end I almost had a melt down at standing at the ticket desk trying to find out where my luggage was at 1am.
post #1190 of 1466
I was out walking with DS last week. He was on my back in the mei tai, and was perfectly happy when some guy starts yelling at me. He was far enough away so I wasn't sure what he was talking about, and I kept walking. As he got closer I could tell that he was yelling at me for forcing DS to stare at my back - that he needs to be in a stroller facing forward so he can see. First of all, he can see over my shoulder just fine, and is just as happy staring at the sky, or looking to the sides. Second of all, if he is the slightest bit unhappy, you can bet that I'd be the first to know about it.

So I write this guy off and go about my business, when I hear him yell to another stranger walking down the street about how horrible I am to my kid to carry him like that and what's wrong with me. Ugh.
post #1191 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agatha_Ann View Post

I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"
I can't imagine what i would have said to her- i doubt it would have been nice- Yikes. Who thinks it's ok to talk to people like that , especially young children?
post #1192 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by Agatha_Ann View Post
I was on vacation with my extended family and we had a day that consisted of a three hour drive to the airport, delayed plane, four hour flight, lost luggage, another two hours in the car...not an ideal day for a two year old! We got to the town where we were staying and we had to stop at Target. Inside my at the time two year old daughter completely melted down and was screaming at the top of her lungs. I had seperated from my family and was trying to find them so I could take her outside to settle down and they would know where we were. We were walking around trying to find them with her just losing it and this older woman walked over, got right in DD's face and yelled "YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS STORE!" I was in total shock! We finally found my aunt and told her we were heading outside and went and sat on a bench. DD was sitting on my lap, but still crying when the same woman came out the door, looked over, and once again, "STILL?! GET A GRIP CHILD!"
I had a similar experience at the library book sale. It's always in a room next to the library so I didn't think I needed to keep my ds super quiet, but anyway, he was not super loud or screaming or anything and some old lady looks down at him and says, "Shut-up you stupid little thing!" I was so mad, and asked how she could talk like that and to a child and how rude she was. I was livid and had to leave the room. It was awful. :
post #1193 of 1466
Lordy me, I don't know what I'd do if someone spoke to my child the way you guys have experienced. I mean, usually I'm pretty introverted IRL, but that'd probably flip every switch I have and I could see me just marching after her and giving her a jumbo sized piece of my mind. How dare they!

whew....managed the rant without a single uav.....
post #1194 of 1466
Ooh I just remembered another one, although technically it wasn't when I was a parent...


I have always had a close relationship with my younger cousins, using any excuse to 'play mummy' with them. When I was 19 I took the two girls, then aged 4mths and 4yrs, into town to do some seasonal shopping (and give their mother a well-earned break). We were in a children's clothing store and I had Emily in a Welsh-sling so I was hovering on the edge of the racks and allowing Marie to pick out pretty things she liked and bring them to me. Both girls were immaculately behaved and I couldn't have been more proud when a little old lady came up to me to comment on how peacefully the baby was sleeping and that she hadn't seen a Welsh-sling since her mother.


But she obviously couldn't see Emily properly in the sling and DEFINATELY couldn't see Marie amongst the racks because when I opened up the sling for her to sneek a peak she became cold and said "isn't she a bit dark?" Then when Marie came running up with her 'bestest dress ever' the little old lady flipped completely and shouted in my face : "you slutty teenage mothers with your muddy children are what's wrong with the world today" and stomped off.


I was so shocked. I couldn't move but when I realised that Marie had been frightened and was crying it snapped me back. I calmed her down (a treat trip to McDonalds helped) but I couldn't stop it ging through my head. I understood the misconception that they had been my children but I couldn't work out what the problem was. :


The girls had been well behaved. I though maybe that Marie had got some of the clothes mucky and I hadn't seen but both girls were squeaky clean and in mittens! It finally dawned on me that the reason the woman had flipped so completely and called the girls 'muddy' was their ethnicity. They're mixed race.


It knocked me sideways. I grew up in a predominately white, very liberal enviroment and so had never experience racism before. It was disgusting and made me physically sick that someone could harbour such bile and hate towards two such beautiful, innocent little girls who love everyone they meet without judgement. It's never happened again but that incident has stayed with me ever since.
post #1195 of 1466
i think i posted while pregnant about my nana saying that if i'd carried on smoking i wouldnt be having the 'problem' of my baby being so big (she was 8lb 13oz btw, ds was 7lb 9oz and i quit for him aswell)

2 hours after i gave birth (3 weeks today : )they turned up at my house

she said not to worry about the extra weight, i would soon lose that (i was exhausted and hadnt even looked

a couple of days later and dd hadnt really slept she came back... and told me i should have had drugs in labour cos they pass over to the baby and make them sleep a couple of days so i could rest(the exact reason i didnt have the drugs either time)

my milk hadnt come in yet and dd was feeding constantly ( same as ds, i have hungry babys that grow well, she is 10lb 2oz now) she said i should give her a bottle and if she wouldnt take it to just leave her with someone else and go out, eventually she would reaslise that mummy (and the boobies) werent there and would get so hungry she would take anything

then she offered me a cigarrette and was surprised when i told her she had to go outside to smoke... apparenlty it didnt do me any harm when i was little (apart from the croup i got at 6 months and the asthma )

ive had all the, you dont have to pick her up when she cries and to leave her in the moses basket instead of taking her in with me cos she3 hates it cos she has to learn thats where she sleeps.... i also need to pump because " what if she wants feeding while you are out" i am a single mum, theres no one else here to feed her so i would be pumping, sterilising etc to give her a bottle of something i have on tap : whats the point in that?
post #1196 of 1466
Quote:
Originally Posted by russsk View Post
I was out walking with DS last week. He was on my back in the mei tai, and was perfectly happy when some guy starts yelling at me. He was far enough away so I wasn't sure what he was talking about, and I kept walking. As he got closer I could tell that he was yelling at me for forcing DS to stare at my back - that he needs to be in a stroller facing forward so he can see. First of all, he can see over my shoulder just fine, and is just as happy staring at the sky, or looking to the sides. Second of all, if he is the slightest bit unhappy, you can bet that I'd be the first to know about it.

So I write this guy off and go about my business, when I hear him yell to another stranger walking down the street about how horrible I am to my kid to carry him like that and what's wrong with me. Ugh.
What is wrong with some people? I would have said that the reason my lo is safely on my back and not in a stroller is because of crazy strangers like that guy. Okay, I probably wouldn't have said anything. But it would have been nice to have a comeback for that guy.
post #1197 of 1466
I was trying to think of where to share this moment and I remembered this thread. It certainly was the worst parenting advice I've heard in along time.

We live in an apartment in a house, our landlord lives upstairs with his two sons. Our apartment opens into a short hallway where there is a set of stairs going up and one going down. The stairs go down into a windowless finished basement where LL used to run a computer fixing business. On the far side of this loooonnngg room is a small computer room and the laundry room (which LL shares with us). LL is a very nice man who really likes DS but he's definately got a different parenting style then we do.

Our apartment is a one bedroom, which is fine right now because we co-sleep with DS. (although we told LL that he sleeps in a crib in our room). The other day LL invited me in for tea and cookies and DS got juice and played with some of LL's son's toys.

LL says "I've been thinking that you'll probably be needing a bedroom for (DS) soon. You let me know when and I"ll just clear out the small computer room for you. All you'd need is a baby monitor and he could sleep in there."



I can't think of anything more frightening sleep arrangement for my son then to be put in a scary basement room with no windows on a different floor in the other part of the house.

I quickly changed the subject.
post #1198 of 1466
In the NICU when my son was a few weeks old one of the nurses was constantly talking about how he needed to learn to soothe himself from crying and to sleep alone, because otherwise it was "unfair" to give him expectations I didn't plan to meet. I responded that actually, I absolutely planned to meet his expectations that his needs be met and cries responded to, and if he wouldn't be sleeping alone at home, why would I need to "train" him to do it in the hospital? I tried to explain a bit about my parenting philosophies to her, and at one point she goes- "Well he is going to have to grow up sometime.." Uhh yeah, he is three weeks old, that time is not now!! Lol. She sputtered something, like, that's not what I meant, but I hope it made her realize how ridiculous these expectations are for infants.

My mother said to me the other day, I know you oppose bottles (for the record, I don't oppose them, but I am with my child and thus he has no need for one right now, and I am not comfortable introducing them whilst transitioning him off the nipple shield which we are working on) but I am worried that with all the time he spends nursing, he is missing out on other developmental tasks and his motor skills and cognitive development are going to suffer." So basically, I should pump and feed him my milk in a bottle because nursing the way nature designed is going to stunt his development. I told her that research on the benefits of breastfeeding on physical and mental development were not based on pumping and bottle feeding breast milk, but on breastfeeding as nature intended it, and that my baby knows his needs better than anyone. (To which she actually replied, no they do not!)

My father was adjusting his pants because his belt had come undone or something, and he said excuse me or pardon me, I have to adjust my belt.. and then added something snarky like, since you pull your breasts out all the time I figure you won't mind.. uhh like that's the same thing. I mean, I don't really care if you adjust your pants, but it has nothing to do with my feeding my baby!

My grandma is actually very open minded and progressive in many ways, but she has a few.. she says the whole crying exercises their lungs thing (not as advocating letting a baby cry per se, but still) and when I said something about vaccines and mentioned that I am not doing most of them, maybe all of them, and that his doc recommended a certain one that I am still ambivalent about (HIB), she said, "Well I hope you didn't get your info off the internet, you know there's all sorts of unreliable information out there.. and if his doctor says he should get it, well, I am sure the doctor knows what she is talking about." Now my grandma should know me well enough to know that I am anal about my research and using reliable sources, so she knows better. I have access to hundreds of thousands of research journals and databases through my university library (online) and that's not valid because it's on "the internet?" She has never been on the internet though, so I don't think she really understands, and just sees it as this vast scary place where anyone can write anything, yk? But the whole "the doc knows everything" really gets to me too- they know what they have been told, and they are fallible. Docs have clearly recommended many many things which have later turned out to be harmful or fatal. A close family friend is infertile because her mother's doctor encouraged her to take DES during her pregnancy. I have a health condition which was not diagnosed for almost a year despite frequent doctor visits- I finally did my own research and diagnosed myself. I have enough knowledge and experience to know that just because a doctor says something does not mean much, and I wish she could see that too- it scares me that she is so naive in some ways, yk?

I also get kinda irritated when the second my son fusses, people tell me, oh he's hungry! Like ok, just because he is breastfed and he sometimes yes he cries does not automatically mean he is hungry all the time, and even if he is, I am probably in a better place than you to evaluate and respond to that.. lol. The other day at Easter brunch with family he was fussing and I tried nursing him a few times and he would pull away, and after all that my grandmother goes, I think he's hungry! I was kinda irked at that point and snapped, well considering I have been trying to nurse him for the past ten minutes and he won't do it, I don't think that is the problem.

And people also don't get that nursing is not just "eating," it encompasses non-nutritive and nutritive sucking, as well as the need for closeness and comforting, so I get a lot of stupid comments about that- "nursing sure takes a lot more time than just feeding him bottles" etc.

I am sure I'll think of more but those are what popped to mind.
post #1199 of 1466
Also, I was at my new mom's group, and one of the moms who'd just had her second child (most of the rest of us are first time mamas) said, "My advice for all the first time moms is to get them on the bottle as early as possible- it's sooo nice to get away from them and be able to go out and just have someone else feed them." Aside from the obvious fact that bottles should not be introduced until breastfeeding is well established, it just struck me the wrong way- maybe it's different as a solo mama, since I don't have a partner to give a bottle even if I wanted, but this emphasis on wanting to get away from your baby and it being such a relief not to have to nurse them is just not something I can relate to, and to say that to a group of new mamas with weeks old babies? Plus the implication that baby can't just go along with and nurse as needed makes it seem like having a baby needs to tie you down and keep you cooped up at home, which is not many womens' reality either, although with the way my little one cries in the car right now we don't go out as much as we might otherwise.. but still, I can't think of anywhere that I would want or need to go at this point in time where the little one couldn't just come along in the sling and nurse as needed. I just hate the emphasis on breastfeeding (and parenting in general) as a burden or inconvenience. Obviously I didn't make any snappy comeback, that is her reality and it is her right to share it, but she seemed to be saying it as direct advice, like that is what we should all be doing, and sometimes in a group like that, comments like that get to me and make me wonder, are the other mamas feeling that way too or am I the only one who is not relating to that perspective, yk?
post #1200 of 1466
Mom was up this weekend, and was really wonderful. I had a laugh about one thing, though.

She bought us this crazy, top of the line stroller, despite me telling her not to waste her money. When DS was born, she bugged us to use it immediately. I slung him. She said that next time, we'd have him in the stroller. The next time she came out, we were slinging him. She said that by next time, we'd have him in the stroller. This time, she said "where's the stroller?" So I told her that we still haven't used it. She humphed and said "Why did I waste my money on something like that if you're not going to use it??" I laughed and said "Yeah, Ma! Why DID you waste your money on something like that even though I said I wouldn't use it?" We both chuckled and she affectionately said "You hippie. Those slings do look comfy, though.......... and he's really happy in it."

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